Forgotten Roses
by Buria
Summary: After one fateful night that changed everything, will an amnesiac Rose be able to piece her life back together? And this time will Dimitri be able to win her heart over? Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**I got this idea while I was doing the dishes and decided hey why the hell not? As usual, I'm winging it, so you never know what turns this story might take. I'm totally out of element here but I want to give it a try.**

**Summary: Roza doesn't know who she is. The only link she holds her to her past in the golden ring around her finger, with the words engraved on the inside, For my Roza, I will always love you. Roza has no recollection of who she was but she hopes with the help of her new friends, and not to mention her hunky savior, Adrian Ivashkov that she'll find out who she really is.**

**Any nickname's for Rose, that Adrian might call her by? I've narrowed it down to: Little nixie, sunshine, Lethe, or Ariel? No mermaid jabs. Ariel's the exception...**

**Forgotten Roses**

**Chapter 1**

Adrian

I had to get away.

Don't get me wrong, California is the good life. Girls in bikini's, under privileged drinking, rambunctious beach parties past midnight, bonfires, sailing, and not to mention the vast ocean made a great companion. These elements made up my life and most days I was perfectly content to live that way. But then there were days like this.

"He needs to start worrying about his future, Daniella! All he does is make a nuisance of himself, partying and drinking late with god knows who!"

I rolled my eyes as my wealthy parents fought over 'my' future. Sure I drank, all college freshman's did, I was no exception. As for the woman, let's just say they 'followed' me home. Apparently this wasn't typical behavior in the newly started summer. My father demanded I go to college to become a hot shot lawyer because that's what 'real' men do. In my eyes my father was the most insane, incredulous person to walk the earth. He didn't give a damn about me, or my over protective mother, never did. His soul intent was to keep up appearances and show off his trope family. Crazy.

My mother was calm, regardless of my father's hostile facade. She always held a composure of sereneness. "He's wise enough to make his own decisions. Have you forgotten how rampant you once were Nathan? Partying late, taking home a different woman to bed every night. Not that I approve of you bringing useless girls into our home Adrian."

My father flushed indignantly. I took great delight in his sudden mortification. I had a front seat ticket after all to see my egotistical father crack under pressure, his composure rarely chipped so when it did it was prime time entertainment. I slouched back, raising my feet on the ridiculously expensive coffee table. My father's anger took precedence, his predominant hazel eyes zeroed in on me.

"I'm sick of this, you hear me boy? Figure out what you're going to do with your life by the end of the summer or I swear-"

My lips quirked up on their own accord. "What father? What are you going to do?"

He gritted his teeth, but there was nothing he could say or do for that matter. After all how would he explain his son's absence to the neighbors? I got up and as I walked out of the room my father exclaimed, "This isn't over Adrian."

Might as well be, I thought, not giving him the satisfaction of conceding his words. It went through on ear and right out the other. That's how it was in this family. You voiced your complaints, no one took it seriously, followed by fits of outrage. Ah, the Ivashkov house was always a delight. Too bad I didn't feel like sticking around. I went out the front door of the extravagant beach house I'd grown up in. It was the biggest, most expensive house along the beach. A two story house that overlooked the sparkling vast ocean. I took to the beach, it always brought comfort in spite the detrimental arguments my father always brought to the table. It was twilight, in other words the best time to party and get plastered. But my heart wasn't into it tonight. A rarity for me.

I considered heading over to the dock and going sailing. I'd barely made it halfway to the docks.

"Adrian!"

It was a voice I would know anywhere, Sydney Sage. My childhood friend, the two of us use to be inseparable. She was probably the only girl I never hit on. I considered her my best friend, not that I'd admit it but after we went our separate ways to college our friendship had taken a huge drift. Regardless of the sour mood I was in I was happy to see her.

"Hey Syd," the nickname came naturally to my lips.

She threw her arms around me in a warm embrace, which surprised me tremendously. Although it had been quite a while since I'd last seen her. The last time I saw her was at Christmas when we were both home on break. I hugged her back.

She pulled away so I could see her sly smile. Her sleek dirty blond hair was tied up in a casual bun. She wore a light pink tank top, her slim ivory arms crossed her chest. Along that she wore a pair of white shorts that did wonders for her long creamy legs. Her body always held temptation but it was always the steely blue eyes that made me reconsider anything like that. Her cheekbones were angular, promptly narrowed. Her features could be tended into a softer look when she smiled or they could transform into a downright scary glare which made me falter every time.

"I came by a few minutes ago, heard your parents," she sighed knowingly. "How long have you been back for?"

I knew what that latter sentiment really meant. How long have you been here without telling me? I shrugged, "Couple weeks." I ran a hand through my dark brown locks.

I expected one of those come hither glared but instead her expression softened. "Well, it's good to have you back."

It slipped out casually, "At least someone thinks so."

"They'll come around," she promised, a few loose strands of her hair flew in the slight breeze. "Where you off to?"

"The dock. You wanna come Sagey?"

She hated that nickname, but conceded nonetheless. "I suppose."

I laughed and we headed off towards the dock. We talked about college, Sydney's little sister Zoey.

"Back up a second," I grinned, "Little Zoey's getting married? The same Zoey who chased butterflies and got ants in her hair?"

Sydney grimaced at the latter memory. "Well she's all grown up now, in love with some genius foreign destitute she met at Brown. They're getting married on the thirtieth. We sent your parents an invitation," she said, as if it were obvious.

The mentioned of my parents however darkened my humor. "Never came up. This is the first time I'm hearing about it."

"Good, because we both expect you to be there."

"Very well. Who am I to turn down the sage sisters?"

Sydney rolled her eyes placidly.

We reached the dock finally and walked to my boat. My boat was a fifty fuel engine. She was a fine boat for sailing. I named her Summer after my favorite season. Sydney and I got on board. The sun was setting, leaving behind a faint pink and red afterglow. I preferred sailing when the son went up but this was a glorious sight too. Once we were out of the dark waters we talked little. The ocean was the one place I left my smart moth behind. It was the one place in the world where I was content to be. The alcohol was a different story.

"What's that?"

"Hmm?"

"Adrian open your god damned eyes!"

The fear in her voice made me more aware than the actual command. Sydney's eyes were wide, gaunt with disbelief. "There's something in the water."

"It's probably just drift wood," I said calmly, though I squinted my eyes to see where her eyes were aimed at.

"Go turn on the spotlight," she commanded, "Now!"

I scrambled up from my comfortable position. You don't say no to a Sage sister when she's scary calm. I ran up the stairs, a certain chill in my chest. It was stupid of me to go sailing when it was so dark. I turned on the spotlight, trying to aim in on the floating figure.

That's when I realized it was indeed a figure. Not drift wood. Not a figure of imagination. But a person, a real, dead or alive person.

"Oh god," screeched Sydney, realizing the same thing. "It's a girl. Adrian! We have to do something."

"I know!" I wanted to keep the light on her floating body. "Sydney move closer! Move the boat closer. I have to keep the light secure!"

"Oh, okay," she said and a moment later the boat lurched forward. As we neared the body Sydney stopped the boat. I kept the light on the body and ran downstairs.

"Adrian, what are you doing?"

I stripped down to my underwear and a moment later I dived into the cool deep water. Under the surface I could see her, the body. I came back up for air and moved my arms and legs in perfect synchronized movements. The water was freezing temperature, my heart was beating frantically in my chest even though every part of me felt frozen. When I reached her, I grabbed both her arms, her back lay against my chest as I brought her back to the boat. Dark hair tickled my chest and the arms held had an almost bluish tint.

"Sydney!" I gasped, my vision hazy from the dark water. "Help her!"

We both hoisted the body up. I followed, every one of my muscles aching with fatigue. Sydney had produced towels and was wrapping them around the mysterious girl's body. She chucked a towel at me.

"She has a pulse," she said, strangely calm. That was Sydney for you. "It's very faint but it's there."

I dropped the towel by accident and moved forward. "CPR, now Sydney. Do it," I said through chattering teeth.

She looked at me square in the eyes. "I don't know if I can-"

"You did it with me. You can do it for her."

She blanched, "That was a long time ago."

"We're running out of time. I can barely breathe, you need to do it now!"

She didn't say anything, instead she placed both her hands on the unconscious girl's chest and began pushing down. "One, two, three," she muttered determinately and then she was leaning down, pressing her mouth to the girls.

"C'mon Syd."

"One, two, three."

"You can do this," I murmured, looking down at the pale, innocent face of an average girl. Brown hair obscured her face and shoulders. She wore a ragged black dress, her skin still had a frightening blue tint. She seemed to be about Sydney's height. There was something in her face, despite being unconscious that made me think she was the most innocent creature I'd ever seen. That revelation made it hard to see her like this. I truly, profoundly wanted for this young girl to live.

Sydney, fast and efficiently pumped the girl's chest. Her eyes were a blaze of determination. Minutes could have passed. Hours could have passed.

Then, quite suddenly the unmoving girl twitched and water spurted out of her mouth.

I laughed in incredulously as the girl choked up more water. A bizarre reaction. The laugh was a combination of unconfined disbelief and relief it self.

The relief I felt mirrored the look in Sydney's eyes.

"I'm going to start the boat," I said, wishing I had done so sooner.

"Go," is all Sydney said.

I gave the girl one last look. Her chest heaved rapidly as she fought some inner battle to stay alive.

"It's going to be okay," I muttered as I started the engine. "It's going to be fine."

**XxxxXxxxX**

**Review please! Sorry for any spelling mistakes.**

**Next chapter's in Rose's POV.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

**XxxxXxxxX**

Rose

My eyelids slowly, reluctantly opened.

I found myself in a small hospital room, it was very white; from the walls to my bed sheets. It was all very depressing. In fact I was starting to feel claustrophobic, like the small space might suffocate me. But that was stupid even though my rapidly beating heart disagreed. I lifted my torso up and examined myself. I had no idea, no clue as to how I ended in a hospital bed. Anxiety pooled in my stomach, twisting and unpleasant. I removed the bed sheets, revealing a skimpy light blue garment I wore. I inspected my arms and legs cautiously. My skin was unnaturally hot, and in some place covered with purplish bruises. I didn't know how I missed it earlier but my forehead was wrapped in thick bandages. Did I have a concussion or something? Shouldn't someone be here with me? A doctor, a friend...My family?

My eyebrows creased with worry. Why am I here? But a more important question and one infinitely more power: Who am I?

I pressed my hands to my face, expecting tears but they never came. Instead I felt something startling cold and metallic. A ring. It was absolutely stunning and I was at a loss for words not only for it's extravagant beauty but because I didn't remember putting it there. Tentatively I removed the ring from the wedding finger on my right hand. I stared at it curiously, angling it this way and that. If I squinted hard enough I could just make out the words engraved on the golden band: For my Roza, I will always love you.

Roza? My name? Is Roza my name? My lips trembled because I didn't know. I had no idea. It didn't sound right, familiar.

What did I know about me? I didn't have time to ponder it.

My head snapped up to the sound of the door being propped open. With instinct I didn't know I had I jumped out of the hospital bed. The door opened, revealing an elderly woman with gentle, worn features and kind eyes. I swallowed nervously and edged back just in case, my back hit the wall.

"Hello dear," she smiled, showing dimples. Light blond hair cascaded down her her shoulders. Her face was light, open. Sympathetic. She wore a white lab coat over a dark green shirt and black pants that hugged her slim body. "Nice to see up," she commented.

I stared at her dumbfounded. So many questions plagued me but I was afraid if I didn't get the details in order I would go crazy.

She drifted to the window and yanked a cord, sun light poured into the small, stuffy room. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Regardless of how innocent she seemed I kept my distance. For all I knew she had a couple needles in her pockets.

"I'm Dr. Sage. I'm sure you have questions but they can wait until you get some food and sugar in you."

She had a point, I was voracious for anything that passed as food and until she brought it up I hadn't realized how thirty I was.  
>I swallowed, making the muscles in my throat work. No matter how much my stomach craved food I had to know something, anything.<p>

So far all I had was a name.

"I-" the sound of my own voice sent a trickle of excitement through my body. "I need to know why I'm here. I'll eat, no worries there. But I-I don't," I sighed in frustration. "I don't know why I'm in a hospital bed."

Profound concern flashed across the elderly woman's face. "I worried this might happen."

I frowned and waited for her to say more but she paused as a young nurse walked it. She smiled at me tentatively and placed a tray of food on the lone bed.

"Go on now," Dr. Sage encouraged. "You eat, I'll talk," she smiled, a glint in her light blue eyes.

Reluctantly I complied. The bottle of water was to good to pass up. I swallowed the liquid until there was nothing left and sat down cautiously. A bowl of grapes greeted me, as well as crackers and cheese. It was a side snack really. But I would take what I could get. Suddenly Dr. Sage was forgotten. My hunger had taken precedence.

"Wow. Someone's gotta an appetite," my head snapped up and I found myself starring into a pair of emerald-green eyes. "And you guys are feeding her crackers! That's torture," he groaned mockingly. "At least throw in a couple main dishes."

He smiled at me, showing a line of perfect white teeth. His soft looking brown hair was tousled in a messy disarray. His face was cute, prominent cheek bones, narrow nose and of course his eyes were stunning. His skin was a light ivory. He was very tall and towered over the girl behind him. She elbowed him playfully in the ribs and strode forward.

Dr. Sage soft features turned cold. "You two shouldn't be in here. I told you to wait."

"And I completely agree mother," she smiled at me but I was frozen, my heart kicked into overdrive again. "But Adrian here insisted on making sure are young Ariel was alright."

"Sydney Sage," Her voice conveyed friendship but I was to confused by all the smiles to understand where all this kindness was coming from. She extended her pale hand out. Inexplicably stunned I took in her sleek blond hair, her steely blue eyes. She was a startling contrast to her mother. I stared at her hand for a moment before shaking it.

"I apologize dear," Dr. Sage said meaningfully. "This is my daughter as you already assumed and her mischievous friend, Adrian Ivashkov," I spared Adrian another glance, his eyes were imploring, curious and the smile never quite left his face. "They pulled you out of the water a few days ago."

My jaw dropped, I'd have been embarrassed if I wasn't so abashed. "Pulled me out of the water?" I tried to ignore the my quivered but shock mingled with anxiety made it hard to stop.

I glanced at every face in the room. My outburst didn't seem to surprise any of them.

"Yes," Dr. Sage continued, her earlier sympathy still remained but her face was stern as well as her words. "They were sailing when they saw you floating in the water."

Oh god. This can't be happening. I remained quiet, begging with my eyes for the compassionate elderly woman to continue on.

"We don't know how long you rested on the water. You had a very faint pulse. It's a miracle, really both that you were rescued and you seem to have made a full recovery.

A recovery without knowledge, I thought, without memories.

The boy slouching at the door asked gently, "What's your name?"

I looked away from his steady gaze, away from all of them and played with the mysterious gold ring on my finger. What could I say? I didn't have any recollection of what my name was. Except for the ring I wore I realized with a start.

"Roza," I murmured, still unable to meet their curious gazes. "I-I think my name is Roza."

I could hear the frown in Sydney's voice, although it was quiet, gentle, it still hurt. "You think?"

"Adrian, Sydney," Dr. Sage prompted. "I need to speak alone with R-Roza. You can speak to her later, if that's okay with you?"

I nodded mutely.

The door shut and I raised my head cautiously to meet the elderly woman's soft expression.

"Roza," she mused quietly, "It suits you. But most people don't question themselves over their names. Can you tell me about your family, so that we can get in touch with them."

I grimaced, suddenly assaulted with hot treacherous tears. "I don't know," my heart ached painfully. "I don't remember."

Dr. Sage nodded, expression pensive, compassionate. "Roza-It's safe to call you that right?"

I nodded, it was better than the endless alternatives.

"I've been a doctor for a very long time. I wasn't quite sure at first but I think you may have had a serious concussion. I'm positive the reason you don't remember your life is because you an have amnesia."

Amnesia.

Did that mean I had family? Friends? People who cared about me? I looked at the gold ring on my hand. 'For my Roza. I will always love you.' I shivered but it wasn't from the cold.

"I wish I could give you more information," I said, brushing away the tears. "But I can't," I closed my eyes, silently begging my frustration to disappear. "I can't remember my own name. I don't know who my family is. Or if I have one for that matter. I don't know where I'm from. Home is a mystery."

Home. Why did I feel homesick if I didn't even know what home was. Not to mention where.

"My head," I gently touched my forehead. "I don't know how I ended up with a concussion. I don't know why I was floating in the ocean."

Dr. Sage looked torn, her expression a combination of sympathy and confusion. "Roza," she stared at me meaningfully, "I don't know who you are. But I can help you, your memories, your life may come back to you in pieces. I'll do everything I can to help you. And of course we'll contact the local police, they can pass your picture around. Probably even put out a story on national television."

"You've already done to much," I whispered. "If it weren't for your daughter, who I haven't even thanked I would probably be dead."

Dead. I wondered if death was a better alternative than being swiped of your memories.

"Roza," her mask of professionalism slipped away replaced by deep sadness. "I'm grateful Sydney and Adrian found you. If one of my daughter's had amnesia, I'd want to be with them. You have a family out there, worried sick about you. I want to help you. My daughter wants to help you. Don't you ever think anything less or anything more. We're proud to aid you in anyway. In fact, if you'd like and it's okay with the local station well I'd like you to come stay with us in our home. We have a spare room. That way I can check on you regularly and maybe piece together anything you start to remember."

I was literally rendered speechless. This kind woman was willing to take me into her home. Into her professional care. I didn't know much about myself but I did know one thing, I hated crying. "I would appreciate that so much. But," I blinked away the tears. "How can you just allow a stranger into your home? I could be a serial killer for all we know or a child rapists," I flinched even though I knew deep down I was neither of those things. "I couldn't intrude like that."

Dr. Sage laughed, a soft amused laugh. "Oh Roza. I may not know you anymore than you do but I'm pretty convinced your mone of those things. And truly, it's no problem. I insist."

My tears dried up I regarded this woman as an angel even though her daughter had done most of the saving. "Always invite your patients home?" I joked, masking my joy.

I didn't want to spend another minute in this hospital.

She laughed, her dimples surfaced again. "It happens but I know a good soul when I see one."

A sob built up in my throat. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

**XxxxXxxxX**

**I know the chapter's are short but I'm going to try and get one out every couple days. But I hoped you liked it! Reviews motivate me! Twilighternproud asked if this is RxD, well I don't wanna say just yet. But I will say Dimitri eventually enters the story.**

**Can't eat until sunset because of Ramadan but I'll def eat your reviews. Wink***


	3. Chapter 3

You guys want Dimitri, eh? Well here he is.

Chapter 3

Dimitri Belikov watched the luminous glowing sun rising over the celestial horizon, reflected in the calm grey waves of the ocean. He was lost in the sight of the mysterious clouds as they huddled together and ever slowly drifted apart in the scarlet, pink sky. A slight breeze tossed his dark chin length hair into his eyes, gently brushing his cheeks in the process. The scent of brine sea water filled his nose as he breathed routinely. Sometimes he would get so lost in the pain of having lost 'her' that his heart would stop beating and he would let go of a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He listened to the strangely pleasant sounds of the waves crashing routinely in their haste to push forward, breath, and the tide would start over.

Dimitri had never felt helpless in his life. He believed in his heart, in his mind, that there would always be a solution, a way to correct things no matter. But as he sat on the smooth sand beneath his feet he did feel helpless, helpless and despair. His emotions were an endless pattern of chronic fury, interminable pain that sometimes lasted for days at a time, the feeling of being lost and having lost the most important part of his life. He preferred the latter state he was currently in, a trance like frame of my mind that didn't require thinking. It just barely numbed the pain.

The insatiable pain and lashing anger were one story but one thing that always stayed with him was the undying confusion he so often felt. Why her? Always he asked himself that. Why Rose? Dimity always blamed himself for not saving her. When he lost her his life came crashing down.

It all happened so quickly. To quickly for him to make sense of it. The grand ship had been in honor of Lissa and Christain's engagement. Everything had been going smoothly. That night he and Rose danced and laughed and kissed. Dimitri remembered the way she had looked at him, the way her eyes danced with amusement before she leaned in to kiss him, and told him for the first time that she loved him. Dimitri knew, he always knew Rose was his. His love was the waves, the sea current that went on and on forever. He didn't know they were being watched. He had no idea the moment he left Rose alone on the deck, surrounded by moonlight that 'she' was waiting in the darkness.

Tasha Ozera.

Dimitri knew for certain that Tasha was interested in him. But for him it was always casual friendship, nothing less and nothing more. He often sought her out for comfort and humor but when Rose entered her life, he didn't need her. She was his friend but Rose was his other half. He lived for Rose. His heartbeat reverberated while each thump was for her and for her only; Roza, Roza, Roza.

He didn't expect Tasha to push Rose into the railing. But more importantly he didn't expect the railing to give way, to cause Rose to fall into the deep waters while she cried his name out. He had jumped into action at the sound of her cry and returned to the scene, the destroyed railing, Rose missing from the place she stood a moment ago. Tasha Ozera pale as a ghost. He realized immediately what happened and he was ready to jump in after her but then there were arms restraining him, forcing him back. Dimitri screamed viciously, crying Rose's name. There had been blood stains on the side of the ship, as if she had hit her head.

She was lost to him.

"Dimitri."

Dimitri didn't realize his name had been uttered numerous times. Lissa Dragomir sat down beside him, her own sorrows clear in her pensive green eyes. Dimitri spared her a glance. He felt inclined to protect Rose's best friend. He owed her that much and when Rose came back she would thank him.

"I brought you something to eat," she hesitantly said, her blond hair flowing in the wind, her face was worn with grief and lines of fatigue.

He wondered when was the last time she slept. Dimitri himself hadn't slept since the night before the accident. He wanted to be wide awake when Rose came home, he wanted to hold her in his arms and stroke her long dark hair and tell her him much he loved her. How much he missed her.

"Thank you."

He rarely spoke anymore and when he did his voice was unrecognizable to his own ears. He was faintly aware of Lissa setting a plate down in front of him. But he wasn't hungry. He expected Lissa to sigh, get on her feet and walk away but this morning she stayed.

"How long will you stay here?" She gently murmured, eyes distant as she stared at the clear ocean. "You don't eat, you don't talk. I don't think I've ever even seen you sleep."

Dimitri suddenly wanted her to leave. To let him be and not question his motives. He wasn't sure what he might have said but it didn't matter because she had more to say.

"I called off my wedding," she said so casually they could have been discussing the weather.

The sun finally ascended, breaking free of the clouds, illuminating the mysterious ocean.

"I know," I said reverently.

She didn't say anything more and after a while he hadn't even noticed she's already departed.

Dimitri wasn't sure why but he was suddenly very, very angry. Pent up rage egressed out of his body as he raised himself up.

There was only one person he wanted to take that anger out on.

One hour later he was starring into icy blue eyes. Tasha Ozera hadn't been sentenced to death. Her actions that led to Rose's death were considered manslaughter and she had long years ahead of her. They were separated by iron cold bars. Tasha hugged her body nervously as Dimitri glared at her, full of hate, betrayal.

It slipped out of his mouth, the way it had the last time. "Why?" It was a reasonable question but the answers she conveyed to him were never enough. Never.

"I'm sorry Dimitri-"

"Don't you dare plead your case with me," I stared at her menacingly. "That's not why I'm here. Why?"

Tears streamed down her face. "I didn't know the rail would give out, I swear Di-"

"That's not what I asked!" I cried, unable to keep my voice down. The guards shifted in my peripheral vision.

"I-I just wanted to hurt her," she whispered. " As much as you hurt me by being with her."

"Mission accomplished," I sneered. I dropped my voice so the guards would stop fidgeting. "Now we can be together Tasha," my voice was cold, sly. "Now that you've got her out of the picture we can finally be together, huh?"

Her face contorted with fear, her eyes widened.

I continued, taking great delight in her discomfort. "That's what you wanted right Tasha? For us to be together."

A sob broke out of her chest.

I laughed humorlessly. "I'm going to make you pay. This prison cell is heaven compared to what I'll do."

Dimitri didn't know if he believed his own words. He only know he felt good when he threatened her. He wanted her to be scared of him. He wanted her to suffer. But then something in Tasha Ozera's face made him lose his cool. He wasn't guilty, not exactly. He was afraid, he didn't understand why the monster in him wanted to hurt the sobbing woman before him. Terrorizing her wouldn't bring Roza back.

Roza.

His pulse quickened as he backed away from the prison cell. Roza. Roza. Roza. Roza. Roza.

He closed his eyes, the image of her face, her hair was so strong. So vivid.

He needed to go back to the beach. He needed to wait for her. He would always be waiting.

XxxxXxxxX

Is it me or is Dimitri going a little looney?

Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

I got a bunch of hilarious reviews! Thanks guys, made my day. The pressure is on! I really hope you guys like this chapter.

Chapter 4

Roza

She felt like a bird trapped in a cage.

The plain silver walls of the interrogation room made her truly anxious and left her feeling uncertain in both heart and mind. In a moment of surreal panic she feared the small room would suffocate her, shatter her. For hours she'd been under question by a pair of overly serious rookie's. Questions she usually became blank upon, questions she most often didn't have answers to. The police inquired about her childhood, her family, her life. Roza's frustration often got the best of her. She preferred anger to the pain of knowing nothing, remembering no one. She usually answered with witty retorts that left both herself and the police officers stunned. For what's it worth she was learning more and more about herself by the minute, like the fact that she cracked jokes when she was uncomfortable or had a voracious appetite and preferred rooms that didn't question her sanity.

"And you don't remember anything? Anything at all from your childhood?"

It was awful, having no recollection of her past, tore at her heart in ways she never thought possible. Then again what did she know?

"Damn it. I told you I don't remember," was her instantaneous reply. She was tired of saying those words. They made her feel tired and sent her heart hammering again and again. What if I don't ever remember? She would keep asking herself. "I'm not a degenerate," she persisted indignantly. "I don't deserve to be cooped up like this. God, haven't you people ever heard of windows? I want out. I want out right now."

The female rookie sighed, looking as tired and worn out as Roza felt. Strands of short blond hair framed her pale skin. "You're right. We just need one more thing."

Roza exhaled deeply, "Okay."

"We need your ring-"

Roza's anger was like a flash of scalding heat. "What? No. Absolutely not!"

She was livid. They didn't actually think they could take the only piece of material she owned, could they? The gold band on her finger was her only possession, the only link she had to her past. For my Roza, I will always love you. The words engraved on the ring's surface made her feel hollow inside, dead.

"It's purely precautionary," insisted the other officer, he was young with tousled brown hair and reasonably good looking but his hotness was irrelevant right now. "Think about it. If this ring belongs to someone we can get in touch with it could help you find your family."

Roza snorted, her pulse raced unsteadily. "It doesn't matter-I mean I'm not giving up hope but I don't see how a a freaking ring might be useful...So find another way."

The young blond gave Roza an exasperated look. "Fine," she grumbled. "I guess we're all done here. My partner here is going to authenticate your missing person's report. Now Roza, we ask that you come by as often as you can. If you remember anything, a name, a face, anything," she enunciated, "It can help us to help you."

Roza nodded stiffly, desperate to get out of the confined room and away from her interrogators. "Understood."

Roza was accompanied out of the room by the officers who led her to another room and someone was waiting her her.

Dr. Sage.

Unexpected relied flooded through Roza, stunning her. This woman's woman's presence made her feel a little less scared, and a little less hopeless. Dr. Sage smiled when she saw Rose.

"I have good news," she said at last, her sky blue eyes were enigmatic and ambiguous. Roza nodded, unsure how else to respond. "I talked to child services, filled out some paperwork. Roza, I can be your sole guardian until your family-"

Something unpleasant uncoiled inside of Roza because of what she was about to say next.. "No," she she found herself said blandly, her insides felt hollow. "I just spent two hours being interrogated, I don't remember anything about my life. If my memories don't start coming back soon than you'll be stuck with me. I can't do that to you. I appreciate the offer but I've got some cash," the officers had given her a roll of money incase she needed to buy clothes and essentials of her own. It wouldn't last long but she was willing to take her chances. Even if it meant taking them alone. "I can crash at a hotel, get a job or something."

"Roza," Dr. Sage persisted, an edge of wistfulness to her voice, "you can't stay at a hotel. You've undergone a great ordeal. You're alive, yes. Recovered? You said it yourself, you don't remember much. You'll learn more about yourself surrounded by others. I'm a doctor, I can help you. You don't have to worry about curfews, or cleaning your room. I just want to help. Let me help you Roza."

Roza read the sincerity in her words, the earnest, acknowledged the kindness in her soft yet determined gaze. "I don't mind having a curfew," she murmured, earning a smile from her sole guardian.

XxxxXxxxX

Dr. Sage talked animatedly on the way to her home. She talked about her children vicariously. Roza was fascinated by what Dr. Sage had to say, she admired the adoration in her voice when she spoke of her daughters. She also mentioned her husband had passed away years ago.

"I'm sorry," Roza said, focusing her attention back on Dr. Sage. She had been momentarily distracted by the stunning horizon, the sun was slowly making it's descent.

Dr. Sage mustered a wistful smile, "It's alright, he's in a better place now."

Roza pondered her words as she stared out the side window, palm trees flashed by her swiftly. She still wasn't sure if she believed in god or if there was such a thing. But it didn't matter because Roza had always believed in what she could do for herself. No amnesia had changed that. She rolled down her window, wafting her hand in the breeze barely aware of the time, or place she was.

"Home sweet home," Dr. Sage sang, pulling the car into the long spacious driveway.

Startled out of her unexpected trance Roza glanced up, faintly aware of her jaw dropping. Dr. Sage hadn't elaborated much on her home but Roza was no fool. She knew doctors made grand salaries she just hadn't expected something so earth shatteringly beautiful.

"Wow," she said, her anxiety and nervousness long forgotten.

The home before her was two stories, with large white walls and intricate windows on all sides. Something about the formation reminded Roza of the colosseum, it had a mysterious allurement. Dr. Sage ushered her inside, which to Roza was just as beautiful. After a tour of the house Dr. Sage offered Roza some grub. Roza kindly declined, even though the thought of food made her hungry.

"The girls aren't home right now but you're welcome to this home like it's your own. I'm sure your exhausted Rose, let's get you to your room."

"Thank you Dr. Sage," Roza said, feeling overwhelmed her her her endless hospitality. The more time spent with her the more she came to like and admire the elderly woman.

"Linda," she corrected earnestly. "Call me Linda."

Roza felt an unfamiliar ache in her chest. She didn't know where she would be without this woman's kindness. "Thank you Linda."

Dr. Sa-Linda led Roza to her room. Roza remembered to keep her mouth safely shut this time. Like the rest of the enchanting home her grand room was just as elegant and sophisticated. The walls were decorated in white and blue intricate patterns. A tempting queen sized bed beckoned Roza closer. Her muscles ached with fatigue. The room had an adjoining washroom which Roza was grateful for. She walked to the window, she had a good view of the ocean.

"There's some spare clothes in the wardrobe," Linda prompted. "My daughter Zoey and you are the same size. She's never worn these before," she promised.

Without thinking about it Roza ran up to the kind woman and hugged her. Linda hid her surprise well. "Thank you."

Linda smiled, "Get some rest," she said, quietly shutting the door behind her.

Roza exhaled unsteadily, her pulse thundering in her chest. It had been a long day, with waking up in a hospital, learning she had amnesia, being interrogated by the police. Roza collapsed on the comfy bed, her eyes instantaneously slipping closed.

XxxxXxxxX

Just going through the motions with this chapter. Please review!

It's so strange using Roza, and not Rose. It kept messing me up.

I want Rose to have a really good nickname from Adrian. Can you guys give me suggestions? Or tell me which one of these you like: Little Rose? Little nixie? Sunshine?

I know this chapter was a bore but I promise once the characters develop the story will get better.

Does anyone know a story or one shot where Dimitri is at Rose's trials/graduation? 


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys rock, I loved the reviews! **

**Chapter 5**

* * *

><p>Roza<p>

I awoke with a start, my eyes slowly adjusting to the grim darkness except for pale moon light cascading through my window. My pulse raced, my heart crashed in my ears as I sat up, my body covered in a heap of blankets. My skin was unpleasantly warm and sticky with perspiration. I ran a shaking hand through my damp hair and promptly fell back, as my tired eyes threatened to close. Breathing harshly I struggled to remember the features of the beautiful man I'd dream't of mere seconds ago. The image of his startlingly glorious face danced in my mind. The long brown locks that framed his slightly tanned angular cheeks. The deep brown eyes that were impossible to look away from, the perfect crescent shape of his lips and the way his face brightened when he smiled.

I felt a drop of moisture slide down my cheek. _Who are you? Are you mine? _My eyes closed, as my heart slowed down. My world turned dark again but I didn't see the beautiful face of the mysterious man again.

XxxxXxxxX

Linda made mouthwatering pancakes. They were crispy and golden and I ate more than I could count. In my haste to chow down the delectable plate I earned an abashed look from one of the Sage sisters. She smiled tentatively when she caught my eye. Her own were an intense blue, like sapphire. She had the same radiant features of her mother, her cheeks were prominent in comparison yet the same creamy white skin and her hair was a mess of blond curls. The two of us made small talk although her mother got most of the conversation going for us.

"You should take Roza along with you shopping," she suggested casually. "You don't have many belongings of your own," she tactfully added on, her short blond hair was in better shape today and framed her hopeful expression.

"That's not necessary," I was quick to say, feeling impertinent enough. I was already invading their home with my inessential presence.

To my further discomfort Zoey didn't seem displeased at all by the suggestion but enthusiastic instead. "Nonsense," she asserted with another tentative smile. "You need your own wardrobe. We'll show you the most divine stores in Santa Barbra. Right Sydney?"

Sydney-one of my daring heroes-was studiously reading the front page of the newspaper. She gave little acknowledgement of her name, "Yeah, I know a great place," she murmured distractedly, still invested in the paper.

Sydney had barely spoken to me except for a kind morning greeting, although I didn't blame her. I wouldn't want a stranger living with me in my house. Especially one who knew so little about herself.

Zoey rolled her dark blue eyes, "Since when are you so interested in the front page?"

A furtive smile pulled the corners of Sydney's lips. "I'm not but I figured if my name was in the story I would let my curiosity abide."

Linda arched an inquisitive eyebrow at her daughter, "Why," she asked curiously, "are you in the paper?"

I looked down at my plate of half eaten pancakes. "Because she saved my life."It wasn't anything new to the table but it was the reason Sydney's name was in the paper.

"Not really," Sydney said, making me look back up. Her eyes were sympathetic. "I helped but the real hero was Adrian. You should of seen him, he dived in without a second thought. Pulled you out in record time too."

I didn't know how to respond to that. This Adrian was an enigma to me. All I knew was that he saved my life and well I'd only ever spoken to him once and it hardly passed as a discussion. He seemed genuinely concerned at the time and not to mention he was kind of cute. I had the feeling I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Sydney wore a look of awe and adoration on her face.

"It seems so strange," Zoe mused quietly, "I mean he's so reckless and all. Never expected him to pull a prince charming."

Sydney and Linda laughed in sync.

A ringtone went off, a song I didn't recognize. "It's Damen," Zoey grinned widely, her cheeks flushing. "Sorry," she corrected herself. "My fiancee," she giggled and walked out of the room with a blackberry in hand.

Linda rolled her eyes at her daughter's playful behavior, "My, my."

I laughed in spite of myself. "When's the wedding?" I asked curiously, and regretted it not a moment sooner, fearing her answer would involve kicking me out of the house.

"At the end of the month," she sighed. "It's going to be here actually. We're having the ceremony in the garden. We'd love for you to come."

My voice got stuck in my throat. "I-I'd love to."

She smiled, her dimples surfaced. "Well I'm off to the hospital. Make yourself at home Roza," she encouraged, picking up her empty plate.

"Uh, thanks. If there's anything I can do...I'd love to help out I mean if there's any chores or..."

She shook her head. "Just get back on your feet," she insisted. "But take it slow and if your memories start coming back make sure to talk about it immediately. It helps."

"Okay, so you're not going to let me do anything?"

She laughed softly. "I think having to jog up your memories is work enough."

I sighed.

"Don't worry," Sydney smiled when her mother left the room. "Once we go shopping you'll be happy you don't have a job around here."

Something in her voice intrigued me. "And why might that be?"

She smirked, her blue eyes sparkled, "You've never been shopping with Zoey."

XxxxXxxxX

Oh boy. I'd never been shopping with Zoey. She dragged me all over the city. Don't get me wrong, she's enthusiastic and outgoing but the girl just didn't know when to stop. For hours she showed me extravagant stores with unfamiliar names. The beginning of our shopping trip things had started off awkward and I didn't blame the two sisters. But as we talked about random things I noticed the tension faded. It was like talking to old friends and I found myself growing more and more anticipated. They were both friendly and kind like their mother. It wad nice to say the least but a part of me was wistful. What if I have a sister? I lamented. For all I knew I had I could have a handful of siblings. I pushed away those thoughts eager to get well acquainted with my new friends. Even if my memories were lost I still had to live. No matter what I may have lost.

I found myself growing fond of the Sage sisters. Zoey and Sydney were both precocious and wise yet they expressed their views differently. Where Zoey was a free spirit who wasn't afraid to shout her mind out to the world her sister Sydney expressed her views just as passionately while still being calm and reserved. I learned a lot about them as we talked and laughed over lunch. Sydney attended brown university and was home for the summer. She was in her second year and her studies included Ancient Greek philosophy. She's even given me a Greek nickname, Letha, although she hadn't explained the story behind it. Sydney was turning twenty one in a couple of months. She's smart and pretty and fierce. Zoey on the other hand is less concerned about school, she goes to Brown as well and wants to achieve a degree in science so she can be a doctor like her mother. She also met a handsome stud—her words, not mine—named Damon. Whenever she talked about him she would blush and stutter adorably. Sydney and I got a kick out of it. She was also stunning beautiful and I wondered of I would actually attend her wedding. Even after an afternoon of shopping she was opening up to me, insisting I buy a dress. It made me both happy and sad; happy because I liked her, sad because an array of reasons. I don't belong in Santa Barbara.

Sydney and I passed out on a bench in front of a large penny fountain.

"Wow. She never gets get tired of it, huh?" I remarked sarcastically as we watched Zoey run through a rack of mini skirts.

"I told you so."

I rolled my eyes, unable to resist a smile. I was playing with the ring on my finger subconsciously when Sydney spoke.

"Can I see that?"

I hesitated briefly before complying. If she chucked it into the fountain the ring wouldn't be the only thing being tossed in the water. I slid the exquisite gold band off my finger.

She looked at it with curiosity and interest. "Roza," she mumbled thoughtfully. "You know I took Russian in high school. Roza translated in English means Rose."

My mouth plopped open, "It sounds so, I don't know how to explain it but it sounds right. Not familiar but right."

She nodded, "Do you prefer Rose than?"

"Does it matter? You call me Letha anyways. And you still haven't told me why that is."

She gave me a side long glance. "I don't think you want to know, Letha."

"There's a lot of things I want to know," I admitted, unexpectedly serious. "But Letha doesn't make the top hundred."

She laughed, though I detected a flash of sympathy in her blue eyes. "A hundred?"

I shrugged, "You'd be surprised that what you don't know can hurt you. Whoever said it the other way around is a fool."

"Here," she said evenly, holding the ring up and dropping in into my palm. "Look," she said in all seriousness, "I know it must be tough not remembering but things can turn around in a heart beat and you know it."

I grimaced, "Why is your family so nice?"

She smiled, it was almost wistful.

"If you told me you'd have to kill me?" I prompted, hiding a smile.

She looked at me and we both bustled out laughing.

"Oh, Letha," she sighed contentedly, "If you only knew."

"Is that a freelance buffet? I asked, my mouth watering at the sight of fried chicken, fries...

She chuckled, "You have a voracious appetite."

"Well are you coming or not?" I asked as I got up.

She rolled her eyes, "I take that bit back. You eat like a pig!"

I gasped in mock horror, "You're a heartbreaker Sage. A real heartbreaker."

She laughed, "Fine, but I'm a vegetarian. Not going anywhere near that infernal chicken."

My jaw dropped and the two of us joked and bantered over her absurd eating habits.

**XxxxXxxxX**

**_Good, bad?_**

**_Do you guys prefer short chapter's daily or long chapters every now and again?_**

**_Adrian's in the next chapter, I was going to add him in this chapter but I prefer writing in third person with him._**

**_If you guys are familiar with facebook, add this page: .com/BloodlinesBooks?ref=ts_**

**_Btw, here's the Eddie Teaser Wednesday Quote: "I don't know if we should say anything." "What? Are you insane? Do you think it's okay to-?" "No, No. I'm not advocating it." (Huh, wonder what Eddie's gotten himself into!)_**

**_If you liked, disliked, think I need to do more work this chapter please tell me! It will help me make this story better!_**

**_So I've narrowed down your suggestions: Little Rose is Adrian's pet name for Roza..._**


	6. Chapter 6

**It's unanimous, short chapters suit me too. Thanks for the reviews, makes me smile like a lovesick school girl.**

**XxxxXxxxX**

**Chapter 6**

Adrian Ivashkov was a hero.

At first he could hardly believe it. He was a misfit party boy, staying out past midnight and getting hammered was his biggest pastime and everyone knew it. He had a flippant attitude that kept people away but it didn't stop anyone from admiring him. Now? His face was on the local news and his name was in the paper. He was praised for being a hero, rendered a god among his crowd of irresponsible friends. Adrian didn't consider himself responsible kind of person. Even at the age of twenty he resumed his old habits of drinking and smoking. He was used to being frowned upon by his elders and worshipped by his fellow peers.

What he was not use to was being praised for saving a mysterious girl's life. Roza. The beautiful girl he'd rescued had shed some light on his life. The funny thing was how surprised everyone was. They whispered yet Adrian always seemed to hear anyways, nothing escaped his keen ears. They wondered how he could have done anything so daring that didn't require cigarettes or a swarm of adoring girls.

He remembered the way he had dived in the water effortlessly. Fearlessly. He didn't know what inclined him to do something so drastic. So valiant. He'd never done such a good deed before. Not that anyone really noticed when he did. Part of it was because of Sydney, he knew that much. She had an influence over him that he couldn't explain. He considered her as a sister. Years ago when Adrian had almost drowned in the ocean, when he'd gone to far, to deep he'd lost himself in the strong current. He was certain he was going to die but then the inexplicable happened. Sydney had dragged him out of the water, saved his life. He'd been fond of his savior ever since.

But she wasn't the reason he had dove into the dark, threatening waves. Something sparked inside of him, caused him to put someone else's life before his own. Something about it felt right to him. Something about saving her satisfied him in ways he couldn't explain.

But being a hero doesn't erase who you really are. It the end, nothing changes.

Adrian pressed his lips to the alluring girl's mouth. She moaned erotically, the sound made Adrian's lust scale increase a hundred percent. Adrian had been drinking. He always took great delight in getting inebriated. But he enjoyed his female company even more. His newfound glory made him harder to resist then usual.

Camilla groaned softly as they kissed harder, with more force and more hunger.

Adrian grinned against her soft lips. Camilla was a couple years younger than him. But her maturity made up for that loss. She had had her eye on Adrian ever since she'd seen his stunningly beautiful face in the paper. She was beguiled by Adrian. Adrian rolled her over so that her back pressed against the cool sand. The pale moon shadowed her features. Her blue eyes were alive and voraciously hungry.

"Lose the shirt," she gasped, running her gentle hands along the hard planes of his smooth chest. Not that she was being gentle in the least. Adrian complied impetuously.

He ran his fingers through her silky blond locks, biting her bottom lip with his teeth. She ardently pressed herself closer to him, leaving no space between their bodies. Her body was slim and smooth the way Adrian liked.

Adrian's hand roamed around her body, his fingers slid down her bare arms, touched the creamy skin at her waist where her shirt had ridden up. More and more articles of clothing began to fall away on the sand beneath them. "You certainly don't waste anytime."

"Take me," she whispered, "Take me Adrian."

Adrian hesitated, the hand on her inner hip stopped moving. He didn't expect things to go this far. He didn't want to take advantage of someone younger than him. No matter how badly his body urged him to concede.

"I'm nineteen," she crooned, softly nibbling his earlobe.

Adrian groaned softly before he stiffened. "I thought you said you were eighteen."

Her eyes sparkled and a slow flush spread across her face. "Does it really matter?" She licked his neck, sucking and nipping away.

Adrian was bewildered. Lying about her age was something he couldn't overlook. She could be fifteen for all he knew. There were only a few lines Adrian wasn't willing to cross, fifteen year old girls were one of them.

"Yes," he sighed, "It matters to me."

He reached around Camilla and grasped his shirt. He pulled it over his head and looked at her slim body in the light shade of the moon with great regret. She was pouting, it made her look much younger than she claimed.

"Please," she whimpered, "Don't. I like you."

Adrian felt the sincere urge to bang his head against the wall.

"Sorry," he said, feeling like a traitor to them both. "We really shouldn't have-"

She pouted again. "You don't mean that. What we have is real!"

Adrian didn't think what they had was real. He wanted to remind her they'd met once and there interlude didn't include many words.

"Sorry," he reiterated uncomfortably unsure of what else he could have added.

She glared at him and he was surprised at her sudden ferocity. "You like me Adrian Ivashkov. I know it, you know it. Just you wait, you'll be crying my name next time."

"There isn't going to be a next time," he replied uneasily. "Do you wanna go back to the party?" He offered, feeling a little guilty.

She pulled her tank top over her head, "Whatever."

Once they reached the campfire they wandered in different directions. Adrian went straight to the keg and poured himself a drink. He swallowed it down in one go.

"Hey."

Adrian turned around, his shock turned to surprise as Sydney walked up to him. She hated bonfires, parties, anything related to the mix. Yet here she was standing before him. She wore a long sleeved shirt and mini shorts. Her hair was tied up in it's usual messy bun. Sparks from the bonfire flew around them in every direction.

"I must be seeing things," he rubbed his eyes for emphasis.

Sydney smirked and promptly punched his right shoulder with her firm fist.

A laugh escaped him, he was always happy to see his friend. No matter how good of a punch she threw.

"That's the way you wanna play it, that's how we'll play," Adrian grinned wryly.

She rolled her crystal blue eyes, and then turned serious. Typical Sagey. "Why is that little blond pixie shooting me death daggers?"

Adrian frowned, following Sydney's perplexed gaze. He caught sight of Camilla as she turned around abruptly and began throwing herself over the closest guy she could.

"I don't think you want the sordid details Sagey."

She shivered imperceptibly. "Anyways," she proclaimed, "I came by with Zoey and Roza so-"

"Roza came?" Adrian prompted curiously.

He remembered the beautiful mysterious girl he'd met briefly in the hospital. She had been to bewildered at the time and reluctant to speak to him but he couldn't help but notice how lost and afraid she seemed. For what it's worth she put up a brave show. He also recalled she didn't remember her own name.

"Yeah," Sydney's eyes roamed the camp fire. "She's around here somewhere. Zoe probably dragged her off."

Adrian didn't have a chance to respond because his flamboyant yet perfectly controlled friend Nate Altobolt stormed up to him. Nate and him had been close friends since preschool. They both came from rich, prestigious families that got together as often as possible. Nate was slightly shorter than Adrian himself, his body was lean with smooth muscles and girls often chased him restlessly. But unlike Adrian, Nate often turned them down.

"Sydney," he smiled, running a hand through his tousled blond hair. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Sydney's cheeks warmed, a slow wonderful blush transformed her usual serious face into something softer.

"Nathaniel," she bit her lip. Adrian recognized it as a nervous habit. It was a rare habit and made him chuckle.

Sydney threw him a quick glare.

He raised his hands in mock sincerity. "You two clearly have some catching up to do. I'll just leave you to it."

Apparently that wasn't the response she was pleading with her eyes for.

"Hey," Nate said as Adrian walked away. "How are you Syd?"

Adrian rolled her eyes. What an opening he thought to himself sardonically. In a way Nate and Sydney were his best friends. Although he didn't see much of Sydney he cared about her and Nate was one of the few people who sincerely liked him, who often saw right through his antics. Adrian glanced over his shoulder. He knew Nate and Sydney liked each other and he certainly wasn't going to get in the way of his friend's happiness.

He made his way over to the keg, his sandals sloshed in the sand soundlessly. That's when he saw her.

Roza.

He'd only really seen her twice in his life. When he had saved her life and when she woke up bemusedly in the hospital. But he'd never seen her like this and his memory of her hadn't served her beautiful face justice.

She wore a white strapless sun dress that ruffled in the night breeze that showed off her long slim legs and arms. Dark brown hair fell around her tan shoulders. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ears, her expression a mix of annoyance and reluctance. In Adrian's eyes she was a goddess. Her beauty was unparalleled. A guy stood in front of her, he was tall with wide shoulders.

Adrian edged closer, he wanted to see the deep brown eyes again.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?"

Adrian recognized the voice of Don Trevor. A flare of animosity went through Adrian, strong and fresh. He and Don use to be friends back in high school. But that was years ago and back then Adrian had discovered how defiled Don really was. He'd almost been to late. Don had been crouching over Zoey Sage's unconscious body, his hands roaming her body. Adrian didn't think he'd ever been so angry in his life. He had beat the crap out of Don and watched over Zoey ever since. Now he had shown his face on Adrian's turf and he was flirting with Roza. Something protective flared inside of Adrian. Zoey's pale face flashed in his mind. The thought of Don even looking at Roza made him furious. But Adrian was a pro at concealing his true feelings. His father had grilled him for years and after a while Adrian realized the only way to make his father just as angry was to play with him. To use his outer sarcasm as a weapon or ignore him altogether. He couldn't ignore this, he thought as he looked at Roza and he sure as hell didn't want to.

"I've gotten that a few times," Roza murmured slyly.

"We should go out some time," Don offered smoothly, "I know this great place down by the dock."

Roza looked like she wanted to escape. Smart girl. Her eyes casted around hopefully. When her dark eyes met mine I had reached her side. Her gaze showed recognition.

"Little rose," Adrian said, containing his raging anger. "Where have you been babe?" He slung an arm carelessly around her shoulder.

She looked up at him and looked like she was ready to tell Adrian where else he could put his arm. Adrian gave her a wry smile and pleaded with her with his eyes for her to go along with it.

"Oh," she said. "Just been talking to Don, honey."

Don who had been terribly talkative before was now as a mute as a mouse. He glared at Adrian, his loathing was like a fresh wave of hate. "Ivashkov."

Adrian grinned hugely. "Don, great to see you buddy. How's Clea? You two still getting naughty over by the docks?"

Don's jaw dropped. "Clea and I broke up," he said, giving Roza a hopeful smile.

"That's to bad," Adrian murmured, the arm slung over Roza's shoulder tightened protectively. "I hear she liked her meat ripe."

Don's ears turned red. "I have things to do," he muttered. "Nice seeing you Roza."

"The pleasure was all mine," Roza said sweetly.

After one last scathingly hot look for Adrian he stormed away.

Adrian dropped his arm and faced the beautiful girl. Her eyes were deep and dark as he remembered.

"Thanks," she said. "I think."

Adrian's earlier fury came to life. "Listen that guy's trouble. Stay away from him at all costs. You don't know what he's capable of."

She blinked. "It's you. I mean, you're the one who pulled me out of the water. Right? I thought it was you," she sighed.

"Yeah," Adrian smiled, he thought her rambling was cute. "It's me. Can I ask you for one thing in return?"

She nodded, "Of course."

"Stay away from Don. He's dangerous."

"Don't worry. We're not in danger of that happening."

"Good," Adrian grinned.

Roza returned it with a soft smile of her own and then her body sagged forward.

"Whoa," Adrian said, grasping her arms as they both came down on their knees.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"You were fine a minute ago." That's when he noticed the half empty cup in her hand. "Who gave you that."

"Don," she moaned, she looked like she was having a hard time focusing on him.

Anger blazed like a flame inside of him. He didn't want to believe had done this but he knew he had. Adrian caught sight of Sydney, she was laughing with Nate.

"Sydney!" He bellowed.

Adrian placed a hand on Roza's cheek. "You're going to be fine Rose."

"No," she murmured, her eyelids drooped.

"It's okay," Adrian encouraged.

"What happened?" Nate and Sydney ran up to them.

Sydney crouched down and placed an arm around Roza. Nate kneeled down as well, confused and bewildered.

"Take. Her. Home."

Adrian's fury went beyond anything he'd ever known.

"Adrian-" Sydney began.

"Take her home!"

The ferocity of his command stunned Sydney. She'd never seen her yell. Hell, no one had ever seen Adrian yell.

Sydney and Nate helped Roza to her feet. Her cheeks were flushed and warm.

"Sydney," she breathed.

"It's okay Letha. We're taking you home."

Adrian didn't watch them go. He didn't hear Roza murmur his name. He was distraught and angry and he was on the verge of killing Don Trevor. He walked through the beach, eyes scanning the perimeter. When he finally found him he had his back to Adrian. He was laughing and flirting with a group of girls. Without hesitating Adrian grasped Don's shoulder so that the corrupt boy would turn around. He did. Adrian's other hand, which was curled into a fist pulled back and then lurched forward into Don's face.

His fist collided with Don's noise and everyone in earshot heard the sickening sound of something crunching. Adrian pulled his hand back, it came away bloody.

"This isn't over Don," he warmed.

Don staggered back, clutching his nose. "What the fuck was that Ivashkov?"

"If you ever go near her again I'll kill you. Do you understand?"

A group of girls had their hands over their mouths in shock.

"Aye bitch. You're going to regret that one."

Adrian stocked away angrily, before he did something he could regret.

**XxxxXxxxX**

**It just kinda happened...**

**Brought in a couple new characters. Okay, fine, I stole Nate from Gossip Girl, it's a show...But he and Sydney are pretty cute.**

**As for Adrian well, don't be so surprised and you guys didn't honestly think Rose & Dimitri were going to get together so soon!**

**That's it, Adrian's nickname for her is Little Rose. Kind of ironic, huh?**

**Please review, make these jitters go away.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews! A lot of people are wondering if this is a Rose and Dimitri story. I don't want to give it away but I will say this much & I think it's a dead giveaway: when Rose hooked up with Adrian in Blood Promise I was heartbroken for Dimitri and honestly, a little scared..**

**Chapter 7**

Roza

"Anything else you want to inform us about?"

Officers and staff workers bustled around the room vast police headquarters room. The unpleasant ringing of telephones went off and the beeping sound of a coffee maker filled my ears. I sat in a brown leather chair with metallic arm wrests. I crossed my arms over my torso conscious of the fact that it attracted attention to pushed up breasts. My eyes were solely focused on the serious gaze of the elderly man before me. Dr. Sage sat beside me, lines of worry etched into her forehead and a grim, taunt expression on her tired, concerned face.

"I told you everything I know," I spoke through gritted teeth.

The officer sighed, dismissing my anger for irrational inquiry. Although I had every right to be seething with profound fury that sort of took my breath away. Last night I had gone to a party with Sydney and Zoey. It had seemed harmless at the time and after a while I had found myself relaxing and talking with a whir will of prancing teenagers and adoring boys. No one necessarily knew I had amnesia because my cover story entailed I was a distant relative of the Sage family. I had been in an almost pensive state whilst watching the black waves crash and fall under the dark sky lit gaze of the sky. So when the seemingly cute guy was desperate for my attention I finally gave in and when he handed me a glass of whatever everyone else was drinking I did not expect to be drugged in the process. It was painfully embarrassing but the dominant emotion I was forced to acknowledge was the hot rage pooling inside of me begging for a sweet, hazardous release.

"Very well," the exasperated officer conceded in a gruff voice. "Don's been charged with third degree abuse and attempted abuse so you can both rest easy. Mrs. Sage can I have a word with you?"

She nodded firmly, "I'll be right back Roza."

I bit my lip to cut off any snappy retorts. For some reason even the sound of my own name sent me into a tunnel of fury. A bitter laugh escaped me, earning me a few disconcerted glances from those surrounding me. It was funny really, a cosmic joke presented by the universe's twisted sense of humor. First I wake up without any recollection and then I get drugged by some tall, blond moron. I tapped the toe of my new sandals against the rocklike ground beneath me. The urge to hit something sprouted inside of me the way a fresh wave of euphoria might cause one to smile.

Dr. Sage returned a few minutes later holding a rolled piece of paper in her hand. She reclaimed her seat beside me and I waited, eerily calm for the bad news. Surely she didn't want to keep me around the house, trouble followed me like the plague. It was useless to even try and pretend otherwise. I was slightly mollified at the pang of sadness that shot through me. With all the anger that consumed I didn't there was room for anything else.

"Roza?" I looked at her concerned aging face and the anger slowly drifted away like a dark intrusive storm cloud. "You don't have to worry about Don, he's already been charged and the police have reasonable doubt that you weren't his first victim. Or his last. But due to your lapse in memory the police and I strongly feel you should be placed in immediate therapy."

I was aghast although not entirely surprised. Therapy was what anyone would expect some amnesiac girl to undergo. But I'm not any girl,

"That won't be necessary," I contorted stiffly.

Dr. Sage half smiled, it was a knowing smile. "Roza I know you want to remember your life. This could really administrate you. Just give it a chance," she pleaded, "That's all I ask."

I groaned, no fair, she of all people was pulling a guilt trip on me. But it was because it was she that was asking, begging really, that I couldn't turn away obstinately and believe me I wanted to. It was because it was her that I couldn't refuse.

"Fine. Whatever."

It's not like I had to be happy about it.

She grinned, "I'm no therapist but a close friend of mine recommends an hour of counseling a day."

An hour? In a stuffy little office with some stupid therapist?

"Fine," I reiterated, and then stubbornly admitted, "Thank you."

XxxxXxxxX

My fists lurched forward colliding with the punching bag in rapid cadence. All my pent up rage, my confusion, my sorrow over losing my memories, almost dying, being drugged by some tall blond moron just came pouring out of me. I hit harder, each time more vehemently, more earnest. I took my anger out on the world, on myself. My heart thundered under my skin, the sound of rapidly pumping blood invaded my ears. God, I want to remember. Everything. My name. My life. I wanted to know who had proclaimed their love to me and engraved it in gold. It wasn't even that I wanted to know. I needed to know, in my heart, in my head.

But I don't know. I don't remember. The frustration and confusion were eating me alive. I slammed my fist in to the punching bag with all my might. But it didn't matter. No matter how hard I pushed and how much I tried to remember I never did.

Except for his face.

It was never solid. I'd dreamt of him for the past two nights, since I'd left the hospital. He was beautiful, so heart wrenchingly beautiful. His long brown locks were like veils of silk. His skin was an exotic shade of tan. His eyes were deep and dark and stunningly beautiful. His body was lean and tall with hard muscles but I never saw more than that. I had no idea what his voice sounded like, or who he was or what he meant to me. Did it matter? Whoever he was probably thought I was dead. The thought send unexpected wave of sorrow through me.

Which inevitably made my turmoil state worse. Anger surged through me as I forced myself to throw stronger hits, harder blows. I lost track of the time, where I was, whoever I was.

"Roza!"

Breathing raggedly I dropped my hands to my sides, bewildered at the sight of purple patches that had been left behind. A drop of perspiration rolled down my forehead. My hair was damp where it touched my face. I pushed aside a few loose strands and sat down on a blue mat, waiting for my heart to slow. Sydney was gawking at me with wide eyes. I realized what a mess I probably seemed like in that moment, breathing haggardly, hands purpled, protruding with specks of blood.

She walked forward hesitantly. "You okay?" She appraised me with her solid blue eyes.

My heart pumped wildly and my muscles ached, not in a bad way but enough to make me lean against the garage wall and examine my toes.

"Roza?"

It had to be record, Sydney calling me by my supposed name twice in one day. She often resorted to her own enigmatic nickname for me, Letha.

"Give me a minute," I panted, looking anywhere but her.

Eventually my heart slowed and the unpleasant sound of blood rushing in my ears quieted.

"Never took you for the battle royal type."

I shrugged. "Hey, it's your punching bag."

A wistful smile crossed her face. "It was my dad's. We didn't want to take it down."

I knew the Sage family had a lost a member, Sydney had lost her dad. "I'm sorry, I mean I should have asked first before-"

"It's fine," she interjected, "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Wish I could say the same about your hands."

I bit my lip, my hands stung painfully.

"C'mon," Sydney prompted, "Let's bandage you up."

I shook my head, "It's fine, really." What I really wanted to say was, I don't need you to take care of me.

She cocked an eyebrow, "Just like Zoey. Always so stubborn."

I snickered, "You didn't get drugged last night."

Her smug expression faltered, "Yeah but I did promise to take you to the summer carnival so wash up and let me fix those hands up."

An unpleasant knot formed in my stomach. "Why are you so nice?" My voice was unexpectedly small. "I mean, not just you but your whole family. Taking me in like this and all. I'm grateful and everything but I don't see what you guys could possibly get out of this."

She stared at me deadpanned and after a moment her lips twitched. "Because no one deserves to lose everything the way you did, Roza."

XxxxXxxxX

Sorry for the long wait…I'm feeling kinda blah lately, you know? I think this chapter's kinda blah too but the next chapter is from Lissa's perspective and we get to see a not so happy side of Dimitri…

In response to the reviews:

- lissaEbelzera3 your review is the longest, nicest review I've ever received, so thank you very much! I read it at four in the morning because I'm a bad sleeper and I was like "really? My eyes are drooping, I'm not going back to sleep after I read this." Lol, but no worries, I read it and all I can say is I don't mind if you want be to be stalkerish of my story. I'm totally flattered.

-Peggy, hey there! Chapter 3 explains what's going on with Dimitri and what happened to Rose. You might of just skimmed over it, which is fine. I do that all the time with other stories. 


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviewing even when the last chapter was painfully boring.

Enjoy.

Chapter 8

Lissa

"He's been out there for days," My voice broke. "I don't know what to do Christain. What do I do?"

I tried to convey my inexplicable desperation with the force of my gaze as I tipped my head up slightly to look at him. The dark blue eyes I loved so much appraised me wistfully. We held each other in a secure embrace, it was like we were afraid to let go, as if the other one might disappear. But no matter how long he held me, no matter how hard he tried to keep me together, she's always there. I can't escape her.

Rose.

My vision clouded with a swarm of hot moisture as I fought desperately to breathe. I buried my face into Christain's chest and felt him press his lips to my head. Seven days ago I had lost her. My best friend, my sister. What was supposed to be a happy day for Christain and I, for our families and friends had turned into the worst day of our lives. When Rose fell into the water my world came crashing down. I didn't want to give up hope that she was out there somewhere. Alive.

The search for her was ongoing but seven days had gone by and there was so sign of her. How could she have survived the dark waves? One area of the ship was covered in scarlet liquid, the area where she had fallen. If anyone could survive that kind of accident it was Rose. But it wasn't an accident at all. Christain's aunt, Tasha Ozera was to blame. Despite her pleads I knew she pushed Rose in the water. She loved Dimitri. They both loved Dimitri. Christain didn't want to believe it and sometimes the pain on his face was more than I could handle.

"I don't think there is anything we can do," Christain murmured against my hair. "He needs time. We all do."

I turned my head, still resting on Christain's solid chest to look out the window. The four of us had were supposed to have an exciting summer. Except Rose was missing now or I couldn't bring myself think it...dead. Dimitri sat out on the dock. The beach was desolate except for the heart wrenching despair that followed him. For days I had taken him meals but he declined over and over again. I was strongly inclined to care of him. Rose would have wanted that. For us to take care of each other.

"I should go check on him. See if he needs anything," I pulled away from Christain and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded and when I let him go I felt weak. Every single part of me. I walked away before I could break down in front of him. I closed the front door behind me and willed myself to go forward. The warm breeze of summer tossed my hair around my face and sent tremors through me but I wasn't cold at all.

My bare feet were soundless against the wooden panels beneath me. His back was to me as he overlooked the ocean. I took a seat beside him and wrapped my arms around myself.  
>I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. After a few minutes of watching the ocean sparkle under the sun I forced the muscles in my jaw to work. But it was he who spoke first and the sound of his voice was startling because it didn't sound like him at all. There was still the soft husky accent but now, there was nothing. No hint of emotion. Lifeless.<p>

"She's gone."

I winced, "We don't-we don't know that. She could have," my voice broke, "she could have been rescued by a ship or-" I hugged my legs closer to my chest. My eyes filled with moisture.

"She's gone."

"No."

"She was always strong Lissa but she was never invincible."

The tears spilled over. "They're still looking for her, she might be-she's alive," my voice shook. "She's Rose. She has to be."

Dimitri's face never changed, he never rose his voice. Everything he said was matter a fact, end of story. He was dead on the inside and a stranger on the outside. Not that I should have expected anything less. Everyone knew he loved her.

"So what?" I whispered. "You're just giving up now? Just like that?"

I felt a sudden strong resentment towards him, I couldn't help it. He was giving up on her. He couldn't...He can't...

"I'm not giving up. If I were to do that she'd never forgive me."

There was a strange bitterness to his voice, one that evidently ran so deep that it stunned me. This was more than just sorrow and grief.

"You don't, you can't honestly blame yourself?" My breath quickened. "Dimitri?"

His hands curled up into tight fists, the only slightest indication that he was angry or even listening to me.

"I was there."

I swallowed, tears blurring my vision as I spoke. "What?"

"Before the rail gave out, before...she fell. I was there."

"I-I know."

His hands unclenched and he held something in his palm, a ring.

"I could of stopped it," tears ran down his face. Light winds made his long brown hair fall over his face. Despite the warmth of the sun and the calm of the ocean I felt cold and afraid.

I never ever thought I'd see him cry. Not once. Not ever.

"I never should have left her there. I was supposed to protect her."

A harsh sob broke out of my chest. "You can't blame yourself!" I surprised myself as I looked at him full on, raising my voice a few octaves. "How could you have known?" I grasped his shoulders and forced him to look at me. But he wouldn't. "This isn't your fault to take. It's Tasha's," I stated coldly, hate surged through me like the blood that ran through my veins. "She did this. She's the only one to blame."

"She's part of it," he agreed but it wasn't enough for me.

He gently untangled my hands from his shoulders and raised himself up. He stood motionless, and the ring in his hand, I realized what it was.

"I was going to ask her to marry me."

He examined the ring with hollow eyes, a torn expression of grief and anger on his face. I watched him silently as he flung the ring into the ocean where it would stay forever. That somehow made me cry harder and I buried my face in my hands and let the grief have me.

My sobs blocked out the sound of his retreating footsteps. My body shook with compulsive whimpers of discontent. A moment later a pair of strong arms enveloped me. I rested my head against Christain's chest, as the scent of his warm skin washed over me.

"I hate her."

I didn't have to elaborate on the 'her.' Christain hated his aunt almost as much as I always would.

XxxxXxxxX

Dimitri

I broke away from Lissa's grief stricken presence. The sound of her broken sobs was unbearable.

Christain walked by me, his face torn between pain and anger.

"Don't leave her alone," I muttered.

He looked like he had a few words of his own to say but pushed forward anyways as I'd hoped he would.

All week I'd been contemplating what had to be done. What I had to do. I stormed in to the beach house, passing the kitchen she'd breathed in, the den we'd watched where we watched movies together but I almost turned around when I reached our room. The room we made loved in. The room we we were supposed to spend our summer in. I could hear sweet breath on my neck, her laugh reverberating on the wall.

She was everything. She was everywhere. Her presence was still with me, haunting me over the truth, the reality that she wasn't there.

I pressed a hand on the door and took a few advancing steps in.

The room was messy and untidy the way she always left things. I strode toward the bed and picked up a soft red shirt she'd left behind. I brought it to my nose and it smelled just like her.

Like Rose.

The shirt got soaked with the moisture running down my face.

I couldn't do this.

Couldn't stay here.

In the last week I'd been building up to it. Getting ready to go.

To say good bye.

I picked up my cell phone and dialed a number I knew by heart. I sat on large white bed in the middle of the room. I buried my feverish face in my hands and waited.

On the second ring she picked up. "Dimka?" A moment of silence passed. "Dimka is that you?"

The sound of my mother's voice soothed me. Brought comfort I was certain I'd never feel again.

"Dimka?"

My voice was gruff and thick with hot tears. "Mama."

"Oh Dimka!" The tears in her voice were hard to mistake. "I'm so sorry baby. When are you coming home?"

Home? Is that where I belonged now?

"I don't know," I said at last. "But if I don't come back you don't have to worry about me Mama."

"Dimka," she exhaled loudly. "I know you're hurting. I know how much you loved her. But you need to come home and be with the people who love you."

"I want to come home," I whispered.

"Yes baby, me too. I want you to home too."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'll be a few hours," I croaked. "It's a long drive."

"Of course," she murmured gently. "I know baby. We're waiting for you."

I ran a hand down my feverishly hot face. "Don't wait for me."

XxxxXxxxX

Kay, so I know a lot of you are wondering why haven't they found each other & is Dimitri looking for her. Well, the fact that Rose survived is a miracle and geographically speaking they're pretty far apart.

Was that chapter alright?


	9. Chapter 9

I'm sorry this chapter took so long! I had writer's block...Thanks for your amazing reviews guys, means a lot. Today's a special day, but you all know that.

~+*+~ CHAPTER NINE ~+*+~

"What good is safety if you're dead inside?" — Sophie Jordan (Firelight)

My fingers curled around my leather bound notebook as I resisted the dark tempting thoughts urging me to cast it aside, or chuck it in the vast ocean blue. Either way was fine with me. For over a week I'd been meeting my therapist, Dr. Olendski in vehement hopes of jogging my memories and the notebook in my grasp was supposed to guide me, in case I remembered anything about, well, me. So far the leathery covered book was empty. I never divulged anything about the hauntingly beautiful man from my dreams. I couldn't explain my reticence about him. Part of me was anxious, afraid even that he might not even be real. The mere thought was depressing.

I slipped off my sandals, rebelling the feel of warm sand on my feet. The sun was setting, the sky was a brilliant contrast to the aphotic waves that would stretch out for eternity. The sound of the hypnotic waves reverberated in my ears, as well as the sweet giggling laughter of a young girl. A little boy with cute boyish features almost knocked into my walking figure as he ran away from the desperate girl chasing him, laughing and making kissing sounds as she ran past me as well.

I watched them, feeling unexpectedly bitter, until they became small points in the distance. My wistful gaze wandered to the dark, bottomless ocean. It was still hard to comprehend that two weeks I had been someone. Now? I was a stranger in my own body.

"Hey!"

I didn't realize the voice was seeking my attention until a tall figure approached my side. I looked up, ready to tell whoever it was to go do something worthwhile with their time except the lone figure by my side wasn't just anyone.

It was Adrian.

I didn't stop walking but I glanced at him curiously. Her eyes were a beautiful emerald green and they held my own. His dark brown hair was met and dripped onto his cute boyish features. His body was strong and lean, dressed in black swim trunks and nothing else. His smooth skin was a tanned, kind of brown olive, like my own, just lighter. Seeing him sent a strange fluttering through me, as well as irritation. I hated to portray a damsel in distress. He and Sydney were responsible for pulling me out of the water, thus, saving my life. Yet, the mysterious boy beside me also saved me from the bad encounter I'd had with Don a week ago.

"Roza, right?"

I slowed to a stop and looked up at his keen expression. "Right. Listen," I took a deep breath, "This is pretty long overdue but, thank you for saving my life."

I truly hated having someone else risk their life for me but that didn't irritation didn't dampen my undying gratitude.

His prime response was to grin and I couldn't help but think what a devious smile he had. It was the kind of smile that said business. Sexy.

"Which time?"

I made a sound between a snort and a laugh. "You think you're funny?"I arched an eyebrow, and would have crossed my arms over my torso expect I was still holding that damn notebook and my sandals. The slight breeze caused my dark long hair to cascade over my shoulders.

There was a mischievous spark in his dark green eyes. "I think I'm adorable."

I pursed my lips thoughtfully as I admired him in an obvious way. I had a feeling as his eyes caressed my face that he was doing the same.

"Well," I said at last, "You keep telling yourself that and maybe someday, someone will believe it."

His earlier grin deepened, "Oh Roza, I have a feeling we're going to get along. Real nice."

"Don't count on it," I said, ignoring the warmth his smooth muscled chest emanated. We stood a couple feet away but apparently it was to close.

He ran a hand through his wet, dark locks of soft brown hair. The muscles in his chest and arms contracted. Oh boy.

"Well maybe that someone, someday will be you."

I laughed incredulously. "You're crazy."

"I prefer creative."

I smirked.

"Go out with me."

"Wow," I laughed again, as his amused yet seemingly serious gaze appraised me. "Don't waste any time now, do you?"

He took a step forward so that we were even more close than before. In that moment I was to surprised to move. Which is what I should have done.

He leaned forward, his breath fanned my ear. "When I saw you that day on the beach," I knew immediately which day he was referring to, when Don had drugged me. His warm breath made me shiver but I wasn't ready, or able to move just yet. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. You're beautiful, not to mention sexy, even your smile. I can't wait to kiss you Roza."

That shocked me out of my brief stupor. I tried to ignore how inviting his soft whisper was. I wasn't oblivious to the heat building between us but I knew what would happen if it were to escalate.

I stepped away. I believed him and there was a part of me that wanted to stay, because if I stayed I'd be doing something reckless, fun. I was surprised how badly I wanted that. To be reckless.

But I couldn't.

The ring on my finger felt heavy all of a sudden. It meant to much, a symbol that someone was out there and they cared. Maybe more than that.

"Sorry handsome," I smiled slyly, "but I'm not interested. As for that kiss...well I hope you have a good imagination."

He licked his lips, but the hunger in his eyes is what sent sent a tingle through my body. "The best."

It took all my will power not to glance-ogle-his finely sculpted chest, again.

He smiled that infuriating grin of his. "I saved your life, you owe me."

I blinked in astonishment. "That's low."

He rocked back on his heels. "I'm not going to take it back."

I sighed, suddenly weary. "Whatever. Makes no difference to me. See you around."

I turned on my heel. No way, I told myself. No way are you admiring this tall handsome guy. No matter how hot he is. He saved your life. Twice. End of story.

He didn't follow me, for which I was grateful for.

"You'll give in eventually," he taunted, "I know how you girls like to play it."

I didn't glance back, though I was sorely tempted to. "Not my type Ivashkov. Not my type."

He didn't respond but the sound of his laughter was answer enough.

I reached the Sage household with little incident, besides my brief encounter with Adrian. I walked the length of the gorgeous, blooming gardens. There was usually someone on the porch waiting for me. Not tonight. I opened the grand door and let myself in. I dropped my sandals on the guest mat and sauntered in quietly. Usually Dr. Sage insisted on family dinner around this time. But to my disappointment the dining table was empty.

The sound of giggling drew me to the spacious living room. The Sage family was firmly invested in a romantic film which I somehow knew was the notebook. Zoey and Dr. Sage were cuddled up on a two seat lush recliner, a bowl of popcorn between then. Sydney sat on the floor in front of them, a granola bar in hand.

They were all giggling.

"No," said the handsome boy on the large screen. "Don't do me any favors.

Allie gaped, "No, no. I want to."

"Yes! Say it."

"I want to go out with you."

"Say it again."

"I want to go out with you!"

"Alright, alright. We'll go out."

I cracked a smile.

"Ah, Noah," Zoey laughed. "You can take me out any day you want."

In response to that sentiment Sydney made a gagging sound in the back of her throat while Dr. Sage laughed softly.

My smile faltered a little. I shouldn't be here, I thought. The three of them were a close knit family. I was afraid taking one step forward might resolve in invading that strong, familiar rapport. You don't belong here, I told myself. Never did, never will.

XxxxXxxxX

Sorry, again for taking so long. Writer's block is a bitch. I'm still iffy about this chapter but I really hope you guys like it.

Review? Yes, please!

I'm getting my copy of Bloodlines next Wednesday! Omg, can't wait!

Feel free to give suggestions and whatnot. I'm craving some creative criticism on my writing. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! 


	10. Chapter 10

~+*+~ CHAPTER 10 ~+*+~

"I'm Roza."

The devastatingly beautiful girl exhales a deep abysmal of breath and her smooth, rose colored lips curve upwards in a wonderful half smile. When the words left her mouth she expected to remember who Roza was. Is. The fleeting smile slips away...Not a memory, not a glimpse, from the past.

She shifts a lock of dark hair behind her ear, fingers grazing her warm bronze skin. "I'm Rose."

Nothing. A bitter tear rolls down my cheek. The trance like stupor shatters into tiny a million pieces. It's pointless trying to remember. The seemingly courageous girl standing in the tall white floor length mirror is a stranger. I assessed myself slowly from head to toe, savoring every inch of my smooth body. Silky brown locks fell down my bare back and framed my face, the tips of my long hair curled up at the ends in natural curls. Dark eyes appraised me wistfully, an epitome of hidden despair.

My slender body was sheathed in an elegant blue summer dress. The thin straps on my shoulders were obscured by my voluminous hair and the bodice hugged me snuggly, a column of tiny blue buttons went down the length and stopped at the feather-light fly away skirt that reached my knees.

I lowered my hand, my blistered fingers grazed the exquisite gold ring hanging from a needle thin string around my neck. For my Roza, I will always love you, those are the words engraved on the shiny gold band. Whoever gave me this ring might have loved me. Might still love me. But more importantly whoever gave me this priceless artifact probably believes I'm dead.

"The river Letha, where the dead go to wash away the memories from their souls...to forget the past."

I'm no longer alone in my mirror's reflection. Sydney leaned against the door frame, a smirk on her crescent shaped lips. So that's where the absurd nickname came from.

"How long have you been standing there?" I turned around and faced her.

She stood before me in a frilly purple dress that reached her knees. The dress was spattered in small pink and purple flowers and somehow managed to bring out the blue in her precocious blue eyes. Her hair sleek blond hair was down for a change and framed her pretty features.

"Not long."

"The river Letha?" I pondered her words quietly, my heart drumming in my chest. "I didn't ask to forget my memories," I spoke with an edge to my voice. I didn't ask for any of this.

She smiled weakly and straightened up. "But in a way, when all you're memories disappear it's kind of like you did die. Ridded your soul of every memory you ever had."

I sighed, my eyes flickered to the mirror. "That was the most depressing chat I've had in a while. What is that? Like Roman philosophy? Because it sucks by the way."

She grinned, a spark in her light eyes. "Greek," she remarked zealously, "Greek mythology."

"Oh," I laughed incredulously, "well sorry I don't share your enthusiasm," I rolled my eyes.

She shrugged one shoulder. "History's in every corner Letha. But right now it's not knowing your own is that what haunts you."

XxxxXxxxX

Lissa

A hint of panic laced his words. "What happened? Are you okay? What are you-oh."

I looked up at him in a daze from the small bathroom floor. The white plastic object in my head trembled slightly. He crouched down so that we were at eye level. Regardless of the proof before him there was a question in his dark blue eyes.

My voice was a low murmur, "I'm pregnant, Christain."

I kept my gaze firmly rested on his shocked one. My answer was all the confirmation he needed because the next thing I knew his hands rested on my shoulders and slid down my arms until they reached my wrists.

"You're pregnant," he whispered.

I shuddered involuntarily and my hand tightened around the narrow object in my curled fingers. I was pregnant...Was this a good thing? A part of Christain lived inside of me now...A slow, delicate smile shifted my lamenting features.

"We're pregnant," a small, happy laugh escaped me. "Christain. We're pregnant."

He laughed, his handsome face came to life with joy. I dropped the pregnancy test, it was the second one I'd taken. Both had resulted positive. His arms reached around for me at the the same moment I buried my face in his chest and wrapped my slender arms around his neck. Despite the grief and sadness that always plagued me I felt like I'd gained a small victory. Christain stroked my hair patiently and I clung to him tighter.

"I love you," I hadn't realized I'd began crying because I was sobbing into his chest.

"Shh," he murmured softly. "I know. I love you, Lissa."

I closed my eyes, hot tears splashed at the corners and ran down my warm cheeks. Oh Rose, I thought, I wish you were here with me.

He pulled me up and brought me to the living room.

"I'm going to get some tea. You're shivering."

I breathed in deeply, to stunned to do anything but smile. Smile and cry and sob. A strange combination, a mixture of profound grief and hope. Hope for something new.

Christain returned a few minutes later. He handed me a cup of hot tea. He was smiling as he stroked my hair behind my ear.

"Are we really doing this?" I whispered. "I mean-We, we're still in college..."

"It's okay. We'll figure it out."

I knew why it was so easy for him to comfort me. How could I go back to school? Rose would be everywhere and nowhere when I needed her.

Christain wrapped an arm around my shoulder and we watched tv silently. While he was flipping through the channels I allowed my mind to wander. A baby. Our baby, I glanced at Christain.

But he wasn't looking at me. His entire body had stiffened. Bewildered and confused I followed his eyes to the television screen.

A scream erupted and it took all my will power to stop.

"Rose."

There on the screen was my best friend, my sister, my other half.

And she was alive.

XxxxXxxxX

I know I rushed this chapter but we all want the reunion scene don't we? At least I think that's what you want...Right? :)

I'm trying so hard to savor Bloodlines & failing miserably. Is anyone else having this problem? Please keep reviews spoiler free. I'm only chapter five. And believe me I want to start where I left off. 


	11. Chapter 11

**I finished Bloodlines in one read, it was breathtaking, after savoring the first few chapters I was to enticed to stop reading. Personally, I think it surpasses Vampire Academy, however I wish there was more romance.**

**Anyways, your reviews were great and I'm sorry for the wait. I'm in the process of moving and will be starting school in a week. Yikes. New school...And finally, I wrote this chapter too many times in hopes of making it 'awesome' and thus conceded with this chapter.**

**Let me know if it's awesome.**

**xXxKittyxXx, I don't mind a long review. :) lissaEbelzera3, you disappeared on me! Thanks for your kind review. I usually get 'update soon' which is good but I like long reviews that go into more detail. I can't tell what people think of the story from 'update soon' lol, not that I mind: a review is a review.**

**Don't skim, important stuff!**

**Enjoy.**

**~+*+~ CHAPTER 11 ~+*+~**

The sky was bright, an endless light blue, time and again the triumphant sun would break free of the clouds, showering the ocean with it's radiance so that every current sparkled. My feather light skirts ruffled in the slight breeze, causing a rift in my long dark hair. I pushed a lock of hair away from my eyes and slid on the pair of shades Sydney had lent me. Crap, I forgot to return them before I left. There wasn't much time in favor of goodbyes. The Sage's had treated me well, brought hope into my world when they had taken me into their grand home. Saying goodbye was harder than I'd ever thought it could be, it might have had something to do with the nerves. As it was my body was on fire with exhilaration, excitement, fear.

I'd been on the dock with my my-care hero Adrian Ivashkov when I'd found out the news. The news that would most likely lead to my salvation. The tiny cell phone Dr. Sage had bought me buzzed in my short's pocket. Adrian and I had somehow ended on the dock, our legs dipped into the water as we watched the sunset. He turned out to be quite the fellow, and though he didn't seem to get enough credit, he had a good heart, not that I ever doubted it. I'd flipped open my new cell phone, Dr. Sage's name had flashed across the screen, shattering the intense electricity building between us.

"Roza, you need to come home. Now." Dr. Sage seemed to be suppressing some really vehement emotions because she was on the verge on popping my eardrums. "The police just called, Roza I know this'll come as a shock but your missing file's report was just verified by a family in Palm Springs, it's a few towns over-"

Whatever else she may have said was drowned by my heavy breathing. My heart was racing to fast, the pressure on my lungs unbearable. Beside me Adrian's cocky demeanor had faded, replaced by an intense concern that was almost as surprising as my life changing phone call. When Dr. Sage had finally stopped, the phone slid out of my hand, and landed with a small thud on the wooden floor beneath me. Too much, I had thought. Too much all at once. There was a family, people friends waiting for me. My pulse ratcheted, I should have been ecstatic. I wasn't. For the first time since my big scare whilst waking up in the hospital, I was afraid. Truly afraid of not knowing whatever was coming my way. Adrian frowned.

"Ro-"

I didn't answer. I reached up so that my arms were wrapped around his neck and pulled his face down, barely acknowledging the look of surprise on his handsome face and tipped my head up. Our lips crashed together, at first he seemed reluctant, later I had to pin that on the surprise but then his strong hands slid up the bare of my arms and his fingers ran through my hair. The kiss was hot and undeniably amazing.

And it also made me forget, really forget this time, everything I knew.

As if seeming to realize this at the same time, the reasons behind my thoughtless actions, he pulled his hands out of my silky hair and disentangled my arms from around his neck. He turned his head to one side, leaving me to breathe softly against his smooth cheek.

I felt a stupid grin light up my face. "Didn't know you had it in you, Ivashkov. Thought you were just bluffing."

"Is that so?" I could hear the smile in his voice, "I wish I could take the credit for that one, little rose but I'm afraid this one's all yours."

I laughed breathlessly. "You did okay to me."

"Okay?" He scoffed.

I leaned back and he turned his head back. Our eyes met and I was shocked by the tender adoration in his deep bottomless green ones.

"I have to go."

He smiled wryly, as if expecting that. "I know, I heard most of that," he said, eerily amused. "Let me walk you home."

I nodded, my chest heaved and I let out a deep breath.

"Rose?"

I blinked, and looked up at Officer Petrov, a look of genuine concern masked her features. Light mist from the bottom of the speed boat sprayed me. The long boat ride had lasted two hours and apparently there was still quite a ways to go. Officer Petrov and the driver were responsible for returning me home and keeping me away from the greedy press.

"Are we almost there?" I asked reverently.

She nodded, "Looks like it," she presumed simply.

A flare of excitement jolted through me, excitement and nervous anxiety. Flustered, I barely nodded. As if reading the distress on my face she smiled encouragingly.

"They'll be happy to have you back."

Something strong surged through me again, only this time I didn't know what it was. The minutes after that seemed to stretch on to forever but at last they came to an end.

An alignment of houses came in to view, civilization. My anxiety grew apparently because I couldn't seem to stop cracking wise ass jokes. God, I probably sounded like Adrian.

"We're here," Officer Petrov announced.

I shivered despite the heat. "Home sweet home," I murmured, my heart lurched as we neared the docks.

The sun was still high in the air and plenty of boats raced past us. However, the docks were oddly vacant, all except for an officer, two women and a tall man. At first I thought they were just bystanders but no...There was something...Something there...

I inspected them more closely, as the boat I sat on came to a halt. One of the two women, her expression was what shocked me into silence. Tears streamed down her pale snow cheeks. Sleek blond hair cascaded down back and framed her face, there was so much emotion there, pain, longing, happiness. The other woman had a mass of bright red hair and there was protective edge to her stance that seemed oddly familiar. The man at their side was holding on to the blond woman, his dark black hair and lean body were his dominant features. My gaze returned to the blond girl.

"Lissa."

I blinked, as if not believing what I'd just proclaimed. "Lissa," a smile broke across my face and I was laughing. I had no idea who this mysterious girl was but I knew her name, I just knew.

I jumped out of my seat after fumbling with my seatbelt and climbed out of the boat. The four on the boat rushed forward.

"Rose!"

I swallowed.

The three I'd inspected earlier were suddenly in front of me. They were all plainly shocked and for a moment I toyed with the idea of saying something like 'told you I'd come back and haunt your asses' or 'Guess again?' Rather than embarrass myself with both openings I forced my legs forward in time to meet there quick strides.

It turned out there was no time for words though because two pairs of strong arms engulfed me. The blond girl, who I suspected was Lissa was sobbing wildly into my chest and the red haired female who looked old enough to be my mom but still exquisitely beautiful cried as well. There strong holds guaranteed death but I was too shocked to say anything. To further my bewilderment there were tears building up in my eyes and under less than a minute they had spilled over.

"Oh god, Rose," the red-haired female choked on a sob, her embrace was oddly warm, oddly comforting. I could pick out every emotion on her face, pain, sorrow, relief. "We thought you were-"

Her grief pained me and I wanted more than anything I found myself wanting desperately to take that deep misery away. "It's okay," I said immediately, hoping to comfort her, "I'm okay." She hugged me tightly, for a long time.

They're grip was tight enough to make me gasp for air but at the same time I was hugging them back, crying and confused.

The blond haired girl tightened her grip around my neck. "Rose," she cried, the tears ran down her face relentlessly. "It's you. It's really you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You're Lissa, right?" I coaxed gently.

Jade green eyes appraised me, a mixture of elation and despair in those bottomless depths. My death had been hard on them.

"That's right," she murmured, "You don't remember. Of course you don't. But," a shred of hope came into her eyes. "You remember my name. You remember me."

I nodded slowly. "I want to remember," I whisper.

Through all the tears and sobs I realized I really had no idea who these agonized people were.

The boy whom I noticed earlier stepped forward and gave me a timid smile before crushing me in a bone deep embrace.

"I can't believe it," he grinned triumphantly. "I should of known," he mused, his eyes were dark blue. "That nothing keeps you down for long."

Lissa's eyes flashed and she punched his shoulder. It was clear the two loved each other. It was written all over his face and before she'd attacked me with hugs she'd held on to him just as strongly.

I smiled through the tears and looked away, trying to control my endless swarm of emotions.

That's when I see him.

Dark brown eyes, chin length brown hair, prominent cheek bones, perfect crescent shaped lips. The sculpted body of a Greek god.

The beautiful man from my dreams.

My soulmate.

XxxxXxxxX

You think I'm terrible? Have you seen Richelle Mead's cliffhangers? Well, obviously, aha. I've got a day to blow, so look forward to an update later tonight.

Review, review, review!

What do you guys think their reunion should be like?


	12. Chapter 12

_Turn on your sad music..._

~+*+~ CHAPTER 12 ~+*+~

Something warm and wonderful made my breath catch. In those few precious minutes time gave away, the calm ocean melody faded, the heat and radiance from the sun became a glimmer of light. The extraordinary look in his eyes was everything, the sky, the clouds, the ocean and sun combined. My dreams hadn't done him justice. Beautiful, I thought, so beautiful. I hadn't even realized I'd been in motion because suddenly I was just out of arm's reach. My heart was drawn to this beautiful stranger, my soul was drawn to him.

And I was truly, inexplicably afraid.

My breathing grew ragged as a fear so deep, so strong made my lips tremble. How could I love someone like I knew I loved the man in front of me. How could I feel so drawn to anyone after losing my mind? My memories were lost to me. But not my heart. No, I shuddered, my heart was here, closer than I ever thought possible. That was the real truth behind my inmost terror. I loved him, even while home away from home.

He stared at me.

There was fear in his eyes, mingled with a world of disbelief and an almost reverent sense of awe. It was like living in a dream, that's what it felt like as his dark exquisite eyes stayed solely on mine. I wasn't sure what I wanted. My fingers itches to touch his cheek, caress the fine plains of his face. But fear held me back, different from before. I worried touching him would shatter the allusion of beauty before me, along with my self control. I raised a hand hesitantly, and dropped it promptly. I was content, as was he, to just see.

It seemed like an eternity before he spoke and when he did the sound of his deep, low voice filled me with wonder and awe. His words were eloquent, laced with the slightest Russian accent.

"It can't be," he said, swallowing nervously. "Rose?"

To stunned to respond I let my inhibitions go, raising a hand so that I palmed his cheek. His chest heaved, and I knew his heart was beating just as hard and fast as mine was. A drop of moisture landed on my hand, from where the tears ran down his face. My heart ached with a grief that took my breath away because his grief was to much to bear. I shared his pain, it belonged to me now too. I wanted desperately, more than anything, to take that hurt away from him.

"It's okay," I told him, my thumb stroked his cheek tenderly. Our eyes never left each other's, never wavered. "I remember you," I breathed. The words hurt coming out. "I dreamt of you."

I caressed the tears away with my fingers and waited patiently for him. I hoped he would say something, anything.

He did.

My name. He repeated it softly, at first so quietly I could barely make it out, like a prayer, over and over again. He looked so lost, there was a haunted look in his eyes that broke my heart. He reiterated my name, as if saying them enough would make it real. Make me real, alive.

The longing and deep aching sadness inside of me evoked a soft sob from me and a bit of the trance like state left his wistful eyes in response.

And then I was in the circle of his arms, his embrace was warm and comforting and felt right, bringing me the sweetest bliss in the world. I buried my face in his neck, soaking the edge of his collar with tears. His arms were strong, protective and made me feel incredibly safe.

"Roza," he whimpered, his sweet scent enveloped up me the way his secure arms encircled me. His hold was tight and I even had a little trouble breathing but I pressed myself close to him regardless. I would gladly die in his arms.

To my horror he pulled away, but only to take my face in his gentle hands. We were still oh, so close. Mine, I thought, shocking myself, all mine.

"I love you." He leaned down, making my heart contract. His lips touched my cheek, "I love you, Rose," he kissed the edge of my jaw, my nose, the other side of my face. "I love you."

I exhaled a gust of air. He leaned his head against mine. He uttered my name, again, and again.

I closed my eyes. Oh god, I shivered, despite the heat.

He must have sensed the change in me because he tiled my chin up and waited patiently for me to return.

I bit my lip, eyes still closed I opened my mind to him. "Your name," I clutched the edge of his collar with my hands. "Please. Your name."

I didn't know how I expected him to react, I just knew I liked it because his sweet, wonderful laughter filled my ears, and the pure earnest in his eyes made me feel on top of the world.

I felt my lips turn up at the corners.

Still watching me closely his fingers traced the shape of my lips slowly, sending a jolt of electricity through me, and for a moment I wondered what it would be like to feel his lips pressed against mine.

"God," he whispered, regarding me with wonder. "Your smile, Rose. How could I have ever gone by a day without it?" He seemed to be talking to himself mostly so I stayed quiet, not that I knew how to respond.

"Your name," I whispered, "Tell me."

"You know."

I shook my head slowly. His eyes never left my face, it was like he was memorizing the plains of my face. I could feel the wonder in his dark beautiful eyes mirrored in my own. "I can't," I looked away, my gaze wandered to the ocean before returning to him.

"Dimitri," his sweet breath fanned my face, momentarily stunning me. More than usual.

I breathed a silent sigh of relief, "Dimitri," I whispered, tasting the name with my tongue. Dimitri.

It was perfect.

"Rose?"

The sound of Lissa's melodic voice snapped me out of my revolve and I realized, with a stab of embarrassment, I really had lost track of the world because I'd lost sight of the others altogether.

I slipped my hand into Dimitri's, silently pleading with my eyes for him to stay. His hand tightened in mine, soft and warm and wonderful in mine.

I turned to my side and Lissa huddled against my side, her arm slid around my waist. I tore my gaze away from Dimitri. Tears filled my eyes.

The red haired female and the amusing chum joined us and hugged me.

Dimitri's hand tightened in mine.

XxxxXxxxX

I realize that was totally sappy but if anyone cried, well, that makes me happy because that's saying something about my writing, right? Lol, thanks for your reviews! They made me smile.

Sorry it was so short but I told you guys I would update tonight so, I hope the content in this chapter makes up for the length. & two updates in one day so…If that's not commitment than I don't know what it…

I'll get started on the next chapter, reviews would really encourage me! :)

Please let me know your thoughts!


	13. Chapter 13

**This is Rose's past. Part I of II. Originally it was going to be one chapter but it got to be to long so…**

~+*+~ CHAPTER 13 ~+*+~

Four years ago.

Janine Hathaway had gone scary calm.

It was unforeseeable.

In all my sixteen years of living under my mother's pristine roof I knew this reaction was a seldom occurrence. So I wasn't prepared to feel unnerved. And I sure as hell wasn't ready to let it show. I crossed my arms over my torso, not caring how childish the act was and cooled my expression into one appearing to be attentive. Which even I had to admit was hard to do when recovering from the harmful effects of last night's drinking game. My head pounded furiously and the unpleasant glare of sunlight seeping through the intricate styled windows wasn't helping matters any either.

"I can't do this anymore, Rose."

Oddly enough the palpable tone of disappointment that masked her voice was the chink in my armor. I starred at her, more surprised than anything else. She was supposed to yell when I did something stupid, lay down the law... I was so accustomed to her fierce authority that this new reserved Janine left me hopelessly uncertain.

"What are you saying?" I asked cautiously, a tinge of anxiety crept into my voice.

"That I can no longer tolerate your obscenities under my roof. I'm sending you to live with your father in Palm Springs."

"I...What?...No."

Momentarily stunned by this admission I'd dropped all my vices on the sidelines. Of all the things I'd expected to go wrong today being disowned and shipped off to live with my work obsessed father had never even been an alternative. Hell, the thought never even crossed my mind. Montana is my home, I'd grown up here, made close alliances. I belong here beyond a shadow of doubt. Not that Palm Springs didn't hold it's own appeal. Warm beaches and tans were my all time specialty but...It never snows there...I love snow...

"Maybe your dad will be a good influence on you. Mine obviously isn't. Who knows? A new city will be good for you. It gives you a chance to get away from your past, away from him."

Vehement fury made me stand up for myself. I jumped up, not a good move considering my aching head. For a moment the world swam before me. I swallowed. "You can't do this! I haven't done anything wrong."

Burning outrage filled me then because she laughed, not completely devoid of humor either. "Rose," I hated how unpleasant my name tasted on her tongue. "Staying out late drinking and coming home every morning stoned does not constitute as good behavior."

I read the true reality in her stern features. This was no joke. I was really being reprioritized. Her eyes were undoubtedly determined as we stared each other down. I could have plead my case. I should have told her the truth right then. My rebellious streak was hardly worth bragging over but things had certainly taken a turn for the worst when my sort of boyfriend, Mason Ashford had sacrificed his life.

To save mine.

Two months ago Mason and I had shown up at a party, the both of us were hardcore stoned and had treated ourselves to a few drinks. I didn't remember much from that fateful night, the details were blurry but I did remember the crazy stranger leaning over my body, trying to pull down the zipper on my jeans, at what point Mason had shown up. The teenage boy who was undoubtedly going to rape pulled out a knife, shoving the shiny metallic object into Mason's heart.

I hadn't realized there were tears brimming in my eyes and when I did I suddenly felt very, very vulnerable. "Don't do this. I promise-I, I'll change. I can...Please."

I could see in her eyes that she hadn't expected for things to turn out this way, me on the verge of tears, pleading...But she was adamant in her beliefs and if that meant sending me off to the old man than there was nothing I could do.

"Mom," I murmured, there was nothing more rare than me admitting to the fact that she and I were related. I hardly ever addressed her by her true title.

For just a moment I saw her ponder the idea of me staying but it was gone to soon. That remnant of regret was replaced by a stern, unsympathetic expression.

"I'm sorry, Rose. It's time to start taking responsibility. I kept you around this long because I wanted to keep you safe but that's proven impossible. I just don't see what other option we have left."

I jerked upright, furious all over again. "We?" I scoffed. "Funny, I don't remember having a say in any of this!"

"Words don't justify your actions. You're moving to Palm Springs and that's final."

"No," I said grimly. "You can't do this."

"What?" She snapped. Finally. "Be your mother? That's never going to stop, Rose. Get used to it."

I would probably live to regret the next words that came put of my mouth for a long, long time. I couldn't help it. I wanted her to hurt just as badly as I felt. "You were never my mother. I. Hate. You."

I saw it break then, that cool, collected facade of hers. She'd never expected me to say that, but more importantly I'd never expected to mean them. But she was Janine Hathaway and nothing touched her. At least not for long.

"One day you'll understand. I'm doing this for you."

XxxxXxxxX

I wrapped my arms around myself, a futile attempt at chasing away the chill. Trudging forward through the downpour of snow and the unpleasant cold I stopped when I reached his grave. Relieved no one else was there I sunk to the snow covered ground. My long dark hair flanked my frozen cheeks, occasionally flying over my face and obscuring my vision. Reaching out, I brushed the sheen of snow away from Mason's headstone, revealing his name.

Precious memories of Mason Ashford  
>A loving son, brother, and friend<br>Born May 2, 1993  
>Died July 22, 2006<br>Always rest in peace

I let out a shaky breath, lips trembling slightly, from the cold or the nerves, I couldn't say. I thought about all the times I'd kissed Mason, imagined his enthusiastic grin and kind blue eyes. His zealous personality and easy friendship had always been a constant in my life. And it was all my fault.

I was the one who drank, the one who went out late and partied and been reckless. Not Mason. Ever since that night, since his death, I began having my doubts, that he was ever inebriated at all. He was always looking out for me.

And now he's gone, I thought bitterly, an unpleasant ache in my chest. I opened my mouth to say something. What? Anything. But the only thing that escaped me was a puff of my own foggy breath.

Instead I just sat there, snow falling around me, immune to the cold, lost in my own trance. I wondered if I had loved Mason. I loved spending time with him but did I love him? Did it matter? I did know one thing, Mason was crazy about me and I wished he wasn't.

I wish he was here with me, alive and my heart ached knowing I'd never hear his amusing laughter or that sincere, happy smile.

"Bye Mase," I whispered.

XxxxXxxxX

The flight to Palm Springs went by faster than I had expected. I slept through most of it and was surprised when one of the flight attendants touch my shoulder gently, jolting me awake.

Abe was waiting for me, which came as quite the shock. As a hotshot lawyer he worked ridiculously long hours. In the few summers I'd visited him he'd often been absent. But when he did make for our father daughter bonding I found I always had a good time. I felt my lips form into a smile as I walked towards him through a crowd of people. He was dressed in one of his tan suits, a colorful scarf was tied around his neck. Leave it to Abe to pull off that look.

"Hey old man," I greeted dryly as he grinned mischievously

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, giving me a quick, yet affectionate squeeze.

"Ah," he sighed warily. "My daughter. Home at last. Seventeen, am I correct?"

He helped me carry my bags toward his fancy BMW.

"In a couple months," I announced, shuffling through a swarm of bodies. "How nice of you to keep tract," I said, sarcasm thick in my words.

"Nothing a new car can't make up for, right?"

I gave him a dubious look. "Here less than five minutes and your already bribing me with fancy toys. But yes, the car's a great start."

He chuckled humorously. "Ah, Rose. I don't think your mother would approve."

The mention of Janine Hathaway brought a scowl to my face. "What you don't know can't hurt you," I announced primly.

Abe shook his head bemused. He had moved to Palm Springs years ago after the divorce. Janine couldn't handle the long working hours which eventually led to the end of their bumpy marriage.

He insisted on loading my bags in the trunk of his car and motioned for me to take a seat. I was tempted to sit in the driver's seat. Maybe that would teach him for messing with Rose Hathaway. But I opted for shot gun and watched the world fly by me. Palm Springs was actually quite beautiful, gorgeous beaches and stunning architectural houses. Abe's home among them. I'd only vacationed in his grand mansion a few times, usually in the summer. Why he needed such a big, elaborate mansion sized home, the answer evaded me.

Instead of returning to the room I often bunked in Abe allowed me to live in the pool house, however that illustrious gift came with strings attached.

"No parties. No alcohol, drugs. No boys under my roof-"

I was about to interject that technically the pool house and main house weren't attached but he went on adamantly.

"You can invite friends over but we both know you shouldn't be getting in to trouble. You can start a new life here, Rose. Think of this as an opportunity."

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled distractedly, pleased at having my own place.

"I have to go to the office but feel free to make yourself at home."

I nodded, "Wait!"

Abe might be demanding sometimes but he wasn't strict the way my mother was. It was refreshing.

"Thanks, I-" he stared at me curiously. "I appreciate it, you taking me in."

The bewildered look disappeared, replaced by a fond smile.

XxxxXxxxX

I had no idea what I wanted to wear and I didn't have much time to spare according to the annoying little clock on my nightstand. I performed a pirouette, my white floral dress spun with me. The dress was dazzling and casual and comfortable. The thin cotton cotton material consisted of two layers, the bottoms were covered in an array of dark flowers. I decided to wear a flimsy cardigan on top. My dark brown hair fell down my shoulder in effortless curls and waves. I had to admit I looked cute. The only problem was I didn't do cute. I did casual, sexy. I stripped down to my undergarments and gave it another go. This time I ended up in a pair of dark shorts, with stylish rips and a strapless red top that clung to my body.

I sighed contentedly.

And then something changed. For a moment everything dropped away, my new amazing room, my hot outfit, everything faded except for the anguish in my dark eyes.

"Whoa-whoa! Where are you going dressed like that?"

I bumped into my father in the kitchen. Damn.

"School," I smiled innocently, I trudged over to the fridge, heedless of his reply. "Where's the bacon?" I asked curiously, searching every corner of the fridge.

Abe sighed warily. "Kiz."

To my relief there was bacon. Regardless of how unhealthy it was, I loved it.

Abe drove me to school, we bantered effortlessly but my mood soured as we approached the front entrance to my new hell hole. Although I had to admit it was pristine and spacious. I noticed a few admirable gazes follow me and suddenly regretted the red ensemble. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference, but I wasn't sure I liked being the centre of attention. I use to crave that light of adoration but not now. I found myself strongly nostalgic for Montana, for Mason.

"Break a leg," Abe patted my shoulder, as I stared with palpable disgust at my timetable.

I spared him a dry glance. "Thanks for the vote of confidence," I muttered.

His only response was an amused laugh as he walked away, leaving me to endure this nightmare solo. I snatched my timetable in my hands roughly and walked to my first class.

I was late, not like I could help it but my teacher Mr. Alto and I definitely got off on a bad note.

He smiled in a not so obviously unfriendly manner. "Ah, and who might you be?"

I handed him my slip, he looked at it calculatingly.

"Rose Hathaway," I tried not cringe under all those imploring stares.

"Interesting," he didn't say interesting in a nice way. "And what brings you to AP biology Miss Hathaway?"

I crossed my arms, annoyed at him for making me stand in front of the class and feeling completely humiliated. "Parental mishap."

This elicited a few chuckles. Stan narrowed his eyes and I picked up on the mutual hate. Oh, what a great start to my day. He sentenced me to the only spare seat in the back. I turned away hastily, dropping my bag on the floor beside my desk.

Though I already hated Mr. Alto I was relieved no one took too much notice of me because of his strict demeanor. Nonetheless I couldn't help but feel like a trapped bird in an ugly cage. I didn't want to be here. I belong in Montana.

"Don't mind him," a daring voice said, "He's like that with everyone."

I chanced a glance at this endearing speaker when Mr. Dickface turned towards the board. A girl with soft innocent features, long sleek blond hair cascaded down her slim shoulders. Her eyes were a fascinating jade green that seemed just right for her. I wasn't sure why but I couldn't help but think how pure heart she seemed, just from looking at her.

"God, I hope not. When's the last time this flunk got laid?"

Her lips twitched, fighting a smile. "I'm Lissa. Lissa Dragomir. I haven't seen you around here much."

"I just moved here, from Montana," I divulged quietly, a few of my peers looked at me curiously, I glared at them.

Lissa didn't look taken about by my animosity towards the others. "You should come sit with me and some friends at lunch," she told me.

I forced a smile, not altogether comfortable. "Sure. I'd like that."

Mr. Dickface chose to turn around at that moment.

"Do you have something to share with the rest of the class Miss Hathaway?"

I suppressed a groan. "Depends. When is this class over?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Twenty minutes longer for you," he announced. "You have a detention after school with me," he looked please with my look of bewilderment. "This should go as warning for the rest of you. This is an academic class. I will not tolerate lackeys."

I bit my lip on a burning retort. I had a feeling he wouldn't hesitate to stretch out that twenty minutes. I contented myself with the image of maiming him for the rest of the class.

"Moving on," he said. "You'll each be partnered together by my prerogative and you'll have a seven week duration to complete the seminar on a historical scientific figure. It's worth half of your grade. Be prudent and be sure to charm your peers with your projects."

"Isn't me standing up there charm enough?" I muttered.

From my peripheral Lissa rolled her eyes.

Mr. Dickface face began pulling names out of a hat. I wouldn't have minded being paired with Lissa.

"Jesse Zeklos and Ralph Drozkov," this was met by a cheer of inexplicable cohorts.

"Mia Rinaldi and Lissa Dragomir."

Beside me Lissa noticeably stiffened, I cut her a curious glance. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but a second later my name was called.

"Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov."

A couple of the girls in the room glared at me. Whoa, I hoped they enjoyed their bitch cereal this morning. I wasn't sure who this Dimitri was, nor did I really care.

"You okay, Lissa?"

She shook her head, and smiled but it seemed forced. "It's nothing."

I didn't know what else I could have said. She didn't need me to console her.

"You sure?" I said, anyways, oddly distraught at seeing someone who seemed so pure of heart dismayed. Lissa's innocence shined through her soft green eyes. "I took martial arts as an elective in Montana. If you need me to hassle this chick just say the word."

This caused her to freeze up, only for a second before she bustled out in quiet, chiming laughter.

"Tempting," she grinned, "but nothing keeps Rinaldi down for long."

I was about to tell her anyone who crossed my radar never gets back up but I was interrupted by a smooth, deep voice, with the slightest Russian accent.

"Rose Hathaway?"

I glanced away from Lissa, who still looked torn between amusement and discomfort. A few desks were shuffled as people partnered up.

I looked up at the sound of his voice.

For a moment I all thought and reason left my head. There was something exotic and enticing about this young stranger. His dark brown eyes were serious, and held a lot of depth. Dark brown hair framed his face, which was all hard planed by the way and his tan skin was the perfect home. Don't even get me started on his body, he wasn't bulky or anything but the hard, lean muscles of his chest and arms were noticeable through the thin fabric of his shirt.

He extended a hand, "Dimitri Belikov," he introduced himself formally.

I shook his hand, it was strong and warm in mine and not altogether unpleasant. I suddenly understood the macabre looks I had received only moments earlier. Who wouldn't want to be partnered with a Russian heartthrob?

The bell rang, shocking me out of my bizarre trance.

He offered a brief smile, which I ate up. "Nice to meet you, Rose."

After he left I gathered my books up, chagrined at those last precious minutes. So what? I thought, I didn't need to drool over every guy I thought was pure, hot incarnate.

And boy was he ever.

XxxxXxxxX

My second class, a mixed leveled math went be without incident, though I could tell I wasn't getting in well with the teachers here. Sleeping and watching the clock were unavoidable with me, part of the package. Lunch went by idly, I noticed Lissa peaking glances at a group across from us. A boy with jet black hair and intense blue eyes caught my eye. I wondered if this was who Lissa was making love to with her eyes.

"Who's that?" I asked, cautiously biting down on a slice of pizza.

Lissa blushed at being caught in the act. "No one."

I grinned amusedly, "Oh, c'mon. He doesn't look like 'no one' to me."

She looked at me, gaze serious. I think she was gauging to see if she could trust me. She hesitated briefly, "Christain Ozera."

"Ah," I studied him thoughtfully. "Are you guys-"

"No! No," she gushed, embarrassed by the prospect,"It's not like that," I caught the wistful note in her voice.

"You should ask him out," I said, "How could he say no to someone like you?"

She blushed again. "He goes through a lot of girls. I don't think I reach his standards."

I gave her a dubious look. "Lissa. That's the first most stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."

She pursed her lips, watching me with a thoughtful expression. "It's not that simple," she denounced.

"It never is," I said, my gaze wandered to the cafeteria line. Dimitri was there, and he wasn't alone.

He held hands with a stunning girl, her skin was a creamy white, long black hair cascaded down her back. To sum it up, she was pretty. Really pretty.

"Does he go through a lot of girls too?" I asked, Lissa followed my gaze. "Belikov?"

"Huh?" She laughed. "Dimitri Belikov? No way. He doesn't date, at least not any of the girls here. That girl, her name's Tasha Ozera. The two of them have been best friends since forever."

Dimitri smiled down at the stunning girl affectionately. I looked back at Lissa. "Ozera?"

"She's Christain's aunt," she shrugged.

"Oh."

One of Lissa's friends, Natalie, I think, changed the subject and suddenly there was no more talk of cute Ozera's and Dimitri Belikov's.

But sometimes my gaze would find Dimitri and to make matters worse it wasn't easy to look away.

**XxxxXxxxX**

**I know Palm Springs and Sabta Barbra are like really far apart but I need to use familiar names, otherwise I forget about them. Technically both places are in California...**

**I'm really nervous about this chapter so please tell me what you thought. I have so many ideas for part 2! There will be lots of Rose&Dimitri&Tasha drama! Squeal***

**It feels like forever since I've updated, and sadly that is the case here. There are so many reasons for this; I just enrolled at a new school for my last year of high school. It sucks and I've been moping solo about it lately. I've also just moved from a great distance and in a few short weeks I'm moving again! Don't worry, I'm not a fugitive on the run. But I am human and I have freakin writer's block, lol. It's really quite awful accompanied by my sour mood. Regardless of all that I owe you all a huge apology and I'm really sorry. I'll update when I can but I really need your encouragement right now, especially considering I've abandoned my other three stories...I won't abandon this one, or publish this new idea I've got but I really appreciate your reviews. I don't even feel like writing anymore...**

**Sorry for making you all wait, and Sarah I feel bad you have to wait for updates like the rest but I promise to update at least once a week. Updates are usually worth the wait but that doesn't mean we have to like it, right? Alkerr, will you update already? I'm a fan of her story 'Who Knew?'**

**Anyways...Hoped you liked this chapter.**

**Please review, I would really appreciate the motivation right now.**


	14. Chapter 14

Hmm.

1. I haven't updated in a month and a half though. Although it feels a lot longer.

2. I'm focusing on getting into University this year so I feel I don't deserve to write until my grades are high enough.

3. This chapter was infuriating. I didn't know where to start. Rose and Dimitri don't belong in Palm Springs, so that made it especially hard.

4. I decided to combine whatever I had for this chapter and publish. It's not much but I want to continue the story.

5. Lastly, geez, should have put this first. I'm really, from the bottom of my heart, SORRY :( I promised weekly updates! Anyways I'm going to get started on the next chapter.

Part II

~+*+~ CHAPTER 14 ~+*+~

"No!" I cried. "Leave him alone!"

I staggered forward, my movements lethargic and ungraceful from the myriad intoxicates I'd subjected myself to tonight. My surroundings tilted a fraction in an unreliable angle, the torn blouse I wore moments ago lay in shreds on the floor beneath my feet. I used one unsteady hand to brace myself against the wall. Barely managing to stay upright I met Mason's bright blue eyes, eyes that were usually so vibrant and revitalized with life. But not this time, they were full of cause, one fueled by fierce, deep hatred.

His opponent-a boy whose name I couldn't even remember, who had leaned over my body in a proprietary way-lost his footing as Mason swung his fist into his face. I should have gone to get help.

"Mason!" My stomach dropped, the pain in my head was taking precedence. Everything was blurred out of focus, time and space were uncertain. "Mason, stop!"

But he just kept shoving, hitting the other boy ruthlessly. Mason's blows were fast, to fast, precise.

The other gangly boy protruded an object from his pocket, a movement Mason and I hadn't noticed because a knife shown in the dark room. Before either of us could truly react the hand holding the small silver weapon wrenched forward.

Mason's eyes flew wide open with surprise, with pain, as they met my own across the room, the distance between us stretched on to forever.

I sat up, gasping. My heart felt like it was breaking and I was very near the precipice of crying. I waited patiently for my breathing to slow, for my world to come back in focus. I rubbed the sleep away from my haggard eyes. Even while subject to my safe surroundings Mason's last breath was all I could think about, that last agonizing gaze before he died lingered with me, tortured me.

And then my alarm clock went off.

Feelings of dread bubbled within me as the aftermath of that nightmare ripped me apart. I groaned into my pillow dejectedly, St. Vladimir's had it's own department specially dedicated to torment me.

After a quick shower to calm the nerves and wash away all the sticky perspiration from my body I got dressed, throwing on the first piece of material my hands touched.

I had a feeling it was going to be a long day.

XxxxXxxxX

"Mr. Mazur," Vice Principle Hans greeted, his voice as old as the brown tweed-colored suit he wore. "Thank you for coming," he looked up at Abe.

I suppressed a sigh. Abe's firm, condescending gaze brought a sly smirk to my lips. He wasn't your average example of parental authority. As I expected he refused to even sit at all, and crossed his arms over his expensive jacket, an unmistakable air of superiority encompassed him.

"Of course," His dark, fathomless eyes flickered between the principle and I. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Rose was in a fight yesterday," vice principle Hans said, a stern note in his voice.

"My understanding is that Rose was assaulted and defended herself," Abe said, unblinkingly.

Mr. Hans gave a wary head shake. "Yes. However, there was a great deal of pushing prior to that, provoking an outburst-"

I had to give Mr. Hans credit for meeting Abe's powerful gaze without flinching. The guy should of went into a job with more eminence.

"So," Abe interjected, frowning ever slightly, "because this other adolescent lacked self-control my daughter is to be punished?"

I suddenly understood why Abe was so good at his job. It wasn't just over the fact that he delivered his claims with outright honesty but the way in which he captured his witness's eye and urged them to listen to him.

Although, this time he was sort of base, yet somehow still shy of the truth. It was no surprise that I would end up in the principle's office on my second week at St. Vladimirs. No surprise at all.

"Both were fully involved in exchange of blows, and both will be punished. Per our policy," Mr. Hans said, his voice however, wavered, in response to Abe's firm gaze, I wasn't sure. "As this is Rose's first offense, of course we hope this incident won't be repeated-"

"It won't," Abe's voice held a promise, underscored by a hint of wariness.

I bit my lip to conceal my laughter. This whole thing was a colossal waste of time. But that didn't mean I regretted hitting that blond porcelain doll's face any less. Mia Rinaldi was practically asking for it, who was I to deny her a little fun and games. After confirming my friendship with Lissa, I'd apparently subjected myself to Mia Rinaldi's bitchy infernal side. The rumors I could handle, even the one's that had been spiraling out of control about my arrival at Palm Springs. But purposely hurting Lissa? The bitch had walked into the wrong territory.

It was strange, really. That I would feel so inclined to protect someone like her, whom I barely knew yet I felt like I knew Lissa more than the short span of time we'd spent. She was kind and thoughtful and seeing someone like her cry had enticed sparks of fury I hadn't seen in a while.

"I'm happy to hear that. Now, Mr. Mazur, I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss something else. Rose's attendance is abysmal, and we've been receiving a few complaints from our staff about, er, disruptions in the environment."

I scoffed mentally. A disruption to the environment? That was a blatant lie. I rarely bothered speaking in classroom discussions. Hell, I barely hung around enough for classroom discussions.

Abe had a knowing look in his eyes, all those phone calls were finally getting to him...

"What can be done?" He asked, looking as tired as I felt. Though, he hid it a lot better than I did.

"Well, if she wants to graduate with her classmates next year, she's got to pull up her grades," Mr. Hans rested his hands on his large mahogany desk. "I thought perhaps some tutoring?"

"Of course. If that's what it takes," Abe nodded, "We want Rose to graduate, naturally."

"Naturally," Mr. Hans agreed. "Now, Jesse Zelkoz," I straightened up in my chair, surprised at what I thought was coming. "Is one of our finest students and has offered to tutor, Rose here. It's only for a few days, in class suspension. But I think you'll agree this is a very lenient and hopefully allow Rose to look at this as an incentive, and not as a punishment." I'd only met Jesse a couple of times but each encounter had been worth it's pay. Jesse had a trance like beauty to him, with his tousled brown hair and deep accented abs. Not mention that playful smile. Time alone with him? Studying? Looks like I got more than I bargained for.

"They will be supervised," he continued, though something told me Abe lost interest a long time ago. "Now if I can have you sign some paper work..."

XxxxXxxxX

I longed to go home.

To Montana.

But I'd already alienated my own mother, not kindly either. Mostly I missed Mason, my best friend.

And he was gone.

I could have gone to Lissa. She's a great friend. But that's not where I went. I walked along a narrow stone path, heart pounding in my chest.

There was really only one person I wanted to be with right now.

Dimitri stood with his back to me-his bare back-I might add. He wore loose pants around his waist. My mouth dried up at the sight of him. His strong, muscular arms lurched forward into a punching bag. I'd only known Dimitri for a short while. But we'd both been partnered in a school assignment and, well, there was definitely something there. Something powerful that made my stomach do all kinds of flips.

His long dark hair was tied at the back and for a moment I imagined running my fingers through those silky locks.

"Were you even going to say anything?"

My pulse quickened as Dimitri turned around, flashing me one of those full rare smiles. God, I loved that smile.

Almost as much as I loved the sight of him clad in loose sweat pants. I licked my lips hungrily.

"Thought you might need a real opponent," I said glibly as I sauntering forward.

His eyes didn't stray from mine but held a dubious note. I was wearing a navy blue sundress, with my hair piled high on my head.

"I'm not going to fight you, Roza-"

I launched a fist at his stomach, one that he neatly dodged. Concern flashed in the deep depth of those gorgeous eyes.

I swung another hit this, this time it didn't waver and hit his shoulder. He barely staggered but I was hardly one to hold back.

"C'mon Belikov," I panted, a few loose strands of hair fell into my face. I brushed them away. "Show me what you're made of."

He did.

Only I had taken combat classes and had turned out to be a better opponent than I other of us had expected.

After a few blows here and there both of us were panting heavily, beads of sweat on our skin. Later I might have accused him for letting me win but for now I was happy to be in control. Dimitri staggered back and I landed another blow on him, this one caused him to trip over but his hands caught my wrist, bringing me down after him.

My body was flat against his, I could feel every inch of his hard, lean chest. My eyes met his and then he was running his fingers through my hair, caressing my cheek in the process. I was to afraid to speak, this moment was to precious to risk shattering.

I wanted to kiss him.

And from the hungry look in his eyes, I doubted I was the only one.

His fingers continued touching my cheek, running through my messy hair.

"Dimitri."

I jumped in surprise, hastily rolling off Dimitri just in time to see Tasha in the doorway.

That's when I knew.

Tasha loved Dimitri. It was palpably clear in those stark blue eyes. I could almost see her world crashing around us. She swallowed and we both glanced at Dimitri. He was up now as well but when his eyes met Tasha's haunted gaze she turned away.

Dimitri spared me a glance, his expression torn. "Rose."

"Go," I said softly.

His fingertips brushed my cheek, my skin warmed.

And then he was gone.

XxxxXxxxX

I think I deserve the walk of shame or something.

So, the real reason I posted this chapter is because I have writer's block and I was hoping you guys could help me.

I need suggestions, ideas, anything really!

Rose and Dimitri are reunited and I'll be continuing where I left off before the past two chapters. So please tell me what I should do.

Sorry to disappoint you with this chapter. I just really need to get it over with.

I have a couple ideas:

Rose and Dimitri, and Janine can go to Montana so Rose can try to remember her childhood.

Or I could insert the wedding scene, Zoey's wedding. Dimitri could get jealous of Adrian and...?

I'm at a complete loss. :(

I miss writing, I just don't know how to pick up on it again. 


	15. Chapter 15

**I hadn't expected to get a chapter out today. I was having some trouble with my homework and suddenly I'm writing the next chapter! This is actually part 3 of Rose's past.**

**But I promise next chapter we'll return to the present. Unless you guys want a part four.**

**Something I forgot to mention last chapter. The scene with Abe, well like I said that chapter was complete gibberish and I sort of took the dialogue from the book Illusions by Aprilynne Parks...I promise there's nothing like that in this chapter or any other.**

**Thanks for the reviews, they helped a lot and always make me feel very, very happy. So, thanks. :)**

**Chapter 13**

**Part III**

* * *

><p>"Watch it-"<p>

My books landed on the linoleum floor, making an inaudible sound for all the noise surrounding me but I hardly noticed. My anger disappeared faster than I can count. I'd knocked it to some in my haste to meet Lissa but really, in that moment I could of care less.

Dimitri Belikov stood in front of me, his eyes, those dark beautiful eyes met mine and for a moment I worried my books wouldn't be the only thing hitting the floor. He was dressed as always in a plain shirt and jeans, but I was to busy admiring the hard planed of his face, the inviting curve of his jaw-

Damn it.

I thought I was over him. I thought breaking his heart was the right thing to do but...was it?

I cursed quietly and we both bent down at the same time to retrieve my books.

"You don't have to do that," I muttered, unable to meet his eyes again.

The scent of his aftershave hit me hard and I couldn't resist a sniff. I nearly smiled in spite of myself.

"Rose?"

My stomach did all kinds of tricks when I was around him but hearing my name on his tongue sent a thrill through me. Which was stupid...Really stupid.

I gathered my books and looked up a fraction.

Dimitri held a photo of Mason in his hand. It must have fallen out of one my books. I swallowed, it was strange having him see that but at the same time...It wasn't strange at all. Not with Dimitri.

I took the photo from him, briefly grazing his fingers in the process.

I couldn't help it. I looked up to find him watching me. His dark intense gaze sent a shiver through me, there was something there that I couldn't quite make sense of. Anger? Sadness? I couldn't tell.

And then it dawned on me. I almost groaned out in frustration.

A month ago I'd probably made the worst mistake of my life. Scratch that, I could think of worse mistakes I'd committed in the past. The evidence was in my hands.

I'd told Dimitri I had a boyfriend. But more importantly I'd told him Mason Ashford was my boyfriend. Why had I done it? Why had i lied? Given up the only thing that made me happy in Palm Springs? Tasha's eyes were the same hauntingly familiar shade of Mason's. She has a good heart too, just like Mason. So, how could I make a move on her beautifully handsome best friend knowing she loved him.

I didn't deserve Dimitri. But maybe someone kind and thoughtful did. Someone like Natasha Ozera.

And that's when I realized maybe, just maybe the look on Dimitri's breathtaking face was something I never would have considered.

Jealousy.

I also realized I was still starring him.

I got up hastily, he quickly followed.

"Thanks, comrade," the nickname slipped out and he gave me a brief, wonderful half smile.

"You're welcome, Roza."

I froze, and couldn't stop from starring at his retreating back, my heart stuck in my throat.

"It's Rose," I murmured softly and turned away.

Of course, he knew that too. But the first time he'd called me Roza I had thought he'd mistaken my name.

He hadn't.

XxxxXxxxX

"I got here as soon as I could..."

My voice trailed off and my eyes widened.

Lissa had opened the bathroom stall. My jaw dropped in astonishment, but my surprise quickly segued to anger.

"Lissa?" I whispered, horrified. "What have you done?"

Her wrists were covered in small red cuts, from where her blood had seeped out. Her usually thoughtful face was paler than I'd ever seen it.

It was to late to hide my horror. I was scared of what she had done to herself.

I snatched a handful of toilet paper and wound the cheap paper around her wrists. Swallowing thickly I turned around to make sure no one had seen. My heart filled with relive because no one was around to see it. I locked the door and returned her horrible and bloodied sight. It wasn't as bad as last time at least.

Whatever it was.

"Lissa?" I said again, my voice returning to it's normal temp. "You promised. You promised you would stop."

But she wouldn't look at me, hey green eyes were full of...fascination and focused on the blood on her wrists.

I shucked off my dark blue cardigan and helped her slip in to it.

"Rose," she exclaimed, hushed tears in her voice. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just-"

She looked up at me and burst into to tears.

Suddenly it didn't matter that I was angry or frightened. I grabbed her in a giant hug no longer uncertain.

Lissa was upset and that took precedence over everything else.

She sniffled in my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I assured her. "I understand," I told her, even though I didn't. "Tell me what happened," an edge entered my voice. I had a feeling I knew what had driven her to this point. She pulled back to look at me and realized I knew too.

"Please, Rose. Don't do anything stupid. You've already gotten in to so much trouble."

"Trouble's my middle name," I hissed angrily. "I'm going to kill her. I'm going to rip those pretty blond curls off that porcelain bitch face of hers."

"You can't," Lissa insisted, as I drew her to the sinks to clean off her wrists, fear making her look paler than before. "You'll get suspended...Or worse."

I did know that but the thing was I didn't really care.

"You mess with Lissa Dragomir, than you mess with Rose Hathaway. Whose middle name is trouble by the way."

She groaned and I helped her dry off her wrists.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking pointedly away. "I should have been there." I should have protected you from that low life, psychotic bitch.

She shook her head, her blond hair obscuring her face. "You can't always be there to save me, Rose."

"But I can try," I placed an arm around her shoulders, "C'mon, let's get this Dragomir home."

XxxxXxxxX

Lissa was right.

I got suspended for breaking Mia Rinaldi's nose. And even though I wasn't around to protect Lissa for the next couple weeks, I knew Christain would.

"That bitch had it coming."

Lissa groaned and dropped a pile of books on my bed.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "I didn't leave school so it could follow me all the way home."

"You've suffered enough thanks to me," Lissa said, collapsing on the edge of my bed. Her wrists were bandaged up under a long sleeve cotton shirt. A bit warm for Palm Springs but nobody would notice. "I don't want your grades to suffer too."

I chuckled, throwing my covers off me. "Been there babe. Trust me, they were suffering long before you came along."

She rolled her eyes and I couldn't help another laugh. "It's okay, Liss." At her uncertain look I added, "Trust me. Missing a few days of school is nothing I can't handle. Although I bet Christain couldn't."

Lissa's pale complexion turned bright red.

I grinned.

"He's just my friend," she insisted adamantly.

"Oh, right," I laughed, "because friends usually give you puppy dog eyes and find an excuse to touch you. Sure, Lissa. Sure."

She covered her face with her hands. "He has a girl friend."

"But he loves you."

I bit my lip, astonished at myself.

Lissa withdrew her hands from her face, her eyes were full of genuine confusion.

"What the hell are you about, Rose?"

I gave her a look.

"Rose!"

I sighed. "Oh, c'mon Lissa! Do you really think he only wants to be you're friend?"

She swallowed thickly. "He is my friend. He's my friend and Aaron's my boyfriend-"

"Aaron's a two year old in a ten year old's body."

She hadn't been angry, so much as astonished before but this made her eyes narrow. "I can't believe you're saying this."

"I'm sorry," I bit my lip again because, well I had already said to much. I had to let her figure it out on my own.

"Whatever," she said, tossing her blond hair over her shoulder in annoyance. "I think I've overwhelmed my stay anyways."

"You've never done that. Listen, I shouldn't have said that."

Because if Christian finds out what I told you our deal is comatose. Christian really did love Lissa, and I had promised not to say anything because he was my friend too but he wants Lissa see him too.

The sad part is Lissa was the only one who didn't see him.

"Oh," she said, interrupting my thoughts. "I almost forgot, Dimitri asked about you."

My face felt hot for no particular reason. "Did he now?"

"He seemed really worried," this time it was Lissa's turn to give me a knowing look.

My chest felt tight all of a sudden. I pictured his face, his lips, the ones I'd almost kissed. God, he has great lips. I imagined running my tongue over them.

"Well, I'm sure he has other things besides me to be worrying about," I said glibly though I thought about Dimitri's big family. He had to many sisters to count. His father had past away years ago and the rest of his family look up to him now. I remembered the way he would lift up Paul, Karolina's adorable six year old son. Or the way he would share an affectionate look with his mother.

My heart felt heavy all of a sudden.

"Rose?"

I had a feeling this wasn't the first time she'd tried to get my attention.

"Mmm?"

"Do you still want to go to the party?"

It took me a minute to comprehend that. Party..."Jesse Zelkos, right?"

She nodded. "The one."

"Hell, yeah I want to go," I said, leaping out of bed. "Just let me get dressed," I wandered to my closet.

"Oh, and Rose."

There was something in her voice that made me turn around and look at her.

"Yeah?"

She met my curious gaze levelly.

"Christian doesn't love me."

XxxxXxxxX

"Welcome back."

I closed my locker.

"Hello, Tasha."

She grinned, it was the first genuine one I'd seen since she walked in on Dimitri and I.

"You really did it, didn't you?"

I frowned, confused. "I've done a lot of things, Ozera. Which one might you be referring to?"

"You broke Rinaldi's nose."

"You doubted it?" I said indigently.

It turns out Rinaldi was to embarrassed to come to school with a broken nose. Shame.

She shrugged, a smug expression on her face. Her blue eyes were deep and thoughtful. "I may have betted against you."

My jaw dropped in mock outrage. "Well, that's probably your worse bet."

She chuckled, "No. My worse bet was when I asked Dimka if he's in love with you."

I was grinning before but now my smile slipped away.

"Anyways, I got to go. See ya around Hathaway."

I stared at the spot she'd just been in. To confused to move.

By the time lunch came around I realized something wasn't right. I was use to the admonishing stared I'd get at St. Vladimirs on a daily basis but there was something almost creepy about it now. They were whispering about me. All of them. If I had tried paying attention during the day I would have realized what they were about.

"Is it true?"

Lissa slid in the seat beside me. I barely noticed.

"Mason," I whispered. "They know. How do they know?"

The answer was a girl with a very broken nose. So this is why Mia had been to busy to show up to school.

She was plotting my downfall.

"Rose?"

I shook my head disbelievingly. Mason. I looked around the lunchroom, countless eyes met my own. They know. They know my best friend died for me.

"I have to go," I said, not recognizing my own voice.

"What? Rose," she sounded uncertain. "Who's Mason?"

My breath caught.

"Don't follow me, Liss."

I walked away from her before and the rest of them before everyone in the room saw me cry.

I stayed in the pool house for the rest of the day. Abe's liquor cabinet had greeted me with open arms and I'd taken as much bottles as I could in one haul.

Lissa came by, but I didn't let her in. How could I face her after everything I'd done?

"Ross. Let me in."

I downed a bottle of Vodka. "No can do, Dragomir," I tossed my head back and let the dizzying effects of alcohol take me.

"Rose?"

I blinked.

Dimitri.

Oh god. I had completely forgot. What would he think of me now that he knew I was lying?

I wasn't ready to face Lissa, and I thought I wasn't ready to face anyone else either. But the part of me that would always be drawn to Dimitri was ready to get the condemnation over with. Or maybe I was just to drunk and wanted to see him.

I opened the door, and sure enough he was alone.

He wore a black dress shirt I'd never seen before and jeans. His hair was out and loose the way I liked. But for all I noticed was his dark eyes. My heart ached and I knew I had made a mistake opening the door.

"What do you want?" I whispered.

"You."

I blinked, unable to believe my ears. "Well I'm not in the mood to play, so you'll have to find someone else," my hand tightened on the door knob.

"I'm done playing, Roza."

I frowned, truly confused now. "Don'tch you get it?" I asked, tears springing to my eyes. "I killed someone, Dimitri. I killed someone."

He shook his head, as if he didn't believe me and suddenly I was backing away. He stepped in to my spacious little pool house. Which was a mess but neither of us were concerned about that.

"I read the papers, Rose. It was an accident."

My heart was beating hard before but now it was a full out race.

"No. I. Killed. Him."

His strong, warm hands gripped my wrists. "No, you didn't. It was an accident. That other man-Victor-"

"Don't say his name!" I screamed screamed, unable to get a grip on my emotions, ripping my hands from his. "Don't say his name to me!"

"Rose," he looked so hopeless, so understanding.

His heart was in his eyes and mine felt like it was being crushed under that gaze.

"You don't understand, Dimitri. It was my fault." It was hard to make sense of anything with all the alcohol in my system. Although that's why I had it in my system in the first place. "He never would have been there if it weren't for me." He never would have died if he hadn't come back for me.

For months I had stowed away his death in the darkest corners of my mind but now, it was almost a relief to say it out loud.

Dimitri grabbed for me again, this time to hold me in his arms. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest. "Why don't you hate me?" I mumbled into his chest.

"Because I love you."

I froze. He froze. My breathing had stopped altogether. Dimitri...loved me?

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. Maybe I had fallen asleep after all. Any minute now I would wake up and...

"You love me?" It hurt to pull away, his arms were my safe haven. I looked up at him and a small gasp escaped my lips.

The way he was looking at me...I had tried to ignore it...To pretend...I didn't deserve Dimitri's love. I didn't deserve him. But he really did love me. There was no more denying it.

Dimitri Belikov loves me.

"I think I need to lay down."

He helped me to the bed. Under any other circumstances I would have been excited. Now I was just confused and tired and Dimitri loves me.

I rested my head against the pillow and Dimitri sat on the edge of my bed.

"What do you want, Roza?" He asked gently.

It was such a Dimitri thing to ask and as usual I didn't have any answers. None that made any sense anyways.

"You?"

It was a request I wasn't sure I was in a position to make but if there was one thing I knew.

I wanted Dimitri. Did I love him? I wasn't sure but I did know my heart aches for him when he's not there. I know I love his smile, the one that lights up his face and quite literally takes my breath away. I like the way he smells, and the way he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking. I love how sweet and warm and right he makes me feel.

I like that I don't feel guilty when I'm with him. He makes me want to be stronger and in the months I'd stayed away from him I had been strong. He inspired me. And he loves me.

"I changed my mind."

He brushed a stray lock of hair from my face. "Sorry?"

I was just close enough to reach out and wrap my arms around his neck. His eyes focused on mine.

"I want this," I said and then I did the next logical thing.

I kissed him.

His lips were warm and wonderful and even soft and hard at the same time. Like everything Dimitri did, he was skilled and passionate and this kiss just made me need him like I'd been starved and only now was I being fed. A low moan from the back of his throat made me...aroused. I pulled him closer so that he was on the bed now to. His lean, muscled body pressed against mine. Our kiss grew harder and more ardent and I wanted-no I needed for him to touch me.

"Wait-Roza, wait."

My lips trailed down his jaw, "I'm done waiting," I breathed, eagerly kissing his neck. He tasted so good.

I felt warm and alive with his body pressed on me.

"You said you were done playing," I splashed my hands on his chest. "Prove it to me. Prove you love me."

His lips crashed down on mine again and all thought escaped my mind. I was kissing Dimitri and I was ready to never stop.

XxxxXxxxX

Part IV? Yay, nay?

Hope you guys liked it. Sorry for grammar mistakes and stuff.


	16. Chapter 16

~+*+~ CHAPTER 16 ~+*+

One week later.

A slight breeze tossed my dark, long hair over one shoulder, as I gazed past the vast, immaculate ocean. My bare feet were echoless against the dock floor, the thin fabric of my dress clung to my body as I continued forward, and with each step my heart was strangely anxious. The resonant crash of the waves soothed me, while I stoked my arms, and the shivers along my skin slowly faded. It was dawn, and the perennial sky was a celestial array of iridescence, both beautiful and beguiling. And yet it was none of those things that had drawn me outside, because for all those combined and the radiance of the flaming sky, a part of me-that consumed my thoughts and if I knew my heart at all, I would have to guess that he owned the key-was standing near the near the edge of the dock, with his back to me.

Dimitri.

As if sensing my approach he stiffened, his entire body went motionless, and my heart rate picked up in response. I hesitated, briefly, and then with a sudden blind determination closed the impossibly long gap between us. I was still a little embarrassed over our reunion, still confused over the way my heart ached for someone I can't remember. Well, that's not strictly true. For weeks I had dreamt of him, his face, his half-smile, and honestly? Dream or no dream, I'm standing next something pretty special, and I don't need any memories to remind me so. All week we'd been together and at the same time, we were so far apart. Not for the first time, I wondered how difficult it must be for him, the others too, to face someone you thought had been lost forever.

Rising over the dark, pristine waves, was the luminous sun, charging the sky with radiance, and blazing shades of pink.

"Hey," I brushed a stray lock of hair away from my eyes, my body felt well rested, and I was disappointed to see Dimitri up before I was. I was use to waking up with him nearby. His presence made me feel warm, and even without my memories, made me feel complete.

He faced me, tilted his head to better look at me, and I was momentarily stunned by what I saw. Dark shadows were etched under his eyes, making the hard planes of his face more defined. His gorgeous face and jaw was covered in stubble, and my fingers itched to touch him. I wanted to devour him with my eyes, among other things. I wondered when he'd last slept, when he'd last put his guard down.

"Morning, Roza." My breath caught at his casual use of my name. Turns out Sydney was right. Roza is Russian for Rose.

He raised a hand, as if to tuck a curl of hair behind my ears, before suddenly dropping his hand, and my heart dropped regretfully. I had to repress a sigh. Why did I always feel a delicate, fragile flower when he almost touched me?

I had to look away from that intense, knowing gaze, for fear of breath shortage to catch up with me. As it was, my heart beat furiously in my chest, I could hear it, and I was almost positive he could too. Our surroundings held my attention, I focused on the ocean, the sound of ravens cawing in the distance. But somehow I ended up watching him. His dark eyes were thoughtful as always, full of profound admiration, and well, star struck. Like he couldn't believe I was standing here with him. It dawned on me, his aversion to touch might have something to do over his belief that I was here at all.

"Roza," he murmured gently, his voice made my chest ache, and I very badly wanted to run my fingers through the dark locks framing his face.

"You still haven't told me what this is? I touched the gold ring, hanging from the silver chain around my neck. It proved to be a good distraction in desperate times. "The story behind it, I mean."

He reached out, caught the ring in his long, calloused fingers, and I looked down where our fingers brushed.

"You know."

His gaze was so deep, so beautiful. I wanted to dive right in and forget whoever I was.

A soft sound between an irritated groan and dejected sigh, escaped me. "Dimitri..."

To my sudden astonishment his hand shot out and wrapped around one of my own. His was warm and unyielding, and sent tingles all the way to my toes. He raised my hand, gaze solely resting on me, and pressed our wrapped fingers to his broad, muscular chest, over his rapidly beating heart. I could see my stunned face and the wind blown hair reflected in those dark, ethereal orbs of darkness and again wondered how strange it must be, to think you've lost someone you love forever and then to have that person suddenly reappear in your life, alive and whole. Well, besides the holes in my head. But I'm pretty in tact, all things considered.

"God, you're beautiful," he murmured. "I never believed you were gone."

Love and tenderness dominated his torn expression, the fierce pain in his eyes blazed, and I wasn't sure who he was seeing right then. My ghost? Rose Hathaway sans her memories. The girl he spent the last four years caring about. Considering the way I felt and how his gaze consumed my heart, 'care' was without a doubt, the worse euphemism imaginable. "I never thought I would lose you. Now..."

His strong, steady heartbeat thudded beneath my palm. And so help me, my eyes wavered for the mere space of a second, to his lips. Impossible, I thought. This can't be happening...Christ sakes! I don't even remember him. My body was wholly aware of him, his nearness, the smell of his skin was messing with my head. The ocean became his eyes, the beautiful dawn was lost in his deep, wonderful gaze. Full of a love I might never understand. A love I was beginning to remember.

"It never felt right to me," he lamented, his voice barely a whisper. His dark, navy shirt was soft beneath my fingers and his hand held mine almost protectively against his heart. I studied every plain of his broken expression, the skin of his cheeks was covered in stubble and dark, chin length hair framed his face. He was studying me too. All week he had been kept his distance, yet had he really? I wondered. He was always there, always with me. Even when Lissa and the others surrounded me completely, practically swallowing me up, Dimitri had always been watching. No, I realized. Not watching. Waiting. For this moment. He had been waiting for me, for a very, very long time.

He closed eyes briefly, reminding me of the dark, sallow skin beneath his eyes, which was ironic, considering I'd been endeavoring his perennial beauty.

"I tried, Rose." I wasn't sure how, but somehow just I knew, knew that behind those closed eyes that he was seeing something terrible that I couldn't. "I tried to let you go."

I watched him pour his heart out. All week I had wondered what was so special about him, why I was so drawn to him without any prior knowledge of who he is.

"Everyday was agony, every time I closed my eyes you were there. The same way you were always here."

His heart skipped a beat beneath my hand and it made me realize what he was saying to me.

I was always in his heart.

And I also realized something else during this startling epiphany. I wanted to kiss him. My heart burned within my chest and I wanted Dimitri Belikov to kiss me. For the second time in the daybreak I found my gaze wandering to his lips.

He leaned in and I really, really wanted him to close the space between us.

His hands brushed the bare skin of my arms I fought a shiver, though it had nothing to do with temperature. He made me feel excited and not for the first time I wondered about us, what it had been like...when we'd first kissed...

I wanted those memories so bad and when I kissed Dimitri I wanted to know who I am.

I pressed my lips to his cheek. Harmless right...I suspected my heart stopped beating then.

Not because I'd just kissed him but because that was pretty amazing but in that moment something infinitely more incredible happened.

I remembered.

(*~*~*)

Hey guys.

I really hope u liked this chapter, I know not everyone will but it's the best I could do & I hope it was enough.

Does anyone else miss summer?

Writing was so fun back then. No worries. No obligations. No freaking Machiavelli essays. Man, I hate that guy.

Anyways, leave me some love.

Bonnie, xoxo

Because Buria was so mysterious.

Please review!

I'm open to suggestions & craving criticism. I actually put a lot of work into this chapter but it's still kind of, mhmm, yeah, sure.. For me..so let me know what u guys thought ! :)

I keep day dreaming about the golden lily, it's getting kind of unhealthy. But C'mon that freaking cliff hanger? WTF richelle mead? Ah, gotta love her.

Btw, I have the grim feeling this may be the last update. Can someone please remind me why I can't do that?


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry for not updating sooner! I've got an essay and college applications to deal with. But I promise to continue this story! Btw, Rose can remember memories but she can't remember her emotions. Yet. Oh my god, it's snowing & it's so pretty outside!

And lastly, thanks so much for the support! And the threats to come barging down on my door are eerily appreciated! :) love it when ppl are obsessed w/ my stories. Legendary.

~+*+~ CHAPTER 17 ~+*+~

Flashback

_Long gentle fingers gripped my shoulders as I trudged forward, had it been anyone else I may have walked with uncertainty but with him I just knew there was no danger. Nothing to fear. Except for fear of falling due to the dark silk material concealing my field of vision._

_"Are we there yet?"_

_His soft amused laughter filled my ears and the sound wrapped around me like a gentle caress. My lips twitched amusedly and his warm breath tickled my neck. I wondered, not for the first time that evening, where I was being led to. I knew there was something special waiting for me, possibly an early Christmas present and I could scarcely contain my excitement._

_Or my annoyance. "I hate surprises," I murmured deadpan._

_Dimitri pressed a kiss below my earlobe. "Patience, Roza."_

_Hmm. A smile played around the edges of my lips. Maybe a blindfold wasn't such a bad idea after all..._

_I moved forward without hesitation as he led me up a flight of stairs. The damn silk was really starting to irritate my skin. The irony was not lost on me._

_I moved cautiously, acutely aware of Dimitri behind me. Suddenly I was glad I wore the short navy blue sun dress in place of the mini shorts and spaghetti straps I had debated wearing this morning. I sighed inwardly. It's not Christmas without snow and Palm Springs doesn't get snow very often and by not very often I mean never. But at least I get Dimitri. The thought made me smile and it occurred to me suddenly that I would always be happy with Dimitri. It wasn't exactly a shocking epiphany but it did stun me a little. My life had changed drastically ever since Dimitri had become part of it._

_I began to get impatient as we trudged forward. Impatient and intrigued. Jeez, he obviously knows what he's doing._

_"Are we going to Siberia or something?" I teased._

_Dimitri laughed. Not the tough Siberian reaction I was expecting but I smiled nonetheless. "Maybe."_

_"You know this blindfold is starting to put some not-so-innocent thoughts into my head."_

_Another laugh, this one was deeper and more amused. Darn. So much for my salacious fantasies._

_"Maybe next time," he said, a mischievous note to his voice. Mmm, I love playful Dimitri. "But I had something a little less sinful in mind."_

_"Whatever you say, Comrade. But if you stick with me sinning is guaranteed," I declared._

_His skilled tender fingers ran down my bare arms. How can he manipulate an innocent touch like that into such a risqué caress? "Is that so?"_

_My breathing hitched. Only Dimitri could make me feel this way. "You can bet on it," I said, suddenly breathless._

_We walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence. Some of those not-so-innocent thoughts were clouding my head and I was pretty sure he could hear them. Not that I minded._

_"We're here. I'm going to take this off."_

_Don't stop there, I thought. Anticipation made me giddy but I tried to appear composed and cool for his special surprise._

_The silky black material fell away..._

_"Oh," I breathed in wonder._

_The room—though really, I have no idea where we are—was incredible. The walls were covered from top to bottom in screens, trees covered in frost and blowing in the wind moved around me. Soft white flakes of snow fell from the ceiling. I would have to ask him about that one later. In the centre of the room was an inviting pile of sheets and a couple pillows atop of them. Dimitri had brought Montana to me. He brought home to me and it was even more beautiful than the real thing. In my mind I saw Mason's happy go smile, Janine and Abe happy once upon a time when we were all a family. Deep, intense emotions filled my chest as I turned around to face Dimitri. I meant what I said, the winter wonderland room was beautiful, but his deep earnest gaze was the real beauty and I wouldn't trade him for the world._

_I stared at him through white flakes, an enchanted smile across my lips. His dark eyes appraised me affectionately and with a hell lot more._

_"Do you like it?" He asked, and I couldn't believe the hint of nervousness I heard in his wonderful voice._

_"Like it?" I couldn't help but laugh as I crossed the few short feet between us. I took his beautiful face in my hands. His cheeks were warm and smooth beneath my palms. "I love it," I whispered because I did. It was the single most sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me._

_He smiled one of his full rare smiles and my heart exploded in my chest. How did I ever get so lucky?_

_He offered me his hand, I took it without thought, without consequence, because that's how much I trusted him. He led me to the center of the room and we lay down on the floor, on top of the crisp pristine sheets. I was smiling like an idiot but I couldn't help it._

_"I got you something," he told me._

_"I-" I was staggered. "This isn't enough?"_

_He laughed, "C'mon you little sinner, give me your hand."_

_I raised a hand out of curiosity. He placed a small, cool golden object in my out raised palm. It was an elegant gold ring and I studied it curiously. It was to beautiful for words but more important were the tiny words engraved across the band:_

_For my Roza, I will always love you._

_He looked so gorgeous, well beyond that, with soft flakes of snow in his hair and a happy genuine smile on his face. It made my heart race like a rollercoaster. _

_"You've really outdone yourself this time, Belikov," I murmured, awe struck by his kindness. He kept surprising me in ways I didn't know possible. "But the part where you get down one is sort of almost always required."_

_His eyes widened and I grinned. _

_"Kidding." _

_He opened his mouth—probably to tell me what a little misfit I was—but I couldn't help but kiss those intriguingly beautiful soft lips of his. Wait to seize the day, Hathaway._

_I pressed myself closer to him and pulled the soft fabric of his shirt as our hungry lips melded together in ardent favor of each other. His warm heady scent made my head spin. _

_We broke away grinning—and gasping for breath. "Thank you," I told him, gently whisking his dark silky hair behind his ears. I held his eyes with my own, "It's beautiful."_

_He kissed me again and all coherent thoughts left my head._

_"Mhm wait," I said around his lips. "Your crafts were impressive but... how did you manage the real snow?" I quarked an eyebrow curiously. _

_He grinned his sexy grin that I loved. "I'm well connected," he said and leaned in to kiss me once more._

XxxxXxxxX

Present

Whoa. I'd never had such a real vivid memory. I stared at Dimitri, stunned and overwhelmed...and blushing. I didn't have to remember the rest to know things had gotten risqué.

He reached out and touched my cheek, his expression puzzled. I sucked in a breath, my skin tingled from where he'd touched it. "Never seen that one before."

It was my turn to be puzzled. "Sorry?" I tilted my head to the side and appraised him curiously.

His lips parted, a small mystified laugh escaped him. "In all the years I've known you," he said, "You rarely see this beautiful color on your cheeks."

His words were beautiful but dangerous. I wanted to tell him what I remembered but the tragedy of losing all my memories suddenly crashed down upon me in an astoundingly painful force. Why had I fallen off the ship? Why me? Why had I been standing near the precarious railing? I was angry, so very angry I could barely contain my abrupt vehement rage. Why had I lost my life like that? My fists clenched into tiny balls at my sides.

Dimitri frowned as if he saw the disastrous change in me.

I felt traitor tears prick my eyes. The moisture swelling in my eyes was like a slap in the face. I didn't want to cry in front of Dimitri. I didn't want to cry in front of anyone, period.

"Rose!"

He placed his hands on my face and for a second I thought I might let him comfort me. He was so sweet and sincere and he obviously cares for me. But my emotions were to strong for me to cope with. I was angry and upset and being with him was messing with my head. I remembered the way we'd kissed under the snow, and my heart ached. I could see it all clearly in my head, the way he'd looked at me, the way I'd looked at him but I couldn't remember how I felt.

"Don't," I warned and turned away before I could see his expression. I didn't want to see his pain anymore than I wanted to face my own. "Leave me alone." It was selfish but my emotion were a tangled mess. Better to leave than say something I'll regret later.

After crossing the dock I ran into Lissa's and Christian's homey beach house. I ran into the room they accommodated me in and closed the door behind me. I collapsed on the floor and the tears burst freely.

Through all my anger I had never asked myself the question that seemed to matter most. _Why had I lost him?_The irony was not lost on me but I couldn't help but wonder, what forces had drawn us apart…

XxxxXxxxX

Sorry it was so short! I will have a super awesome update for you guys sometime during the holidays.

Thoughts? Opinions? Hate? Love..? Suggestions...

I won't give up on this story, so long as you don't give up on me. :)

And yes, I totally took the snow room from gossip girl.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Dimitri

The tension in the room was excruciating. I stood in the corner of Abe's office, arms crossed over my chest. I knew I had to give Rose space, give her time...but in situations like this...It went against everything I knew.

"You're lying," she shook her head incredulously, a mixture of emotions played across her face; confusion, disbelief, anger.

The anger eventually won out.

"Why?" A half-delirious laugh escaped her soft lips. "Why did she-" She ran her hands through her hair in frustration, vehement turmoil rolling off her in violent waves. Her hands balled up into fists at her sides. That rare, crazed look came into her eyes, the one she only got when her heated anger only surpassed her own records.

And the urge to hold her, to protect her-even from herself-was so strong it took everything I had, to just stay still.

"Because she envied you," I murmured, surprised at how even my voice was. "She's been jealous of what you and I have for a very long time. That jealousy turned into something darker. For years it's been building up and...eventually, she had to face it."

I just wish I had been there to stop it.

Rose shook her head, "No." Another delirious laugh, this one louder. More incredulous. "No..." And then so quietly I barely heard it, "what we had."

Abe sighed, leaning forward he rested his arms on his meticulously organized, mahogany desk. "Rose, I understand your furious-"

Rose stood up in one blindingly swift motion. Her body was full of passion and justice. "Furious?" She said, voice unexpectedly even, but there was an undercurrent of sorrow beneath all the burning resentment, under all that fury. "Do you know what it's like to wake up in the middle of no where, not knowing, not remembering your own name?" The bitter edge in her voice tore through me, slicing deep. I didn't want her to be bitter, to be as hopeless as I was when I had lost her.

Abe met Rose's glare unflinchingly. "No. But I know what it's it like to lose a daughter."

Rose stiffened. She opened her mouth, then promptly closed it.

"She's gone, Rose. Locked away," Abe's voice held the depth of a promise even I couldn't begin to fathom.

I knew what was coming, and I didn't like it.

"No," I met Rose's intensely angry gaze, "No. You won't see her. Ever." Abe had made due on his promise, now I vowed to do the same. I would never let harm come to Rose again.

"That," she said curtly, "is not your decision to make."

I held her gaze, forgetting where we were and why. Even her anger, her passionate conviction in what she believed never ceased to amaze me.

Abe cleared his throat loudly. "Dimitri's right." And then he shrugged nonchalantly, "Not that it matters. Tasha was transferred to a security maximum facility in Europe," he glanced at his pristine golden watch, "one hour ago."

Rose glared at him, then me. The power of her gaze, no matter how furious, stunned me. And though she was right there in front of me, I missed her. I missed the way she use to look at me, I missed the secret, playful smiles that were only reserved for me.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry. But Tasha will never get close to you. I won't let her hurt you again."

She directed her icy glare towards me, "You. Can't. Do. This."

I sighed. I hated the state of turmoil this was undoubtedly causing her but this was just one thing I couldn't allow. "What's done is done."

She held my gaze for a moment longer and then steadily after rising out of her seat turned away.

She stopped at the door, her long dark hair shadowing her tight expression. She looked at us calmly, "You're going to regret this," she promised and disappeared through the door.

I made a move to follow her. "Don't," Abe sighed, "Let her go. Blow off some steam."

I sat in Rose's vacant seat.

"She's not going to stop," I said, feeling drained. Rose had never looked at me with such loathing before. "Not the Rose I know."

I buried my face in my hands. "I don't want her to suffer anymore."

Abe patted my back, I hadn't even realized he'd gotten up. "She'll come around, son. She's a Hathaway. These things have a way of coming together."

My hands balled into fists. "If she finds out we're lying-"

Tasha wasn't in some foreign nation. She was however, a two hour ride away. And if Rose knew...

That need to protect her was to strong, to powerful.

A dangerous glint came into Abe's dark, calculating eyes.

"She won't."

XxxxXxxxX

Extremely short! I'm so sorry but i started writing out of the blue today and decided i really wanted to publish something. but when i tried to extend the chapter its like my muse disappeared. which is a problem because now i can't work on my history essay. so i think if i publish this i can finish my essay. which is due tomorrow...

yes, what a weird author indeed!

im "considering" giving this story up for adoption, just wondering if anyone's interested first.

miss my reviewers! please let me know if u like the direction this story is going

Nelleyrose94, i like ur suggestion! adrian will be back in the picture eventually, i promise.


	19. Chapter 19

Hey guys! Hope your holidays are going well!

Xxxx Chapter 19 xxxX

I won't soar, I won't climb  
>If you're not here, I'm paralyzed<br>Without you, without you  
>I can't look, I'm so blind<br>I lost my heart, I lost my mind  
>Without you<br>-David Guetta

XxxxXxxxX

Rose

I leaned against a solid rail, my arms flailing over the edges and my eyes roaming the vast ocean before me. It was surprisingly chilly for an evening in Palm Springs and goosebumps rose along my arms and legs. My navy blue dress fluttered with the crisp breeze, and threw my dark long hair over my back. The the moon overhead illuminated surface of the dark glimmering ocean, giving an almost majestic feel to the scene. My mind was a tangled mess of confusion as I stared beyond the sea, beyond a world I didn't belong to.

_"She tried to kill you."_

I took a deep breath, thankful for the calm breeze running along my skin, invigorating me of the dark emotions threatening to explode at any given moment.  
><em><br>"Her name is Tasha Ozera."_

I squeezed my eyes shut in a feeble attempt to block out my escalating thoughts. My heart beat to fast beneath my skin, pounding anxiously, pounding with fierce rage. I ran both hands through my hair, frustration beginning to seep into my every nerve ending and invading my mind with its cruel persistence.

_"Because she envied you. She's been jealous of what you and I have for a very long time. That jealousy turned into something darker. For years it's been building up and...eventually, she had to face it."_

Another deep breath, another attempt to stay in control, to hold on. But the more I thought about everything I'd learned tonight, the farther away I wanted to get from the semblance of calm I held.

_"She's gone, Rose. Locked away."_

I almost laughed, albeit a bitter one. I should have been exuberant over the fact this mysterious stranger who's practically ripped me away from my own existence is rotting away in a prison cell. But I wasn't. I felt the dark swell of emotions inside of my chest press down on me, suffocating me. I wrapped my arms around myself and walked around aimlessly.

I was angry. So, so angry...Yet at the same time I didn't even know where it was all directed. How do you claim to hate someone you don't know, someone you don't remember?

I paced over the dock until I was in earshot of a loud chorus of lyrics, none of which I could recognize. It was loud, obnoxious and I found myself drawn towards it. Groups of teenagers alike were running over each other trying to get into the club's entrance. The bouncer, clad all in black allowed a few people in at a time.

_"No. You won't see her. Ever."_

My hands balled up tightly into hard fists as Dimitri's fiercely spoken words echoed inside my head. The nerve, I thought, well two can play at that game. I approached the bouncer.

"Age?"

I showed him my ID. "Twenty two," I declared primly.

He gave me a quick once over, a hint of suspicion in his eyes, and then cleared the path for me.

"Maybe reckless is my middle name," I muttered under my breath and entered the club's entrance.

XxxxXxxxX

"I'll have another one."

I ordered my third drink, or was it my fourth? I frowned and decided to push the thought away, it wasn't a difficult thing to do. Bright lights flared in every direction, stunning and pulsating on par with the deafening music. A boisterous band held the vast room's attention, a sea of bodies swayed to the music.

And I couldn't help notice how alone I felt and at the same time not alone at all.

I downed the rest of my drink. I felt good, better than I had since waking up in the hospital bed in Santa Barbra.

"One more-"

I broke off when a hand touched my shoulder and the scent of heady aftershave hit me like a fresh tide. A tremor rocked through me, my skin tingled, warming all over. I hated that he had this effect on me. I hated that even without turning to look, I knew exactly who it was.

"You've had more than enough for one night, Rose."

Dimitri.

Damn it. How did he—Damn it. His voice was a shock and sent a thrill through me I hadn't expected.

I tossed my sleek dark hair behind my shoulder, hoping he'd get the message. He and Abe were in over their heads.

"What do you think you're doing? Everyone's worried." His lips were suddenly near the hollow beneath my ear. "I know you're upset but this isn't the way to solve it."

For a moment I imagined his lips on my skin where his breath hit me and felt inexplicably warn all of a sudden.

But then I remembered the reason I was here.

"What's there to solve," I scoffed and waved the bartender for a refill. "You and the old man seemed to have it all figured out."

His fingers slid down my arm to the base of my wrist, somehow sending pointless shivers through me. "You know that's not true," he spoke levelly.

"To be honest, I don't know much of anything lately."

I turned around and faced him.

The air around us seemed to warm up as I met his deep dark eyes. Whoa. He was furious. Despite the calm controlled tone of his voice, his anger rang through loud and clear. Something shifted inside of me in reaction to that. I realized I kind of wanted to make him angry.

"We're going home."

I shouldn't have been distracted by our close proximity, by his heady aftershave, by his damn god like looks. But I was.

"I'm not going anywhere," I hissed.

He weighed my reaction for a moment, something flashed in his eyes but it was gone to soon for me to articulate.

"Fine."

Huh? "Fine." I stormed away, inexplicably more furious than before.

I shouldn't have been surprised to see him follow me through the crowd of close packed bodies.

"How many drinks have you had tonight?"

I rolled my eyes. His older and wiser attitude made me feel like a misfit child scolded for putting a hand in the cookie jar.

"Does it matter? You'll probably just go off to Abe so the two of you can stage your next plan of action."

We were surrounded by a vast sea of bodies but the only thing he seemed to notice was me. Lights flashed all around us, somehow meeting the room's obstreperous tempo. I noticed the shadows that danced across his bare skin. He was clad in dark navy jeans and a dark purple V-neck that emphasized the strong lean muscles of his chest.

"I like this song."

Dimitri looked surprised, whether it was my sudden change of heart or my admission I couldn't tell.

I figured he was so not on board with this, which was to bad, really. I planned on making this night one he would never forget.

_Just shoot for the stars  
>If it feels right<br>Then aim for my heart  
>If you feel like<br>And take me away, and make it okay  
>I swear I'll behave<br>You wanted control  
>So we waited<br>I put on a show  
>Now I make it<br>You say I'm a kid  
>My ego is big<br>I don't give a shit  
>And it goes like this<em>

"One dance, Comrade."

His gaze held mine, and a funny look came into his eyes, one that I couldn't quite fathom. I arched an eyebrow as if daring him to resist me and then to my outright shock his arms shot out in one lithe movement and took hold of me. His arms were strong, packed with muscle but not enough to be considered bulky. Regardless, I was surprised at how at ease I immediately felt in his embrace.

The music blared around us deafeningly, but it was the quickening of my pulse that sounded in my ears. Dimitri was full of surprises today. He pulled me to him so we were flush against each other. His deep, penetrating gaze was momentarily distracting and it took me several seconds to gather my bearings. The alcohol in my system was starting to take effect to, which certainly didn't help in that department.

I began to get in tune with the beat. I wanted to lose myself in the music, I wanted to forget about all my worries. I wanted to forget, for one night, that the beautiful being who held me in his arms probably loved me. Hell, from the way he was looking at me I knew there was no probably about it.

_Take me by the tongue  
>And I'll know you<br>Kiss me 'til you're drunk  
>And I'll show you<br>All the moves like Jagger  
>I got the moves like Jagger<br>I got the mooooooves...like Jagger  
>I don't need to try to control you<br>Look into my eyes and I'll own you  
>With them moves like jagger<br>I got the moves like jagger  
>I got the mooooooves...like jagger<em>

I felt a grin light up my face and to my surprise Dimitri was smiling too. He was watching me. My skin felt warm all over and I wasn't sure if it was from the heat of being reckless and alive or the way Dimitri's eyes never left mine, that was a heat of its own kind.

_Take me by the tongue  
>And I'll know you<br>Kiss me 'til you're drunk  
>And I'll show you<br>All the moves like Jagger  
>I got the moves like Jagger<br>I got the mooooooves...like Jagger  
>I don't even try to control you<br>Look into my eyes and I'll own you  
>With them moves like Jagger<br>I got the moves like Jagger  
>I got the mooooooves...like Jagger<em>

I lost myself in the blaring music the way I wanted to and before long I was in Dimitri's arms. I circled my arms around his neck and returned his smile.

I swallowed when I realized my gaze had wandered to his lips.

_You want to know how to make me smile  
>Take control own me just for the night<br>And if I share my secret  
>You're gonna have to keep it<br>Nobody else can see this  
>So watch and learn<br>I won't show you twice  
>Head to toe, ooh baby, rub me right<br>But if I share my secret  
>You're gonna have to keep it<br>Nobody else can see this  
>And it goes like this<em>

Dimitri caressed away a lock of long dark hair from my face. His fingers brushed my cheek and I got the feeling he wasn't the only one who would remember this night. Both of us were breathing hard now, grinning like idiots. And I was laughing. For a few minutes it was just me and Dimitri and the uncertainty that always seemed to plague us was denuded.

His hand found mine in the ensuing chaos around us and pulled me close to his hard, perfect chest.  
><em><br>Take me by the tongue  
>And I'll know you<br>Kiss me til' you're drunk  
>And I'll show you<br>All the moves like Jagger  
>I got the moves like Jagger<br>I got the mooooooves...like Jagger  
>I don't even try to control you<br>Look into my eyes and I'll own you  
>With them moves like Jagger<br>I got the moves like Jagger  
>I got the mooooooves...like Jagger.<br>_  
>My heart was beating erratically inside my chest and his haggard breathing told me I wasn't alone on that note.<p>

Dimitri's penetrating gaze regarded me with wonder and amazement. I could only imagine what he was seeing, my hair was a mess, the strands on my forehead taped against my skin, the short dark dress, which I had to admit, wasn't covering much.

The adrenaline slowly faded from within me, my blood stopped singing, and the smile slowly slipped away.

Dimitri offered me his hand.

This time, I took it.

XxxxXxxxX

Obviously the band wasn't actually Maroon 5 but that song always makes me think about Dimitri and Rose.

I shall update again tonight, or tomorrow morning..

Meanwhile, I'm going to work on the last chapter of Happily Never After. :)


	20. Chapter 20

***~*~Chapter 20~*~***

**Soundtrack**  
><strong>Enchanted - Taylor Swift<strong>  
><strong>It will Rain - Bruno Mars<strong>  
><strong>Only you - Alex Band<strong>

**XxxxXxxxX**

**Rose**

I could feel the sun's glare on my eyes and sullenly wished for it to disappear. The echo of last night's escapade still rang in my mind and I felt foolish. Foolish and stupid. My my head throbbed all to painfully and my mouth felt parched, like I hadn't drank water in days. I tugged the blanket entangled over my body over my head when I realized my sheets were were a lustrous silky material that my skin absolutely adored. But I knew my sheets were cotton, soft and light against my skin, the one composed over my body was equally soft yet I knew there was a distinctive difference between the two. Casting away the sheer silk like material and ignoring the queasy feeling escalating in the pit of my stomach I took a hesitant breath and opened my eyes. The sunlight pouring through the windows was thoroughly unpleasant. My mouth slowly parted in surprise as I took in my opulent surroundings. I wasn't in the familiar confines of my unkept pool house.

Okay, I thought, don't panic. Yet. What happened last night? Waking up in a long T-shirt I'd never laid eyes on before didn't help matters any. My navy dress?The least of my worries. I hoped. Through the fuzzy layer of confusion that seemed to make thinking a process more difficult than it ought to have been, I tried to dredge of the events of last night. A club. The drinks. Being pressed up against the hard contours of Dimitri's body. The enraged emotions I couldn't seem to escape. Abe...Tasha Ozera. And then, just like that it all came crashing together.

Shit.

I climbed out of the ridiculously comfortable bed and paced along the dark oak floor room was very open, spacious and had a few windows. I stopped at the slate mahogany table which consisted of several drawers. There was a few belongings spread a top of it, perfume and cologne, a battered copy of an old Western book, huh, and a photograph of Dimitri...and me...I picked up the frame hesitantly, and held the photo. The me, in the picture looked implicitly euphoric, more than that I thought, completely content, and so did Dimitri. My arms were slung around his back in a casual embrace and his arms held me up, securing the legs wrapped around his waist. I'd seen pictures like this before but it was still a shock I couldn't exactly shake off. I looked around the large room once more, already knowing who it belonged to and suspecting I knew why too.

I returned the photo back to its rightful place and contemplated what to do. I was faintly aware of the smell of growling in my stomach, okay really aware but I had other things on my mind to keep me distracted. Like the fact I was clad in a T-shirt with cryptic writing. My eyes flew open. Had Dimitri and I-No, no way. Of course not. But the anxious beat of my heart rate gave away my panic. Even if we had done something, I thought, it's not anything we hadn't done already. I was trying to assure myself it wasn't a big deal, but it was. The memory of the ring rose in my mind, Dimitri setting up a room with falling snow from the ceiling, the sheets in the centre of the room. That certainly proved the two of us had...

I opened the door, surprised to see the bathroom before me. I washed up quickly, startled to see my hair in such a wild disarray and did a hasty brush with my fingers. Decent, I returned to the bedroom. My bedroom...That would definitely take some getting used to. I opened the wardrobe, still sensitive to the sun's glare and was relieved to find rows upon rows of clothing. I through on the first thing my fingers found, which luckily for me was a pair of grey sweats.

I sprinted towards the door. The smell of breakfast hit me first, a strong of wave hunger took over and I followed the palatable scent. I walked down the hall, curious in spite of myself. I tried to imagine myself waking up in this apartment like the natural occurrence it was meant to be, waking up next to Dimitri...Who I still wasn't sure how I felt about. I didn't like Abe and him restraining my arms, refusing me the chance to face the mysterious Tasha Ozera. Though after last night's escapade I wasn't sure I could blame them, not after the chaotic way I'd reacted. It seemed like a silly reaction now but last night, oh, there was no mistaking how enraged I was. Maybe they were right to keep me away from her, I thought bitterly, for her, not me.

I came to a stop at the kitchen entrance and couldn't help it when I bit my lip nervously. Old habits, I hoped.

Dimitri was setting the table when I came trancing in and seemed to find nothing out of the ordinary with me standing there, half bare in our kitchen and squirming under his thoughtful gaze. I couldn't exactly discern the look on his face, except that it was filled with a fascination of sorts and somehow placated me in light of the certain events. I noticed he was clad in a red flannel shirt and sweat pants that hung loosely around his waist. My pulse quickened.

"Good morning, Roza."

Inexplicably stunned and unable to speak I merely stood there, starring at him like a complete utter moron. I couldn't exactly help it, I felt like I was in a surreal moment, lost in time, starring at my six foot tall Russian boyfriend, in our kitchen...

He regarded me with a tender expression. "How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," I said, finally able to find my voice. I immediately realized how stiff and formal I probably sounded and internally kicked myself.

He still looked concerned but smiled at me nonetheless, his brown eyes warm and affectionate. He told me to take a seat while he finished up placing breakfast at the table. I abided quickly. I couldn't hide my shock as I took in the wide assortment of food he prepared and he laughed quietly, amused by my expression. I wondered how early he'd woken up to do this and then rather uneasily pondered about where he might have woken up this morning.

He misread the uncomfortable look on my face as fear for his wonderfully assorted breakfast. Although I had to admit I was kind of hesitant of the black bread, the rest looked absolutely mouth watering. "Don't worry," a smile played in his eyes. "These are all your favorites."

"You didn't have to go to all this trouble," I said, flustered that he knew more about me than I did, even if it was over something so trivial as food.

He arched an eyebrow, "Rose," he said my name knowingly and my lips twitched to their own accord, "I've never seen anyone eat like you. The neighbors probably think I'm feeding a T. rex."

My jaw dropped and I was laughing. He knew how to drive a point home. Even with amnesia I knew my voracious appetite was otherworldly. "In that case you won't mind if this T. rex," I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes, "hogs all this savory bacon for herself."

He smiled, it was a nice smile I thought and I marveled over how easy it was to sit here and talk and laugh. How normal it felt, like we'd been doing this for years and I decided then, I kind of liked normal. In that moment when he smiled at me I also realized I wasn't Rose Hathaway-the girl who walked out of her grave, or the girl with severe amnesia-I was just Rose. Unless-the queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach returned-had we ripped each other's clothes off last night? Was I really warming up to some guy I barely knew?

I glanced at my piling plate of food and suddenly lost my appetite.

"Rose?"

"What happened last night?" I asked quietly. My heart was heart racing and I had a feeling I wasn't the only one who could hear it.

He was deadly earnest when he spoke. "Everyone was worried about you after you left," he averted his gaze and I knew he was choosing his words carefully. "No one knew where you were." His eyes focused on mine again and the story came pouring out of him. "I thought you would come back after blowing off some steam...When you didn't I called in a few favors. That's how I found you last night and you were..." He grimaced slightly. "You were upset, you were drunk...angry, passionate," I heard the note of awe in his voice and to my embarrassment my cheeks flooded with color.

"And then?" I murmured, refusing to be sidetracked.

"And then we danced," he laughed suddenly, "I guess for me it was more of an attempt, but you were..." he trailed off, but the way he was looking at me left little doubt to the mind what that meant. "Anyways, you didn't want to go home. So I brought you here instead, to our apartment. Though I'm sure you've figured that part out already."

I nodded. "That much I can remember but..." My face was burning up again and I worried I might actually faint. The hangover was still strong after all but the power of Dimitri's presence was sometimes more than I could handle. "I don't usually wake up wearing your clothes," I grimaced, mortified as soon as the words escaped me.

His eyes flickered to the shirt I wore and then he laughed.

I glowered. Looks like the joke only worked one way.

"Sorry," he said softly though he didn't sound sorry at all. His expression was sincere though, like his velvet like voice, which confused me. "If you knew the irony of that statement you'd be laughing right along with me."

My jaw plopped open in the perfect 'o' shape.

"Nothing happened last night, I assure you." He was serious again. "You got some er, food on your dress." By food I was sure he meant vomit. "I thought you'd be more comfortable in the shirt. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I would never take advantage of you in that inebriated state."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn't even realized how worried I was about the whole thing. It wasn't that I didn't find him attractive because believe me, I did. But it just wouldn't have been right. The results of my situation also reminded me of Dawn. I hadn't been drunk but he'd certainly wanted to have to taken advantage of me. I felt ashamed for getting in that situation again.

I mustered a smile that he returned with his tender gaze. "Thanks, really. I reacted...unreasonably. I thought I could drink my sorrows away but I just ended up making a fool of myself."

"We all have our moments of weakness," Dimitri said gently, "it's how we recover from them that matters...and I know it's a lot to take in but you're strong, Roza and you're not alone. Never forget that."

He was so sincere, so earnest, it was hard to believe that less than twenty four hours ago I had doubted him. "Okay, Comrade," my voice low and solemn, even though I was attempting to lighten the mood.

He sliced me a piece of black bread and spread lots of butter on it. "I made it myself. Try it."

I took a cautious sized bite and was surprised at how amazing it was. Mmm. "You may have just rocked my world, Belikov."

He laughed quietly and I wished I hadn't been struck by his beauty right then. It was bad enough that he'd held my hair back last night while I was puking my guts out but now he was flashing me sexy irresistible grins and soft enchanting laughter.

"I'm sorry," I said suddenly.

He looked puzzled and set down a glass of orange juice. "For what?"

"Last night," I held his gaze. "For making you worry. It was selfish. I'm sorry and...I think I might even understand why you guys don't want me to see Tasha..." I swallowed the hate and revulsion her name ignited with me. "I don't think I'm ready to-to face her. Yet. I reacted chaotically. I'm sorry," I said softly and I meant it. I looked away from him, feeling terrible. Last night I had been a wreck, an ugly wreck and it had proved how unprepared I was to face Tasha.

I was startled to feel Dimitri's hand close over mine. My pulse quickened. I met his earnest gaze, filled with deep tenderness and hurt. I didn't understand the latter emotion. "Don't apologize. You've been through so much," his hand tightened around mine and I was even more startled at how warm his skin felt against mine. "And I'm happy I had the chance to take care of you, in light of the circumstances, of course."

I was touched by his kindness. And scared. Scared of how much of my heart he already carried and how soon it would take him to reclaim it again. Was this love? I wondered. This tip of the ice berg feeling?

He removed his hand and we resumed our breakfast silently and moved on to some lighter topics. Dimitri knew how to make me laugh, all the right things to say and everything I said in turn seemed to make him smile or deeply amuse him. He brought out the playful side of me I was getting more and more accustomed to. When we were both fully satiated I helped him clean up the table and do the dishes despite his protests.

I was drying the plates when he caught my hand in his, an intense look in his eyes.

"Rose, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"Shoot."

He gently tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "Will you go out with me?"

I almost laughed but the deep intense look on his face conveyed how deeply earnest he was.

"Go out with you like on a date?" I asked, mystified.

He nodded. "Like we were meeting each other for the very first time."

I glanced around our apartment, wary of his intense gaze, my skin tingling from when he'd brushed my hair away from my face. "Easier said than done." But as soon as the words left my lips I reconsidered. I'd been getting to know Dimitri all week, yes. But it was his burning adoration for me that sent me running the last time and just before, during breakfast I had begun to feel under that beautiful gaze. All because he already knew me, probably everything there was to possibly know. It was overwhelming. But a date? Dinner and a movie, something along those lines. That I could handle.

"Okay," I said, he didn't seem surprised. "But no funny business." He was awfully chaste I realized but that only made his touch all the more difficult to endure.

He smiled down at me.

We'd established the premises for our date and I was curious to know where but he wasn't giving anything away. Later, after giving me a thorough tour of the opulent apartment we shared together for two years, I decided to make an escape. I couldn't remember the last time I'd blushed so much-at least not since the accident-and needed some time alone to collect my thoughts.

After a hot relaxing shower that freed the aching muscles in my back I stumbled upon the spacious closet that held most of my clothes. I meant to grab an outfit quickly but was sidetracked by the several dresses and gowns I owned. Some screamed off the racks for me to where them and I knew if the opportunity arose I would take it in a heart beat. My hands closed around a soft lavender dress when a sharp intake of breath alarmed me that I wasn't alone.

Dimitri's eyes were wide and I was naked, all except for the racy red lingerie I wore. I quickly grabbed the dress I'd been admiring a moment ago, in a feeble attempt to cover my body.

"See something you like?"

I could feel my face burning up, but I wasn't sure if it was from indignation or the way Dimitri's gaze hungrily caressed my bare skin. He seemed to snap out of it suddenly and looked a little chagrined if not stunned. I was glad I wasn't the only one.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"Dimitri!"

He laughed quietly, a glint in his dark eyes, "I'm going."

I exhaled a breath of relief when he disappeared. I heard the water in the washroom go off and waited for my hammering heart to slow down.

And then I laughed, whether from shock or excitement I couldn't say.

But I decided to go with the lavender dress.

It was a strapless number and made of several light layers of soft material. It reached mid thigh and I wore a pair of intricate styled flats to go with it. My hair was still damp and I left it down to dry. I called Lissa shortly thereafter. She was ecstatic and asked me if I was up for a day of shopping. I agreed and we made plans to meet up later. I left a note for Dimitri on the nightstand.

_Out with Lissa._  
><em>Looking forward to our date.<em>  
><em>- Rose<em>

Satisfied with my messy scrawl I headed off in a cab to meet Lissa.

**XxxxXxxxX**

"Hey."

Christian Ozera grinned and his arms wrapped around me in a tight hug that I meekly tried to squirm away from.

"Hey, yourself," I objected dryly. "No chick flick moments."

Christian choked on a laugh. He like everyone else was ecstatic to see me alive and well. My witty barbs were the only way to hide how distinctly uncomfortable it all made me feel but I suppose if the roles were reversed I would be full of hugs too. We stepped away from each other, regarding each other with wary affection. Christian was clad in khakis grey shorts and a light blue white stripe shirt that reached his elbows. He left a few buttons undone near the collar's edge and had a pair of dark shades hanging out of his breast pocket.

"Going somewhere?" I asked, curious.

He nodded. "Helping Dimitri with a few things. He needs some extra man power."

"Oh," I laughed, "So now you count as man power?"

He wagged his eyebrows. "I wouldn't be so quick to assume things, you know," he tried to keep a serious tone but failed miserably. "I could probably take you on, Hathaway."

"You think you're funny?"

Christian grinned. "I think I'm adorable." He sounded fairly serious.

I rolled my eyes.

Just then Lissa entered in a white floral dress, with her sleek blond hair cascading down her shoulders. Her face lit up when she saw me and I felt a protective swell inside of me, as well as shock, it was like watching a kid's face glow on Christmas morning. That was going to take some getting use to.

"Hey there, Liss. Did you know Christian here has man power? It's okay," I said in a sage like voice, "I was surprised too."

Christian snorted.

Lissa through her arms around me, "I heard about last night. I was so worried. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, waving away her concern. "Don't worry about it."

"Well next time bring me with you, I can still dance, you know."

I frowned in confusion, not understanding her seemingly stubborn admission. "What am I missing here?"

Christian rubbed the back of his neck and I knew I was definitely out of the loop. "Lissa doesn't drink, that's all."

"Oh...Well I promise to bring you along next time I do something stupid and dangerous."

Christian rolled his eyes, "That ladies and gentlemen is the Rose Hathaway, we know and love."

Lissa sighed.

I punched his in the shoulder lightly and he yelped.

I grinned. "Looks like you're not so tough after all, big boy."

Lissa was looking at us with a look of fascination that kind of reminded me of Dimitri's awe struck tone this morning when he described my reckless escapade last night. Apparently Christian and I were notorious for full fledged banter. That wasn't hard to believe but I wondered how it might be perceived to Lissa. Her best friend back from the dead-sans her memory-exchanging heavy sarcasm with her boyfriend. Was she happy? Wistful? Her expression seemed to bore both emotions but luckily the happy part seemed to win out over the other.

After an affectionate kiss on the cheek for Lissa and a mean hair ruffle for me, Christian headed off to do his 'man power' tasks with Dimitri.

Meanwhile, Lissa and I shopped around Missoula. Talking with her easy and more than once I found myself wondering how I remembered her at first sight. It was odd, I thought, but if I could remember Lissa, even if it was just her name than surely the rest would come back to, "In time," Dr. Sage had assured me. I just hoped she was right. After all summer wouldn't last forever.

Lissa slung an arm around my shoulder, "That's your store," she exclaimed excitedly.

My store, reminded me of a dance club, however, with it's exotic flashing lights and dark inner confined. A wide array of gorgeous dresses greeted me and it didn't take long for me to figure out why this was my kind of store. Did my date with Dimitri qualify for slutty dress? I wasn't sure. This called for a second opinion.

Lissa gasped. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Of course you need a dress," she squealed her delight and I laughed. She was adorable. "Where is he taking you?" She asked over the loud music.

"He won't say," I admitted.

"Oh," she pursed her lips. "I don't suppose you remember your first date? Maybe he's taking you there."

I admired an exotic red dress. "No, but I'm sure it won't be hard to find something suitable for the this hot weather."

Lissa agreed and I ended up buying a few dresses. She bought a couple dresses too but a couple times I caught her looking in the mirror, touching her stomach and smoothing the wrinkles out of her dress. My suspicions were affirmed later we entered an H&M. Lissa held a tiny pink sock that seemed to end up in the ladies scarves section in, her face was aglow with joy. It was a big giveaway. But I wasn't sure if I should say anything. I had a feeling would tell me when she was ready.

We found a nice spot to sit in the food plaza. I was famished but there a few things on my mind.

"Lissa?"

She seemed to notice the forced casualness of my voice and looked up, concern echoing in the depths of those jade green eyes.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Tasha," she said, voice grim, mirroring that hate that name often seemed to ignite.

"No," I said, though I definitely had some questions about her. There was something more pressing I needed to know. "Actually, it's more about you and Christian."

Her lips parted in surprise, but I thought I saw a flash of fear in her eyes.

"That night..." Crap. This was harder than I expected. "Janine and Abe gave me most of the details. I know it was your engagement party..." She nodded but there was still something wistful to her, as if she was forcing herself to look at me.

"I know my..." I was on the verge of saying something like near death and decided to start over. "I know the accident must have ruined everything but I couldn't help notice there's no official date for the wedding and well, I kind of wondered why..."

Lissa averted her gaze, her solemn green eyes had a far away look about them. In that moment she looked years beyond her age. "You're right," she said at last. "There's no date."

Just like I'd feared. "Why?" I asked, trying to make voice as gentle as possible. "You guys love each other, anyone can see it..."

Her chest heaved and her expression contorted in pain. "I do love, Christian. I love him so much but I don't think I can get married, Rose."

At my astonished look she went on in that same measured tone of hers. "You don't know remember what that night was like but..." Something in my chest tightened, I hated seeing the sadness in her thoughtful gaze, knowing I was the cause. "I do. So do the others. It's why they don't talk about it," she added. "It's because life without you changed all of us and...It changed me. This wedding, it's just a symbol of that night. I can't go back to that."

"But..." I slowly groped for the right words, shocked by hers. It didn't seem fair. It made me angry. "You and Christian deserve a happy wedding. And you know that I'll be there, no matter what. You can forget that night."

She smiled, it was a sad wistful smile that broke my heart. "I can never forget that night, Rose."

**XxxxXxxxX**

**Review!**

**"We all have our moments of weakness, it's how we recover from them that matters and I know it's a lot to take in but you're not alone Roza. Never forget that. I love you."**

**Oh my god. "I-er, love bacon."**

**-Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to put that in there? A lot. Trust me on this one. :) There's was more to Rose's reaction but it revealed to much but I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. That was probably my most solemn attempt at writing in the last few months, so now I shall go watch Barney Stinson be a man whore while I pass the time anxiously awaiting your reviews.**

**Leave me some love, or hate, or inexplicable LOL's..."aha, ya you know who you are..." Or criticism, suggestions, whatever...I may not take suggestions right away, I've done that in the past and the story just goes up and down but I usually do use them later.**

**Adrian will be back eventually. He's integral to this story even though he's not around lately, so don't fret. I love him too! I won't shoot him like the crazy guy in Happily Never After (another story of mine here on ff) ahahaha, c'mon you have to admit it was kind of funny. "I bet you're thinking Buria, where's your heart?"**

**Trust me, it's in there. There are times when I just want Dimitri to shout "I LOVE YOU, ROSE." I'm rambling, sorry!**

**And on the final note I must apologize for the short chapters. I sort of lost faith in this story but it's coming back.**

**Oh & happy new years!**

**xoxo Buria :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**WOOT! It's been like forever since I've updated and I've basically just been starring at my mini laptop screen ever since…Writer's block is a bitch. Although according to my creative writing teacher, there is no such thing…I contest to that…Anyways, I'm so sorry to each and every one of you. This is pretty short but I had a request to update and even if this isn't my strongest chapter it's better than nothing.**

**Chapter 21**

"Hi. I'm Rosemarie Hathaway."

The tall girl in the mirror grimaced. She looked good and everything, in a knee length lavender dress with her dark long hair cascading around her shoulders but she had no idea who she was.

A nervous sigh escaped me. "I'm Rose, it's nice to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine."

I yelped and turned around, only to find myself looking into a pair of stark blue eyes, which held an unmistakable note of amusement.

"Wh-what are you doing in here?" I exclaimed, both angry and surprised, and yeah, embarrassed. Might as well admit there's a bit of that too.

"Your night and shining armor awaits you outside in your carriage," he said, a sardonic smirk curving his lips.

I exhaled in exasperation. "You-"

I was about to say something along the lines of awful but suddenly his eyes, steel and ice blue, made me freeze up all over. He had _her_ eyes. "Just," I said slowly, trying to shrug off my stiff muscles, "shut up."

A crease appeared between his eyes. "You okay?"

"Dimitri's out there," I say simply.

Christian nodded. "Yep. He seemed pretty eager to me. I'm telling you, that's a keeper, that one."

I sighed.

"Rose," he said, and I caught the tiniest hint of apprehension in his voice. I looked up at him. "You've done this a thousand times."

I surprised myself by laughing, it was a bleak sound. "Yeah," I said, "except for the part where I haven't. Because I don't remember ever having have been with him. I don't how to do this. And his family," I breathed, "I don't-I wouldn't even know what to say."

Christian shakes his head ruefully. "Rose, you've got to start looking on the bright side of things. Just because you don't know who you are—well, it doesn't mean that they don't. You've got to stop acting like you're going through this alone. We're all here for you."

"It's not that simple and you know it. You didn't wake up in Santa Barbra. I did."

"You're right," he says, "I didn't. But I did watch everyone go through hell, and I went through it myself—because we all thought you were dead."

"That's not fair," I mutter, avoiding his eyes.

"Do you really want to go down that road?"

_No_, I think. _I really don't_. Life hadn't exactly been treating me nicely of late but somehow I did end up back in Palm Springs with people who I knew loved me. And here I was fretting about it.

"How do I look?" I ask, because we're wasting time chatting and because I've kept Dimitri waiting. For a long, long time.

He smiles genuinely. "You look like Rose Hathaway."

"That is sort of what I was going for," I say, with an eye roll, because even though his words sound silly, they fill me with a wave of calm.

"Good luck."

"Thanks, I'll probably need all the help I can in that department."

Christian smiles ruefully. "Go."

xxxXXXxxx

Dimitri was waiting for me at the dock, his back was to me as he faced the lake.

For a moment I imagined—no, I remembered—walking towards him, only I didn't hesitate when I saw him and I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face against his back under the twilight reflecting the lake. I—or me, from the memory—could imagine his smile, and pressed myself closer to him. The image was startling and made all kinds of emotions war within me, but for tonight I would push them away.

"You look beautiful."

Dimitri faced me, the movement made my heart race, a half smile shaped his lips.

"Thank you," I said, and when I realized we were merely starring at each other I cleared my throat. "So where to, comrade?"

Dimitri stiffened for a moment and I couldn't be sure but I thought he said, "Just like Rose."

"I was hoping you would agree to see my family again, they really do love you."

"Oh," I say, this isn't entirely unexpected, "Of course I'll see them. They're lovely people."

Dimitri offers his hand. I take it.

The Belikovs are eager and excited to show me pictures of Dimitri and I, and pretty soon I'm caught up in all the hugs and tears that come with reuniting with the people who probably knew me better than I know myself. I find myself in the arms of Dimitri's mother and sisters more than once and sometimes I hold Dimitri's niece Zoya in my arms while the others swoon. And occasionally I meet Dimitri's warm and affectionate gaze and feel something stir inside of me.

He catches my eyes while the others are invested in something Paul said, and cocks his head towards some unknown place. I follow him.

"C'mon," he says, "I want to show you something."

To my surprise he leads me to the garage.

My gaze follows his curiously as he walks towards a large red punching bag. He throws a pair of red gloves at me and I just catch them in time before they fall.

"Punch me."

I laugh out loud, "Excuse me?"

Dimitri arches an eyebrow as if to taunt to me. "I promise not to hurt you."

"Unbelievable," I mutter, but I shrug the gloves on anyways. "You know dinner and a movie would have sufficed too."

He rolled his eyes. "Trust me. It's not your thing."

This for some reason agitates me, that he knows such things about me that I don't really know myself.

"What are you waiting for?"

I realize I'm just starring at him, like before on the dock when he told me I was beautiful, and take a deep breath. I know if I hit it will probably have no effect but for some inexplicable reason I can't bring myself to hit him. "I can't," I mutter weakly. "Maybe we should start with the punching bag."

He shakes his head, "We don't need to."

Again, I'm irritated over the fact that he thinks he knows me so well. I had some practice in Santa Barbra's, the Sage's had a punching bag in their gym and I had pounded at it mercilessly. "Fine. Below the neck?"

He nods. "Give me your best shot."

A low, annoyed sound leaves my throat. "Wouldn't dream of holding back."

I launch my fists forward and Dimitri catches it in his hand, and I do the same thing with my other fist but he catches it again. If you thought I was irritated with him before…I keep hitting him, or attempting to at least. My face is hot from all the exertion I'm putting myself through but I can't bring myself to stop.

"You're holding back."

I snort incredulously. "How about you let me the judge of that."

He grins. "Oh, Roza. This is nothing, just you wait."

Hearing him say my name—my nickname—rubs off me the wrong way and before I can think about what I'm about to do I lift my arm without a second thought and hit Dimitri square in the face with all my might.

Dimitri stumbles backwards and nearly takes me with him and in my attempt to steady him I do go down with him. I pant against his skin and find myself flush against the contours of his hard lean body.

"Crap—I'm sorry—"

Dimitri reaches out, almost reverently and brushes a lock of my hair away from my face. I look at him, startled and fully aware of him and the heat in his eyes. His fingers are like silk against my skin and I don' t really mind that there touching me.

Dimitri.

"Dinner's ready!"

Olena Belikov's voice makes me jump and I climb off of Dimitri's body, feeling awkward and embarrassed.

"You two alright?"

We both look up at Olena, there's a small smile on her face that makes me feel like more than what was going on was happening in here.

"Yes mama," says Dimitri. I sneak a glance at Dimitri and sure enough he's completely at ease. "Everything's alright."

_Oh, everything's alright_, I think_. _

Except I don't meet Dimitri's gaze for the rest of the night because I can still feel his fingers, warm and gentle smoothing my hair back and I can perfectly imagine the way he looks at me, full of love and adoration.

And suddenly amnesia is the worst of my troubles.


	22. Chapter 22

**Thanks for the reviews lovely's. Another short chappie. **

**Chapter 22**

"_Stay away from Mason."_

_Rowan burst out laughing. My nails dug into my palms painfully as the anger inside me grew. _

"_Your boyfriend owes me. And I'm not the kind of guy who lets unpaid debts go."_

"_I can get you the money," I say, and hear the promise in my voice. Janine will be furious but if it meant keeping Mason safe, well, it was a chance I was willing to take. Mason had obviously gotten mixed up in the wrong crowd as a way to cope with his father's death but now he was in deep trouble and I have to protect him at all costs. "All you have to do is leave him alone."_

_Rowan snickered but a moment later he paused to look at me, as if to see if I was telling the truth with his own eyes. For a moment he seemed satisfied but then something flickered in his eyes that I didn't like. "I changed my mind, I don't want the money," he said, and his eyes ran up and down my body. _

_I fought a shiver. "That's not part of the deal."_

_He shrugged a shoulder, looking unconcerned and took a step closer to me, his movements lazy yet determined. "But this way your boy will be free and you and I," he said and moved close enough to tipp my chin of will his thumb, "will have lots of fun. I promise."_

_In that moment I finally understood why impulse control wasn't my thing. I slapped Rowan's hand away only to find myself flung backwards on the bed. _

"_Little bitch."_

_Rowan's breath touched my skin and reeked of alcohol. I shoved against him with my body and when he tried to kiss me I bit down on his lips hard enough to draw blood. I tasted it in my mouth. _

_Rowan screamed and let out a string of profanities. I wiped the blood off my lips with the back of my hand and at that exact moment when the door flew open and my best friend entered the room. His gaze went over Rowan and I on the bed, I could almost hear the pieces the pieces click together in his head and when they did boy, was he mad._

"_Get off of her!"_

_Panic filled me, pure, fresh panic. Mason was tall and strong but I didn't want to see him test his skills against Rowan. Hell, I didn't even want to test my skills against panic but I could hardly sit by and watch the two battle it out. Unfortunately Mason had other plans. His fist connected with Rowan's face. Rowan shrieked in pain but was in on Mason in a flash and curled tightly in his hand was a blade, a flash of silver. _

_No. No. No. "Mason, stop!" I exclaimed. How had things gotten so out of control? "Don't hurt him!" I shrieked at Rowan and tried to stop him but hands were suddenly pulling me back, voices warning be to stay back. _

_I kept shrieking Mason's name, and for Rowan to leave him alone and that's when I saw the blood, the huge gash of red liquid covering Mason's lower stomach. And then I was screaming and I couldn't stop._

_Mason's gaze met mine for the last time and the world came to an end. _

"Rose."

_I shoved against the arms holding me back, threatened and screamed to kill them after I promised to kill Rowan._

"Rose! Wake up, please!"

_Screams tore free from my throat. Mason was gone. Nothing else mattered. Blood. Dark, black blood. Mason's blue eyes—usually full of light and kindness—were slipping shut._

"Rose!"

My eyes flew open. Dark chocolate eyes starred down at me, full of concern and fear. My heart was racing, pounding hard under my skin. A strange sound came out of my throat.

"Dimitri," I breath, closing my eyes tightly but I can still see the blood.

"It's okay," he says, holding my gaze. "It's okay, Rose. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Everything's okay."

I'm shaking all over, tremors rolling down my back and for the first time I notice his large firm hands are wrapped around my arms and I see the red line going down his face. Even though there's no blood I still feel terrible.

"I'm sorry," I lament, hesitantly raising a hand to touch the cut, fingers shaking.

Dimitri catches my hand and cradles it against his face. "I'm not," he murmurs, so quietly I'm not sure if I imagined it or not.

We sit there, masked in the glow of the bedside lamp, until my heart rate returns to its normal level and I feel my eyes turn heavy but I know I'm terrified to close my eyes.

"Do you need something?" Dimitri asked, voice gentle. "Can I get you some water?"

I shake my head. I only want one thing and it can't hurt to ask since I'm to shaken up to care. "I don't want to be alone."

"I'll stay as long as you need me."

XxxxXxxxX

Thanks for reading! Can someone comment on my writing and let me know what I need to improve on? It's been a while and I feel I'm doing a not so great job of it. Do Rose and Dimitri's interactions feel real at all? Or is it just like 'meh?' An honest opinion would be greatly appreciated. Have a great night. And I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I know that ticks people off but I want the morning after to be a surprise.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long. I got accepted to a couple universities recently so I'm just waiting for one more acceptance letter aha but I've got two more months of working my ass off. One more month until the Golden Lily-I'm terrified-I **_**THOUGHT**_**I was going to savor the first book (wistful thinking) lol. But people have been posting dramatic, epic spoilers of the Golden Lily on tumblr **

.com/** and I thought it was fake so I read it and I was like this is pretty good!...& then I realized it was real & I pretty much sobbed and died. I'm not one for spoilers, coughs* you've been warned...**

**Kay, anyways...I wrote chapter 23...Enjoy. I know it's been a while so I don't blame anyone for feeling lost. Heck, I'm just makin it up as I go.**

**Btw, this isn't The Vow…those kind of expectations are gonna throw me off balance…**

**Chapter 23**

I was in Dimitri's arms.

My fingers were splayed out against his skin, where I could feel his steady heartbeat and being in his firm embrace sent my own pulse in a frantic jog.

Dimitri, my mind whispered. This is Dimitri.

The same Dimitri I dreamt about in Santa Barbra, the Dimitri who brought me home, the Dimitri who was always there when I needed him. He was still asleep, deeply too, I could tell. His hair fell into his eyes and across his face and I felt the overwhelming need to touch him then, to brush his hair away from his face, to feel his silky hair between my fingers. He didn't stir at my touch, which I found vaguely disappointing. But I couldn't deny the content swirling inside of me; it was like being free in a sense. I didn't have to hide with Dimitri.

The tall windows cast light into our room, over Dimitri's tanned muscled arms, across his smooth cheeks, and closed eyes. It was strange seeing him so vulnerable. Usually he was so wound up and on guard, with one eye always open to protect the people he loved. But now he was completely at ease, and he looked years younger. I traced his jaw absently, skimming my fingers along his cheek. That's when I felt something shift between us.

He was watching me.

My hand froze. His gaze was hard to make sense of, he almost looked puzzled, but most evidently, he looked relieved, immensely relieved to be holding me in his firm unbreakable grasp. I waited for the panic to consume me the way it always did. But instead I felt safe, safe and inexplicably calm. As if I were in a trance and lost in the depths of those dark thoughtful eyes.

We just starred at each other, drinking in the sight of the other's features, and storing them away, holding on to the sweetness of this contented moment.

Dimitri let out an unsteady breathe and my lips twitched. He reached out to brush my hair from my face, and then he was propping himself on one elbow, looking down on me with his intense gaze.

Heart racing wildly, I was surprised to feel one hand reach up and wrap around his neck, it was almost like a stranger was in my body, acting without thinking, bringing Dimitri down to kiss me.

Dimitri's lips were gentle at first, pressing against my mouth with caution, yet it was amazing and sweet and wonderful. An explosion of intense desire was growing in my stomach as the seconds passed by and I was smashing my lips against his with a force that surprised us both. He groaned against my lips and I felt the press of his lean body on top of me, trapping me, and couldn't help a soft moan of my own.

I was breathing hard, my hands gripped Dimitri's arms with savage force, loving the way he held me, tightly like a life preserver. Because suddenly I couldn't bear the thought of this moment ending. I was tired of waiting, of being scared and lonely in this world I couldn't remember belonging to. And I certainly couldn't entertain the thought of losing this closeness with Dimitri, this longing to kiss him and having the feel of him against me was too good to lose.

"Roza," he murmured, his lips trailing down my jaw, sucking my throat hungrily.

His hands were on my back, bare already from my tank top riding up. I slid my hands into his hair and lost myself in his touch. It was like I wanted to drown in him, to become apart of him. Maybe I should have been scared of my own feelings. But all I felt was lust, and an unexpected need that made thinking more complicated than it should have been.

"Dimitri," I try to say around his hungry lips, but it comes out as a needy prolonged breath.

He brought his lips to mine again, and we kissed earnestly, holding onto each other tightly, exploring each other. I could feel Dimitri's racing heart beneath me and I couldn't stop wanting him. I didn't ever want to stop wanting him.

I didn't think it was even possible to want to stop. To lose this closeness, this intoxicating heat.

As it happened lately, I was wrong.

"I love you."

I gasped as our lips parted. It was like we were both under a spell and now it was broken.

And Dimitri had been the one to break it.

My face felt hot. Warm and confused and lustful, might as well admit there's some of that too.

Dimitri sensed my bewilderment, "Roza-"

"Get off me," I whispered, not chancing to see the expression my words had elicited.

Oh God, I thought. Was that me? Was all of that me?

Dimitri shifted off me, losing the feel of his body was surprisingly agonizing, but I had to do something or else I would probably lose my mind. I pulled down my red tank top awkwardly and sucked in a deep breath.

"Rose," Dimitri said, breathing haggardly.

I made the mistake of looking at him and felt the burning lust slam back inside of me. His toned hard chest was begging to be touched.

Crap. I had to get away. Before I did something really stupid. He probably thought I had no self control.

"I'm sorry," I say, "I-"

Dimitri grabbed my hand, waiting for me to look at him. "I'm not letting you go."

I felt a spark of anger, not at him though, more at myself. At my wayward of tangled emotions. I thought it was lust spurring my actions. But it was hard to separate emotion from deep seated lust.

His voice was rough. Long fingers wrapped around my wrist, unyielding but gentle. I swallowed.

"Please, Dimitri," I plead, putting more force behind my words.

He nods and seemed to struggle with the idea of letting go before releasing my hand. 

XxxxXxxxX

Leaning against the wall I sucked in a deep breath. I close my eyes, heart still pounding. I slide down the wall, and crumple on the floor like a wilting flower.

_I'm cold all over. My heart feels like frozen, rigid. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the immaculate white confines of the hallway and everything else I'm to afraid to face._

_"Rose?"_

_Turning around I'm faced with none other than Dimitri Belikov. My heart rate picks up and I swallow. His gaze takes in my hazard appearance, from the red rims of eyes to the bitten down nails of my fingers._

_"What do you want?" My voice is hard._

_His eyes soften, and I hate for noticing how enticing and beautiful he seems in that moment. "I heard about Lissa."_

_I exhale and it hurts. "She's going to be fine. But thanks for your concern."_

_He takes a deep breath and I'm caught off guard by how uncharacteristically it is of Dimitri to show weakness, to show any form of vulnerability. He squares his shoulders and strides toward me with deep meaningful steps._

_I meet his steady gaze and suddenly I'm in his arms. I crush myself to him, unsurprised by how much Dimitri really means to me and a sob escapes me. I furrow my face into his chest and his arms tighten around me._

_"There's nothing you could have done," he says gently, and his lips press a kiss against my head._

_Dimitri's aftershave washes over and I wish I could forget everything for a moment ad savor the feeling of being in his arms._

_He murmurs something in Russian and the sound soothes me._

_"Where is she?" A voice booms from behind us._

_Dimitri and I break apart. I look away from him reluctantly and find Christian is staring at me with his blue eyes slit into narrow blue depths. His cousin Tasha, and Dimitri's best friend is standing behind him, anxiety and wary radiating off her slim form._

_"Rose," Christian exclaimed, hands clenched into tight fists at his side. Anger is coming off of him in strong waves. He blames himself.___

_Except none of us saw this coming.___

_Lissa's older brother, Andre, died in a car crash over a year ago. Before I came to Palm Springs to start a new life and heal from losing Mason. Before she ever met Christian Ozera. And ever since Lissa has been doing her best to cope with her brother's unexpected death, but sometimes, when the grief overpowered her, she would turn to the comfort of her sharp cutting blades. Her parents were overwhelmed upon hearing the news. We all were. And though this was the first time any of us were hearing about it.___

_It was also the first time Lissa ended up being rushed to the ER because of it._

_"I don't know," I say, in a tight voice. "She's in there," I add, and point down the hall, where Lissa's parents speak in hushed whispers. My heart went out to them. First they lost a son and now Lissa was on the other side of that door, her fate unknown.___

_A hand brushed my shoulder and I winced.___

_"Rose," Dimitri said, and looking at his gorgeous face made the tears well up in my eyes again.___

_He brushed a tear that had fallen down my cheek. "I-I have to take Tasha home. I'm sorry."_

_I shake my head, knowing I have to be strong with or without him. He crushes me to his chest and whispers in my ear, "I'll be back."_

_My fingers uncurl around the fabric of his shirt and I look up at him.___

_His gaze is dark and intense and suddenly I'm selfish because I want him to stay._

_That's when I know I'm in love with Dimitri Belikov.__  
><em> 

**XxxxXxxxX**

**That just seemed like a nice place to end it. I know it's slow but I promise things will heat up soon. I actually do apologize for the short chapters but sometimes its better to know you tried than stopping altogether. **

**As always, thanks for the reviews. You guys are so amazing. **

**Btw, does anyone know what happened to Jlily/her name use to be thediamondrough...she wrote dangerous affairs...she's gone you guys...First AkLerr, now her...my two favorite authors here on FF...can't go on...why God? WHY?**

**Suggestions are greatly welcome. Craving some constructive criticism so don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. I'll shed a tear and move on :)**

**I'm seeing reviews for the Golden Lily and it's amazing how soon its coming out. Can't breathe..Oh and Richelle Mead is writing a new adult series..so awesome!**

**Xoxo Buria**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**Rose**

Palm Springs was beautiful and I wasn't lost enough in my thoughts to disregard its beauty, but the sun was always high in the sky, and the heat was a constant reminder of why my shirt and hair were stuck to my damp skin. As for my thoughts, those were another lasting matter. One I wasn't happy about delving into. Not anymore. When I'd returned to Palm Springs a few weeks ago I was certain regaining my memories was the most important thing imaginable. Now I knew better. Not to say remembering my life-remembering me-was any less paramount. But it went beyond remembering the past. The only way I could reclaim my old life was by reconnecting with the people who loved me and cared about me. Though it wasn't that simple. I pressed my finger tips to my mouth and I could almost imagine Dimitri's warm, urgent lips pressed against mine. That kiss had made me feel alive, it was like after so long I was finally waking up and beginning to see the truth. Dimitri was real and what we had is still there, still powerful and strong, and surprisingly enough, it felt right.

But despite how amazing it had been, it was also clear that Dimitri's feelings were twice as strong. Sometimes I felt like his intense gaze alone was enough to enough me over. He was different from anyone I'd ever met. Sexy and brave, it was a wonder he caught me in his grasp.

And although I had prompted him to kiss me, I was also guilty of kissing someone else, and maybe I could blow it off and pretend it meant nothing.

But it hadn't meant nothing. Adrian had saved my life and well, I missed him. I wasn't Rose Hathaway, the girl who almost died, with him. I was just Rose. The kiss we shared hadn't been nearly as ground shaking as the one Dimitri and I had...But it had its perks; warm, soft...safe. So many things in my life were unstable, every step led to a different road and I wasn't sure if I was ready to take it. Everyone said I was the kind of girl who jumped into dangerous situations—hell, I even had the scars to prove it—and that I was some wild, don't when to stop crazy person. And while the urge to jump, to take risks, was increasingly growing inside me, I owed it to Dimitri, and the old Rose, to be honest. I had to face Dimitri and tell him the truth before we took our relationship to the next level. And I had to admit, I kind of liked the sound of that. Dimitri's kisses consumed me, made everything else stop, in that moment with his arms encircling me we had been in our own little world.

And I had ruined it in one profound moment of panic. Dimitri loved me…I had known it all along…But if I had known already, then why did it terrify me so much? There weren't many people I could go to but if there was anyone I felt safe confiding in it was my best friend. The door flew open and I was met with crystal blue eyes.

"This is unexpected."

I cross my arms over my chest and arch an eyebrow. "Do you plan on to let me in or leave me hanging in this blistering heat?"

Christian visibly brightened, chipper and happy to see me, naturally, which I no longer found odd seeing as our relationship was built on banter that knew no ends and multiple threats that extended to physical force.

"Hmm," Christian paused, a smirk playing over his lips, "Let me think about it…"

I rolled my eyes and looked over his shoulder and caught sight of Lissa. A gorgeous smile lit her face as she strode toward me and the look of glee of her face reminded me a bit of the rapture Dimitri's face took on whenever I caught him watching me.

She ducked under Christian's arm and engulfed me in a warm hug. "How do you do it?" I asked.

She glanced at Christian and the smile grew. "Patience," she said with a winked.

Christian gave her a look of mock outrage mixed with his usual affection for her, "So, it wasn't my stunning good looks?"

She kissed his cheek and beckoned me inside with her hand, "That may have played a roll," she looked at me then meaningfully. "Rose, are you hungry?"

"No, I-" I hesitated, unsure if I should voice my concerns in front of them both. The table in their kitchen room indicated they were in the middle of breakfast. "I can come back later—"

She laughed. "That's crazy. C'mon, I made pancakes."

Christian eyed my hair and his gaze skimmed over my clothes in a non-checking out kind of way. "Did you come here in your pajamas?" His trademark smirk returned.

I scratched the back of my neck, "What can I say, the pancakes here are better than the ones at my place."

That of course was a lie. Dimitri made amazing pancakes. They always came out perfect warm and crispy, but somehow his good cooking skills didn't come as a surprise to me. Dimitri was good at everything. A couple weeks ago it probably would have bothered the hell out of me, but after getting to see the fierce, protective and compassionate side of him, well, all I felt were my growing feelings for him and that was troubling.

Lissa filled me a plate with glazed pancakes and I dug into them without a second thought. For the most part we ate in contented silence, occasionally throwing a few bantering lines back forth between us. Eventually, toward the end of breakfast, Christian got up and explained he had to head off to work. He and Dimitri worked in their own law firm in downtown Palm Springs.

After he left, Lissa and I did the dishes together. "Are you okay?"

I had been scrubbing the same plate for longer than the simple task demanded and I looked up now, deciding to fess up the reason behind my unexpected visit. "I sort of kissed Dimitri this morning."

Lissa gave me a knowing look. "Define sort of?"

I scrubbed a plate dry and sighed inwardly. "We were _sort of_ in bed."

A smile formed on her lips. "Okay, start from the beginning. How it happen?"

I decided to skip over my strange nightmare and launch into the logistics. "I had a bad dream…And well, I asked him to stay with me…And this morning I-"I covered me face with me hands, "I kissed him because he was there and it was familiar. Like it wasn't the first time we'd been you know…"

Lissa's face stayed composed but there was a happy, amused look in her eyes that she couldn't hide. "What happened next?"

I felt like such a teenage girl spilling my story to her that I realized it felt kind of good just to get it all out. "He said he loved me," I murmured, frowning slightly.

"And then?"

I sighed. "I just freaked out and I had to get away. Is there something wrong with me?"

"What! No," Lissa admonished, her voice surprisingly soothing. "Rose that's completely normal, you weren't ready, that's okay, and believe me Dimitri will understand if that's what you're really worried about."

"I know," I smiled briefly, "But I feel like I've already put him through so much. I don't want to hurt him."

Lissa touched my hand. "You won't."

I laughed, but it sounded hopeless to my own ears. "Do you think I should go talk to him?"

"He's probably at work," Lissa admitted, "But we're having a barbeque later, he'll come around and as for you…Maybe we should go crazy with this girl stuff? Buy a nice dress?"

I smiled. "I'd like that but speaking of girl stuff, do you know if it's a she?"

Lissa's waist was still slender but there was a bump, even if it was only a slight bump, it was just visible.

Her face was alight with joy. "Christian and I thought we'd wait."

I was happy to see her happy. Sometimes when we were on our own there would be unexpected moments of grief when she remembered the accident and strangely enough, also over the fact that I'd survived and was here with her. Seeing her like that was hard, so very hard and knowing I was the cause was even more heart breaking.

"Let's go."

We spent the afternoon looking at designer shoes and trendy dresses that were bearable for the scorching heat. We even purchased some baby clothes and I bought a few things for baby Dragomir when Lissa was in the changing rooms. We were window shopping when suddenly it occurred to me last night's bad dream may not have been a dream after all.

"Liss," I said, something in my voice must have caught her attention because she stopped admiring a pair of tall boots from a store window. "Do we know anyone with red hair, blue eyes, kind of young…" I bit my lip as I tried to remember the details. "Early teens…Someone who was murdered."

Something flashed in Lissa's eyes that made me think she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Yeah," she told me, voice hesitant. "Before you moved here, well, you came to get away from someone from your past. You're best friend actually…"

"Why would I try to get away from my best friend?"

"Mason was killed in a gang stabbing," she said softly. "You always blamed yourself, but it wasn't your fault Rose. You tried to help him but sometimes we make all the right moves and things go wrong anyways," she said, and I was surprised to hear a hint of bitterness in her voice. "I'm so sorry, Rose."

To be perfectly honest I didn't know how to feel about any of this. "Thank you for telling."

I wondered if it should make me feel sad but all I felt was confusion.

With no more talk of Mason Lissa and I returned to her and Christian's beach house. Dimitri and I shared a copious looking apartment but I envied the beach side dream house.

**XxxxXxxxX **

"Oh, so he cooks."

Christian flashed me a grin. "You thought I'd throw a barbeque and forget the part where I'm accountable for the food."

I shrugged, "I guess I just wouldn't past you to order in or make Lissa do it."

He looked insulted but there was disbelief mixed with amusement on his face. "There's your Russian spy."

I jerked unexpectedly and followed his gaze.

Dimitri.

He looked great is what registered in my mind first, in a light button up shirt, with his brown hair following over his face. He had a rare uncomfortable look on his face. Seeing him brought back the events of this morning and all the strong emotions with it. I was happy, really happy, to see him.

But he wasn't alone.

There was a woman with him, and the most redeeming quality was her long blond hair and ridiculously low denim dress.

"Who is that?"

Christian seemed to recognize the dangerous note in my voice because he cleared his throat and said, "She works at my firm. Sometimes she and Dimitri work on a case together."

Fury welled up inside me, sharp and dangerous as a knife. I was furious. I was a ticking time bomb. I was jealous.

No, I realized. The term jealousy was to kind for the state of mental turmoil I was in. It was much, much worse and admitting it to myself was easier than I would have expected. It was like waking up in the pristine white room of the hospital in Santa Barbra all over again; I was confused, bewildered, and most of all furious. Maybe if I wasn't so on edge the voice of reason could be heard, but I had a feeling nothing could stop me now. Despite the low hold I held on my emotions, I'd never felt more like Rose Hathaway than I did right now.

You're a force to be reckoned with Dimitri had said once but I couldn't remember when or where he'd spoken those words.

Taking a steadying breath, I made my way through the crowd and toward my objective.

Dimitri's face registered shock and I felt a supreme sense of satisfaction that I'd caught him off guard. Score, one for Hathaway.

"Rose-" I had no idea what he was going to say and honestly? It didn't matter. I had one goal here, no way was I going to mess it up.

Slipping one steady hand behind his warm neck and the other around his waist in a sort of half embrace I was exactly where I wanted to be.

Then I kissed Dimitri Belikov on his soft surprised lips, cutting off whatever words he'd been about to utter.

Again, I had been the one to initiate it but this kiss seemed to catch us both off guard. I smashed my lips against his and was surprised he was meeting my force. Breathing became difficult, but I didn't want to let go. He brought his hands up to cup my face and I pressed myself as close to him as I could. I closed my eyes as that kiss sent all my worries flying away. Why should anything matter when Dimitri kissed me like this? So what if Rose Hathaway was still getting herself back, what did any of that matter when Dimitri held me this close?

The music was still around us but now there was a clapping chorus to add on to that. I wished the noise would end and briefly wondered what could have conjured it. It Dimitri and I break apart. It was like slowly waking up.

The look on Dimitri's face told me he was just as shocked as I felt. My hand reached up unconsciously to touch the ring hanging from my neck and it brought me a shred on comfort.

And that's when I realized those surrounding us were cheering and clapping because of us. How many people here knew Dimitri and I? I had no idea. But I did catch sight of Lissa and Christian though, in my flustered state, and they were grinning like fools. Lissa wiped a tear off her cheek.

I suppressed a groan.

"We can continue talking about this later," the blond woman said, her tone indicated the slightest note of resentment.

I'd almost forgotten about her existence which was kind of ironic. Dimitri gave her a polite nod and then his attention was back on me.

I had a feeling he saw right through me. "Hey, comrade."

Dimitri shook his head, looking amused. Again, I couldn't help notice how good he looked, in white especially.

"Do you even know what that means?" He took a small step forward.

One side of my mouth lifted. "Sure," I said glibly, "I had to do a report on the RSSR."

My words elicited an almost tender look to come into his eyes which confused me.

"USSR," he smirked and on him it took sexy to another level.

I sighed and moved forward. His hand found mine and I laced my fingers with his. "Let's get out of here."

I raised my eyebrows. "Mr. Belikov, are you trying to make the moves on me?" I teased.

"No need," he said, tucking a stray curl behind my ear, "I already won you over once."

"What makes you think you can keep me around again?" I meant it jokingly of course, he already had me. But his gaze went from teasing to deeply intense in a matter of seconds.

"More than you know," he said quietly.

Still holding hands he led me away from the group and I marveled at how a simple act such as holding hands made me feel. It wasn't just a show of affection, but a connection to another person and knowing and having complete understanding of another being.

When the others were out of sight I glanced at him and said the words that were burning inside of me. "I'm sorry, about this morning. Running out like that."

I was worried their might be some irreparable damage but Dimitri looked at me and it caused me to come to a still.

"I'm not," he told me, and kissed my forehead.

I stared at him admiringly. I was so happy I wanted to laugh. "Wanna go for a dip?"

We had reached near the edge of a lake, and with the sun setting it gave the entire setting an almost mystical feeling to it.

Dimitri opened his mouth, probably to say no but I was already unbuttoning my dress and making my way toward the water. Halfway, I looked back and gave Dimitri a small shrug. He seemed to take this as an invitation and began hiking his shirt over his torso. Despite my carefree facade my pulse began racing, whether from excitement or nervousness I couldn't say.

"We can continue talking about this later," the blond woman said, her tone indicated the slightest note of resentment.

I'd almost forgotten about her existence which was kind of ironic. Dimitri gave her a polite nod and then his attention was back on me.

I bit my lip. I had a feeling he saw right through me. "Hey, comrade."

Dimitri shook his head, looking amused. Again, I couldn't help notice how good he looked, in white especially.

"Do you even know what that means?" He took a small, deliberate step forward.

One side of my mouth lifted. "Sure," I said glibly, "I had to do a report on the RSSR."

My words elicited an almost tender look to come into his eyes, which confused me.

"USSR," he smirked and on him it took sexy to another level.

I sighed and moved forward. His hand found mine and I laced my fingers with his. "Let's get out of here."

I raised my eyebrows. "Mr. Belikov, are you trying to make the moves on me?" I teased.

"No need," he said, tucking a stray curl behind my ear, "I already won you over once."

"What makes you think you can keep me around again?" I meant it jokingly of course, I didn't want anyone but him. His gaze went from light and smiling to deep and intense in a matter of seconds.

"More than you know," he said quietly.

Still holding hands he led me away from the group and I marveled at how a simple act such as holding hands made me feel. It wasn't just a show of affection, but a connection to another person and knowing and having complete understanding of another being.

When the others were out of sight I glanced at him and said the words that were burning inside of me. "I'm sorry, about this morning. Running out like that."

I was worried their might be some irreparable damage but Dimitri looked at me and it caused me to come to a still.

"I'm not," he told me, and kissed my forehead.

I stared at him admiringly. I was so happy I wanted to laugh. "Wanna go for a dip?"

We had reached near the edge of a lake, and with the sun setting it gave the entire setting an almost mystical feeling to it.

Dimitri opened his mouth, probably to say no but I was already unbuttoning my dress and making my way toward the water. Halfway, I looked back and gave Dimitri a small shrug. He seemed to take this as an invitation and began hiking his shirt over his torso. Despite my carefree facade my pulse began racing, whether from excitement or nervousness I couldn't say.

But one thing I did know, I wasn't running away this time.

I welcomed the cool water on my skin and marched until my legs were in knee deep. I felt Dimitri behind me a moment later and felt a tremor rock through me. His presence made me feel safe and warm on the inside, not that I had anything to fear.

Looking at him now made me want to bite my lip off. The smooth hard contours of his chest and arms made me want him. And the truth was, I had wanted Dimitri for a very long time and I was sick of holding back, I was tired of worrying about the consequences. Which is why I stood right in front of him and slid my hands around his neck and kissed him. It was easy to close my eyes and lose myself in this kiss. His hands grasped my waist and pulled me close. I gasped against his lips and we sunk into the water, both of us clinging on to each other.

I ran my fingers through Dimitri's hair and sighed against his lips. His eyes watched me, gaze dark and admiring.

"What are you Dimitri Belikov? You're a dream within a dream. I can't tell if you're real or not anymore."

In answer he kissed me again, lightly this time but amazing nonetheless.

Dimitri lifted me up so my legs wrapped around his waist. I pressed my forehead against his. "Am I different from the old Rose? From before the accident happened." Whenever I mentioned the accident he tensed and I felt him turn completely still against me. "Are she and I different?" I continued. "Does it bother you?"

Dimitri's face gave nothing away and I wished he wasn't so good at hiding his emotions. "There are changes in you," he admitted, "But you're still the crazy girl I met and fell in love with four years ago. You're still Rose."

His words made feel relieved. I hadn't realized how worried I'd been over that, that without my memories I was a completely changed person. And yet with the way Dimitri looked at me now, I didn't doubt him at all.

We kissed again and it was sweet and warm and being pressed skin to skin was perfection. Dimitri placed a hand on my neck, getting tangled in my hair, and brought my mouth down to meet his. Dimitri smelled good and being wrapped around his body scent and cologne was almost better than the real thing.

I slipped out of his arms suddenly and swam for a little while. Dimitri joined me and the two of us splashed water at each other whilst laughing and teasing each other.

For the record everything was going great.

I'd gone to deep at one point in the water and suddenly my pulse was racing, goosebumps had broken out across my arms.

_I felt cold. So, so cold. The darkness engulfed me, it was swallowing me whole and the voice calling my name became dimmer as the panic inside me became my biggest obstacle. I couldn't remember whose name I'd been calling. I was alone. I was going to die._

"Rose!"

_I was sinking further and further. The darkness was going to eat me up. And it was freezing, the icy waves threatened to pull me under. Yet somehow I managed to keep afloat. It must have been a miracle because there, just a few feet from me, was a large plank. I moved towards it and sobs broke free of my chest as I climbed onto it._

"Rose!"

I swam back to the top, to the voice. I gasped, I didn't think I'd ever had such a clear experience of that night. The night that changed everything. I tried to play off my panic with a laugh and once I started I couldn't stop.

Dimitri clutched my arms. His voice was loud and panicked. "That wasn't funny," he exclaimed, "What were you thinking?"

I suppressed a groan, still shaking down to my toes. I'd successfully freaked out Dimitri without even trying. The fear in his eyes shocked me almost as much as the flashback I'd had. And that had been terrifying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you…"

When he still wouldn't look at me I palmed his face with both hands. "Dimitri."

He exhaled a shallow breath and I felt bad for making him worry. "You're unbelievable."

_Don't I know it. _

**XxxxXxxxX**

**Hey everyone! Kay, first I have to apologize to you all because I have ridiculous updates and I personally know how annoying that can be, especially when you have to wait and wait. I just finished high school and I'm semi-free this summer, been doing some reading and lots of lounging around. I've written this chapter like ten times, I kid you not, and it just never seems right, but finally I had to publish something and I hope you guys liked it and if not that's okay too. **

**By the way, is everyone else checking their mail every five minutes to see if AlKerr's updated? ;)**

**Oh, and I read The Golden Lily (during my exams, sighs*), how are we supposed to go eight months without Sydrian? I ship them so hard and I am so devoting the next chapter to them. :) **

**I'm on tumblr a lot, so if you guys ever wanna come on their and talk to me, DO IT! I blog random thoughts about the books, so beware of spoilers. I'LL FOLLOW YOU BACK. **

**Please review guys, I'm not desperate for praise, but I haven't written a chapter in a long time and it would help a lot if you guys could share your thoughts, so I know what's good and what's not, and what needs work, in order for me to work on the next chapter. It would help a lot!**

**So even if you didn't like this chapter, just be totally honest with me because that's okay with me, and I'll still publish another chapter sometime next week. :)**

**& short chapters everyday or long chapters once a week? Btw, this was a long chappie for me. :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 24**

After that day at Lissa's party Dimitri and I became inseparable. Waking up in his arms was amazing, falling asleep in his arms was even better.

I didn't think I'd ever wanted anything something so badly as I wanted him. There was something about him, beyond the kindness that always shown and his words and action, beyond the sexy disheveled look he wore so well, even more the way he always brought a smile to my face. Being with him just felt good. He made me want to be better and strong and good and I didn't want to lose that ever.

I didn't want to lose him ever. And I wanted to show him in my own way...But his reaction, his rejection was always the same.

"Relax," I told him, "I know what I'm getting into."

For emphasis I leaned down and kissed the corner of his strong angular jaw. Dimitri groaned, a low sound in the back of his throat that drove me wild. My lips draw a line down and neck when he finally makes a move. His hands find my waist and his fingers caress my back.

He reaches for me my face and our lips press together hard, I bit down on Dimitri's lower lip and gasped. He flipped me around so fast so that now I was the one flat on my back.

He grinned and my heart raced quicker. This was not that plan, I reminded myself. I was the one was supposed to be taking control. But this way definitely had its benefits...

Dimitri took off my shirt, than his, than kissed me again. Whatever my goal had been, I forgot. All I wanted was to get Dimitri's pants off and-

"Rose."

I froze in amazement. That was his wary, slight dejected voice. My amazement gave way to anger.

"I know you don't want to stop," I accused, breathless. "Do you?"

Focusing on his face wasn't easy what with half naked form and all but I managed to focus on his face. His intense gaze was almost as good.

Dimitri laughed, a genuinely sweet laugh that made my insides warm.

"Roza, there's no question about it. But," he paused, and a shadow of doubt highlighted his face. "You're only just getting yourself back. This wouldn't be right if we jumped into to things to fast. You should know everything first. Besides, I don't want to risk regretting it, do you?"

I sighed. Damn it, I hated when he was right. "Fine. I concede," I said, with great reluctance. "But I am kind of curious. How long before we..."

Dimitri seemed to take the hint because a sly look came into his eyes. "You're not going to like it."

I smirked. "Try me."

"A year."

"What?" I exclaimed. I would have been embarrassed but I was to surprised to care. "How did we restrain ourselves?"

Dimitri looked like he wanted to conceal laughter. "You ignored me for months, and it's complicated."

I slipped my shirt back on. Its not like we were making much progress here, nevertheless I scooted closed to him. His obvious lack of clothing was driving me mad. Already I was forgetting his silly excuse for waiting. "Define complicated?"

"We were friends for a while," Dimitri said softly, he looked far away, seeing something I couldn't. "And than you pretended to hate me-"

"Wait," I laughed, "What are you talking about?" I couldn't imagine pretending to hating Dimitri anymore than I could imagine hating Dimitri for real.

He looked away. "It's not important how. It just matters that we're here together."

I frowned slightly and touched his arm. "What is it? If you don't tell me, I'll just ask Lissa."

Dimitri sighed. "You realized, somehow, that Natasha had feelings for me," his voice surprised me, edged with bitterness I'd never heard before. "You didn't want to get between us."

For some reason my heart pounded harder.

Dimitri reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head. Anxiety came off him in waves.

"If what you're telling me is true," I began slowly, "In which case I believe you, than I never really tried to get between you two. Why else would I stay away?"

Stumbling on the she who must not be named topic was unsettling but it was a conversation we couldn't avoid either. Just because things were finally looking up between us didn't mean our issues would magically disappear.

"You never tried to get between us, that was Natasha's doing."

"Than why do I feel like the other woman?"

Dimitri cupped my face in his hands. His eyes were blazing. "You are no such thing Rose Hathaway, you never were. It's you, okay? It's always been you. Thee is no one else in this world for me."

His words elicited mixed emotions in me. I liked hearing him say things like that. How could anything else matter when Dimitri's words sent warmth through me like that? When his gaze consumed me?

I kissed him again, lightly this time. Balling my hands in his hair I was where of every inch where we touched. Dimitri's mouth open mine, his mouth was surprisingly soft despite its hungry intensity.

"Promise me you'll let this thing with Natasha go. She's the past."

I swallowed. Dimitri knew me so well. But I had picked up a few things of my own about him since being restored.

"I'll think about it."

I wasn't a fan of lying to him. Of going behind his back to get answers. But I couldn't move on or commit with Dimitri until I knew the truth.

It was decided than.

I was going to track down Natasha Ozera.

**XxxxXxxxX **

**_One more chapter before we see some familiar faces. _**

**If anyone of you are interested I'm writing a one-shot for my other story, Happily Never After. **


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 25**

"**If we were meant to be together, we would be together."**

_**-Channing Tatum**_

Sighing sleepily, my fingers reach out blindly, but instead of finding the warm skin they seek, they curl around the rumpled bed sheets. Opening my eyes slowly, I blink against the pale morning glow filtering into the room.

The unexpected hollow I feel in my deep in my chest reminds me what it's like to wake up without a past. Without a childhood to look back on, without memories of my best friends and family, without knowing who I was before I woke up in Santa Barbra. Pushing those thoughts aside, I swing out of bed. Why dwell on the past when there's a perfectly good future waiting for you?

I then make my way toward the open door leading directly to the terrace. The air is warm on my bare arms and legs. I had slept in one of Dimitri's T-shirt's, it was a light material and only reached mid thigh but in this heat it wasn't uncalled for.

Dimitri leans against the railing, overlooking the city. Even with his back to me I can imagine the thoughtful look in his deep eyes, the content in his shoulders. The sight warms me and the ache inside me deepens, in a good way. I know he hears my almost soundless approach but still he doesn't turn around.

My arms slide around his torso, and my face presses into his back where I inhale deeply. He doesn't say anything, just takes his hands off the railing and wraps them around my enclosed one instead.

We stay like a for a few minutes, basked in the sunlight.

Eventually I unwind my arms from around him and take small step back.

Dimitri faces me, and before I can say anything he places both his hands either side of my face and kisses me slowly. I'm overwhelmed. I'm terrified. I'm excited.

I wrap my arms around him again, this time pulling him closer so there's nothing to separate us.

"Dimitri," I mumble around his mouth.

He takes possession of my hips, sending a jolt through me, fire burns inside of me. My back gently hits the stone wall and a breath of complete content escapes me. Embarrassed, I only ball my fistfuls of his shirt while his mouth opens mine and his fingers run through my hair.

It was all to much and yet the closeness of it wasn't enough at all. Dimitri hoisted me up against the wall and I secured my legs around his hips. His lips trail down my throat and I felt savage satisfaction when he lets a low, throaty moan.

"Someone might see us," I say, confused. All I can feel is Dimitri and I don't want it to end.

"Tell me to stop," he whispers.

We stare at each other, hunger and passion are written all over him.

I wanted him so much it hurt.

I had lost so many moments with him. So many memories. It seemed unfair that would hurt me. How could you lose something you never really had? But Dimitri was mine and damn it, I wanted this. I wanted him.

And despite everything that's happened, we could make new memories.

I would have told him not to stop. I would have said that's the last thing I wanted.

Then his phone went off.

To stunned to say anything. Dimitri lowers me to the ground-reluctantly so-and reaches for his phone. I don't know what's going on the other end but his features turn rigid.

My breathing slows and Dimitri nods and mutters something in Russian.

"What's wrong?" I ask, watching him warily as he places his phone on the patio table.

"Rose," he sighs, and similar to before he takes my face in his hands. "I need you to know I would never hurt you."

"I know," I say, and I mean it.

"We should wait."

He presses his fingers to my lips before I can protest.

"Think about it, okay? If you still want me tonight..."

I grin, he really has no idea. "Fine," I tell him, "I'll _think_ about it."

The sly look in my eyes makes his laugh and I wrap my hand around his neck and pull him down for another long kiss. This ones softer, sweeter in its own way and deeper and makes every part of me burn alive.

Dimitri gives me one last kiss before he takes off. His job was demanding and when I'd been gone he had stopped going, but now it was like he was making for lost time. I was happy the look, the haunted one that reminded him he'd almost lost me, didn't show in his eyes anymore. He was happy and that was all that mattered. I sigh, still feeling his lips everywhere they touch.

Suddenly a phone goes off and I deduce he must forgotten it on the table. I remembered the tense look he had on his face and without knowing why, I know I'll pick it up. My hand slides around the small silver object.

"Dimitri?" It's a woman's voice but not one I know.

"He's not here," I say, "Can I take a message?"

Silence meets me and I feel a twinge of annoyance. It's not like Dimitri and I were a secret anymore, but I wasn't surprised the way women through themselves at him.

"Rose."

For some reason my heart rate picks up. The voice holds a tremor of fear. "Who did you say this was?"

"I didn't."

"That's helpful," I snap. "What do you want?"

"You really have no idea," she whispers so quietly I barely catch it.

My fingers dig deep into my palm and clutch the phone. "I've had enough of this. Unless you want to give me some answers than I'm hanging up."

"What if I could give you more answers than anyone else?"

The question almost struck me as funny. Somehow I knew she was talking about the accident. Usually when I brought it up everyone closed off from me, even Dimitri didn't want to talk about it and his strength and courage were limitless. But now someone was offering me the truth.

"What's your name?" I ask quietly.

"Tasha."

The phone almost slips through my fingers. I'm frozen. Tasha. Tasha as in Natasha Ozera...Heat rushes to my face.

"My name is Tasha Ozera, and I think it's about time we meet, Rose. Don't you?"

**XxxXxxxX**

Nate broke up with me. He hadn't said why and after evading all my questions he left. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

A knock on my door sends a flash of hope through me. Maybe Nate had come back to his senses.

"Adrian."

The surprise must be evident of my face because he smiles wryly. "Sage."

His hair looked mused and tousled the way he liked and he was wearing his trademark smirk but there was pain lurking in his eyes, which are noticeably bloodshot.

"Are you drunk?"

His answering sigh is enough for me to know I was right. "You're like a mind reader, Sage. You should do a show. Make some cash while you're at it, you know?"

I don't laugh or roll my eyes. Adrian has always been my best friend but since college we went our own ways. I couldn't remember the last time he was in my room. "Come on," I open the door all the way for him.

"I saw Nate leave," he says and falls onto my bed.

I pull a chair forward and sit beside him.

I swallow. "We broke up."

"Oh," Adrian says, stunned. "Shit. Are you okay?"

I shrug like I am but we both know otherwise. "I'm fine, Adrian."

"You deserve better."

He closes his eyes and for a second I think he fell asleep. But then his eyes open and focus on mine with startling clarity. His eyes are bloodshot but the greens are still bright, still containing a spark of life.

"You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy," he says softly, "Somebody who won't complicate your life. Somebody who won't hurt you."

Adrian's words elicit mixed reactions in me. Surprise and a subtle ache in my chest and stomach. Seeing him like this, in his most vulnerable only drove the extent of that pain deeper. "You seem pretty coherent for a drunk guy."

He laughs, "I'm always coherent Sage."

I smile in spite of everything. "Forgive me if I have trouble believing that."

We stare at each other, the silence heavy between us. The smile on my face fades. "What happened, Adrian?"

He exhales a low breath. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

He draws his hair away from his face and says, "My dad happened, Sage."

"Why do you always let him get the best of you?"

"Because maybe he's right," Adrian admits, "Maybe he's been right about everything. The only reason graduated high school was because he payed off the Dean. I'm nothing."

"No," I say fiercely. "He's not right. And neither are you for that matter. You're one of the strongest people I know. You're smart and brave. I've seen you risk your life to prove it. You're not nothing Adrian. You have so much, so much good inside you. I'm sorry you're dad can't see that," I take a breath. "You just have to be patient."

"You really believe that," he says, "Don't you?"

I don't hesitate. "Yes, and you should to."

"Nate's an idiot."

I breath a laugh. The alcohol muddled his brain more than I thought.

"You going to be okay?"

"You mind if I crash here tonight?"

"No. I'll take the guest room tonight. You can stay here."

For some reason he looks disappointed. "You know there's enough room here for the both of us."

I roll my eyes. "Goodnight, Adrian."

"Sage?"

There's a strange note in his voice I can't really make sense of. I turn around.

"You look good," he clears his throat. "I mean, you always look good. But you look even better with your hair down."

I feel a rush of embarrassment. The things alcohol make us see. "Thanks," I say anyways. "Night, Adrian."

"Night, Sage."

I stop at the door and peek a glance back at him. He's already asleep.

I sigh and close the door behind me. I walk past Zoey's room and feel a twinge of disappointment. She was gone a lot lately with her fiancé. It seemed like I was losing everyone lately.

I picked up keys and decided a drive might do me some good. I could already feel the wind in my hair. Unbidden, I remember Adrian's words about my hair looking nice and feel a strange blossom of warmth in my chest.

I opened the front door.

A girl with dark hair is standing at the porch with her back to me.

My eyes widen. "Roza?"

She turns around, and forces a smile. "It's Rose," she corrects softly. "Hi Sydney."

**XxxxXxxxX****  
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**Oh, I did go there. ;) Review. **


	27. Chapter 27

_{Thanks for the reviews and story favorites, guys. I can't believe the number of story alerts this story is getting. I love you guys so much, thank you, thank you, thank you. _

_**In case the last chapter was confusing, the phone call from Tasha, wherever she is, revealed Dimitri knew where she was, so did Abe technically, but they both lied to Rose about Tasha's whereabouts to protect her**__. The second pov, which I forgot to mention, was from Sydney's, and we'll see why Rose is in Santa Barbra in this chapter.}_

Thank you SexOnFukinLegs, OrionLives, MarliiKasey, taylor3773, QuantamKhaos, LuPeters, RozaDimka, DamonS, and NellyRose1994.

**Chapter 27**

"_If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with." _

_Blake Lively_

**RPOV **

"Were you planning on getting that?"

Sydney was staring at me from where she sat comfortably on the porch swing, her expression puzzled.

I turned off my phone in answer. The number blinking on the screen was one I was familiar with. But I didn't want to talk, especially not with _him. _"It's probably my mom," I lied, feeling uncomfortable under her gaze, "You know how it is."

Sydney didn't look convinced but she let it go nevertheless. To my relief she was never one to pry. A short couple hours ago when I'd arrived on her door step, she'd been understandably surprised. After all, I hadn't given anyone warning of my coming. She didn't demand any answers or explanations for why I was here, for which I was thankful for. But I knew sooner or later I'd have to come clean.

I hugged my legs to my chest because I had made myself a spot on the front steps. I was entranced by the twilight that streaked the sky with pink and red ribbons of color. I tried not to think about the number of rapidly accumulating missed calls I had on my phone.

"I should go," I said suddenly, getting up from my position. My movements were lethargic and sluggish. I'd been driving all day and the exhaustion was finally catching up with me. At her look of confusion, I added, "I'm at a hotel a few blocks away on the north end."

"You don't have to leave," she told me, brushing away a stray curl that had escaped its messy bun. "We have plenty of room here."

I hesitated. When I'd first woken up in the hospital in Santa Barbra, Sydney and her mother had taken me into their extravagant home and lavish life style. Really, I mean, they had no idea who I was— for all they knew I was an axe murderer or a secret ninja, not that the latter seemed sensible—but nonetheless they had let a stranger through their door, they had trusted me. Didn't I owe them that same trust and faith in return?

"Sydney, no one knows I'm here."

I let that sink in and waited for her to understand. As expected her eyes slowly widened. "You ran away? _You ran away?_ Why? Do you even have a license?"

I almost laughed. Only Sydney would be worried about the unrelated logistics of my escapade. "I'm almost twenty three," I reminded her, not bothering to hide my smile. "Now will you hear me out? I did spend the entire day in this scorching heat to get here—"

"You came here in a G37 convertible; you don't really expect my sympathies?"

This time I laughed out right. The first half of my visit had consisted of her looking at my car and conveying an extensive amount of knowledge on a car I owned that even I hadn't known about. But I didn't expect any less from Sydney.

"Rose…" she said quietly.

My amusement rapidly faded. "I know it's a lot to ask and I understand I'd be asking you to lie to your mom and Zoey…I just need time to figure things out. Please Sydney?" I wasn't above begging if that's what it would take.

She crossed her arms. "I better not regret this, Letha."

I had almost forgotten the nickname she's given me. _The river Letha, _Sydney had once told me_, where the dead go to wash away the memories from their souls...to forget the past._

"So. Have you ever been to a bachelorette party?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Zoey's bachelorette party is tomorrow night. Are you in?"

This time I didn't hesitate in my answer. It was time to unleash Letha and forget the past.

"I'm in."

**XxxxXxxxX **

"I can't believe," Sydney murmured in her quiet serious voice, "I'm sitting in a strip club."

"Makes two us," I muttered.

I had to admit I liked the red black colored walls and the pulsing lights flashing around us. And as for the ridiculously cute clad guys, well I wasn't about to complain.

I felt reckless tonight, my pulse racing from excitement. I wanted the rush. Craved it. I wanted to do something crazy, even if it was just to get it out of my system.

"Maybe if we leave, they'll be to drunk to notice I'm gone."

I laughed, "C'mon Sydney! Live'n up a bit. What's the worse that could happen?" Before she could answer, and I could tell she was on the verge, probably with an essay worthy answer, I grabbed a shot off the table and said, "Do it."

Sydney looked horrified, like I'd just asked her to commit treason. "C'mon Sage, live," I exclaimed. "It's time to stop living in the past."

She looked doubtful, but at least she didn't look absolutely terrified anymore. Small steps.

Zoey had joined us and was apparently inebriated. "Sydney," she exclaimed, loud enough to make my head hurt. "Do it!"

"Fine," she conceded stubbornly. At our expectant looks she rolled her eyes, "I just have to go call someone who can drive us home. Someone sober," she added when I'd opened my mouth to argue.

"So, Rose," Zoey said over the boisterous music, she and her friends had gathered nearby or were throwing their money at the stage. "Anyone special waiting for you back home?"

My heart felt heavy suddenly. I swallowed another shot. "Nope!"

Zoey laughed, glancing over at her friends. "I can't believe I'm getting married," she admitted, a wistful note in his voice that I wasn't sure I imagined.

"Do you love him?" I asked hesitantly.

Her eyes brightened, a smile crossed her face, a confident one. "Yes. Absolutely."

The growing ache in my chest skyrocketed. "Then you better start believing."

She patted my shoulder and walked away, stumbled was more like if. Some of us couldn't hold our liquor.

"Sydney!" I exclaimed. "You're back!"

She slipped into the stool opposite of me cautiously. "I've been gone approximately two minutes...Maybe you should lay off the rub, Letha."

I sighed dramatically. "Are you going to drink that shot?"

She grimaced. "Just this one."

"I wish I had a camera to capture the beauty of this moment."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the tiny glass.

"Happy?"

I examined the empty glass thoroughly. "Exceptionally-Oh look, fortune teller!"

Zoey glanced at her sister in confusion. "I didn't hire a fortune teller."

Sydney looked only slightly embarrassed. "It was the only thing I could do. Besides hiring a male stripper, matters which you've already taken into your own hands."

The fortune teller was eyeing the shirtless stage when the three of us approached her.

"Rhonda?" Sydney asked.

She glanced at us, her dark eyes regarding us thoughtfully. "Miss Sage."

"This is my sister Zoey, and my friend Rose, we were hoping for a reading," Sydney said.

"And which one of you lucky ladies is the bride to be." As it happeed Rhonda was looking at Zoey expectantly. "Er, that would be me."

Rhonda produced a stack of cards and I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. "Shouldn't you like have a crystal ball or something?" I asked.

Rhonda cut me a glance. "Tarot cards are more informative. She revealed three cards from the deck and looked at Zoey. "You have great adventures ahead of you and you'll share them with someone you love."

Zoey looked thrilled. "Zack and I want to go to Rome for our honey moon."

I couldn't believe Zoey was eating this masked money stealing woman. I could have given a better reading than that.

Zoey's friends gathered around her as Rhonda went on a mysterious voice. "You're future holds..."

Sickened, unable to hear anymore, I sauntered over to the bar. I ordered a fruity cocktail and took a sip. It was delicious. Someone slid into the empty seat beside me.

A smile slowly formed on my face. "Adrian."

He chuckled. "Can't say I'm surprised to see you here."

I shook my head, still smiling. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm your designated driver," he said, "Sage told me she needed someone responsible to drive you home."

"That doesn't make any sense," I argued, lightly punching him on his shoulder. "Adrian Ivashkov and responsible don't belong in the same sentence."

He smirked. "It wouldn't be the first time something crazy happened tonight."

I finished my drink and looked at him. He was still cute. With his messy dark hair falling into his emerald green eyes. He was just dressed casually in a black and blue striped shirt and black jeans.

"So what brings you back here? I figured you'd be setting off in the sunset with your guy."

I looked away from him now. "I'm not looking for any romantic gestures," I said. "I'm looking for a good time."

"Well, you've come to the right place."

I placed my hand on his. Our gazes held. "Prove it," I said softly.

"My car's right outside." At my amused look he added, "No romance, remember?"

Rolling my eyes I let him lead me outside to the dock. "Wait," I said, grasping his arm.

The ocean glimmered under the moon's gaze. "It's quiet here," I said. Peaceful. The pain in my head subsided a little but there was an ache in my chest that kept growing, that no amount of alcohol or distractions could stop.

Adrian looked at me curiously. "Are you okay?"

I nodded.

I hadn't realized my eyes were glassy, filling with tears.

"Rose," he was worried now.

I closed my eyes. I could feel his breath on my skin.

He was going to kiss me.

And then, through it all was a deep sense of wrongness. No matter how hard I tried to run away, Dimitri would always be there. I couldn't do this. Maybe at one time. But not anymore.

"I-I can't."

We were both using each other to get rid the hurt someone else had caused us. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair to either of us.

"I'm sorry," I sighed.

He shook his head. "I'm not. Hey," he said gently, "It's okay."

"It's not," I whispered. I'd almost just kissed Adrian because I was hurt and he was here. " It's not okay."

"What's going on Rose? What aren't you telling me?"

"I love him," I blurted out without meaning to.

There it was. The source behind all my betrayal and anger. I'd fallen for him and he'd hurt me. That's why it hurt so much. That's why I had to run away.

"You love him?"

"Yes."

But all I wanted was to forget.

**XxxxXxxxX**

_{Zoey's wedding is in the next chapter, which is almost done btw. I should have it posted in a couple days, or tonight if I can. And I posted Rose and Sydney's dresses for the wedding on my profile if anyone's interested._

_I hope you guys liked this chapter, I'll admit I didn't, I thought the idea was solid, but working with all these characters who I'm not familiar with was tricky.}_


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you RozaDimka, Mrs. DamonS, NellyRose1994, Stars-In-The-Eyes, and LuPeters. **

**Chapter 28**

{You guys are either going to hate me or love me for this chapter. To post or not to post? That is the question.}

_**Someone once told me the definition of hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you become will meet the person you **__**could have**__** become. **_

_**-Anonymous**_

**Rose**_  
><em>  
>My dress was a pale peach color that reached mid thigh but obscured my legs from the back. The materiel was made of several light skirts that felt feather light against my skin, and made the heat of summer bearable. After ironing my hair I left it down so hung down my back like a dark veil.<p>

Although the dress did have its drawbacks; it was attracting more attention than I was okay with. I was in the middle of a dance with a friend of the bride's. He was friendly, but when his gaze drifted south, I decided a little too friendly.

I was grateful when Adrian cut in.

"My hero."

"Can't say I'm surprised half the guys here already hit on you," he sighed dramatically. "You look totally hot in that dress by the way."

I rolled my eyes, and place my hands on his wide shoulders. "Looks like I'm not the only one," I say, giving him a knowing look. His suit may have attracted more than my dress tonight.

He was dressed down in a white collar shirt on, leaving just a few buttons undone at the neck and dark suit pants. His hair has that purposely disheveled look he wore so well. It was hard to believe that a month ago he'd saved my life.

His hands circled my waist, through the light material of my dress. The last time we were this close I'd kissed him, right after I'd found out I was going home to Palm Springs for the first time.

The look he gives me makes me think he remembers it too.

"Don't get to comfortable," I warn.

His answering smile made me laugh. There was a playful glint in his eyes that would have made me cautious once.

I follow his gaze. It's neutral with just a hint of yearning beneath it all. Sydney was standing off to the side of the dance floor with her mother. She looked stunning in a red bridesmaid's dress.

"You should tell her."

Adrian's gaze returns to me, I can sense his amusement. "What?"

"Sydney," I couldn't believe I didn't see it before. "You should tell her how you feel."

Adrian glanced away. "She's my best friend," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"All the more reason to tell her, don't you think? She should to know she's got a star bachelor with his eye on her."

Adrian's hand tightened on my waist slightly. "I don't want to scare her. She broke up with Nate, well the jerk broke up her. She needs a friend right now…Besides, she deserves better."

I groaned. "C'mon Ivashkov, you fearlessly jumped into the ocean to save someone who for all you know was dead, you took down Dawn without a second thought, you took care of her when Nate was a total ass. If she had you, she'd get exactly what she deserves."

"I also tried to make the moves on her amnesiac friend," he reminded me glumly.

"You wouldn't have," I disagreed softly. "Otherwise you'd have a made a _move_ a long time ago and I promptly would have kicked your ass for it."

He bit his lip as if to hold back laughter, "That's not what you said last night." He sounded strangely pleased with himself.

"Last night?" I demanded. What was he talking about?

He sighed. "Forget about it."

"We didn't…" I suddenly I felt sick.

Adrian laughed. "No, Rose…But I guess we're both running away from someone, huh?"

Crap. Before I could form a response for that he spoke again.

"Can you imagine what things would be like if you stayed? If your family didn't find your picture in the paper."

For some reason I feel my face flush with warmth. "No," I say, "I can't."

Because if I hadn't gone to Palm Springs than I wouldn't have ever found the people who loved me. The same people who I'd grown to love in turn. I tried not to acknowledge the obvious reason behind my sure answer. If things were different, I wouldn't have found the man from dreams, and I wouldn't have fallen in love all fucking over again.

Regardless of my feelings for him right now, the sting of betrayal I felt, he really did care about me. Hell, he'd do anything for me...

"Rose?"

I jerked my gaze back up to him. "Sorry?" I tried to sound contrite.

He rolled his eyes. "I need a drink."

"Of course you do."

"Hey," he admonished, "Don't give me that look. I stayed sober for the reception didn't I? I deserve some credit for resisting temptation. Speaking of temptation, did I mention you look hot as hell in that dress?"

I shook my head at him, though I was trying to hide a smile. "Several times. But that's really just code for you love Sydney and you're denying your feelings."

Adrian smirked knowingly. "Oh, you want to talk about denying feelings, Hathaway? I seem to remember a certain someone-"

"Dimitri."

"Exactly," Adrian sounded triumphant. "You're in love with—"

"No, you idiot," I snapped. "Dimitri's he's here."

"Oh."

I wasn't sure what was more shocking; the fact that he was here or that he was actually dressed in wedding appropriate attire, probably not the latter.

"Rose?" said Adrian.

I don't know what emotions shown on my face, but it was like my world had just exploded inside of me. I felt a meteor had just fallen overhead. Breathing became difficult.

"Can I take your place?" The words were spoken by Dimitri.

I couldn't stop looking at him.

Adrian hesitated, "Er, if it's okay with you, Rose?"

The question was just a mirror of his own doubt, but I can tell he's also just worried about me. I hadn't said a word to Dimitri.

"It's okay, Adrian," I say finally, but my voice sounds weird, far away like a distant echo.

Adrian still wasn't convinced. "If you need me I'll be over there."

I barely manage to crack a smile. "Thanks."

Dimitri's hands slipped around my back, where Adrian's had just been, and intertwines his free hand with mine. I place on hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?"

His fingers tighten around my wrist but not enough to cause pain. "Did you go to see her?"

Immediately I know he's referring to Tasha. "Maybe," I answer defiantly.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, did you go to see her?"

I exhaled. "No. No, I didn't. Happy?"

"Rose," he looked miserable suddenly, "I was going to tell you-"

"That what, you were keeping a crazy homicidal killer a secret from me? C'mon Comrade," I said in a harsh whisper, "you knew I would have found out eventually. You knew I wanted to see the person responsible for almost killing me, _you knew_. Abe knew. For all I know Lissa was in on it. You've all been lying to me from the start."

"That's not true," I could see he was working hard to keep his emotions in check the way I was. "We were trying to protect you. Being in the same room as Tasha Ozera is not safe," Dimitri said flatly.

"Well, maybe you should let me by the judge what's safe and not safe on my own. You can't protect me from everything."

"I can try."

"We'll talk about this later," I said, when I noticed we were getting a few curious stares.

"Who were you dancing with?" Dimtri demanded quietly.

I blinked in surprise, my anger momentarily forgotten. Was Dimitri jealous? The thought makes me oddly happy.

"Adrian. He pulled me out of the water. He saved my life."

Dimitri's face transformed, the neutral one replaced by awe.

Looking at Dimitri had never hurt this much. "I kissed him..." I blurted. "…Before I met you I mean."

"Exactly. Before you met me."

I cover my surprise with attitude. "Maybe I don't want you." My words deceived me. I was painfully aware of how close we were and everywhere our bodies touched.

"Then why are you still wearing the ring?"

I opened my mouth to say something and promptly closed it. The ring he'd given to me a long time ago, the only link I had to my past before meeting him, hung from a silver thread at the base of me throat. I didn't have an answer for him, because I didn't know myself.

"Let me go," I ordered.

"I can't let you get away again."

"I'm not. Not yet anyways. You're coming with me."

**XxxxXxxxX**

Dimitri and I drove to his hotel in silence. It had taken him a few days to track me down which I only considered a minor victory. I could smell his aftershave in the closed space between us and I cross my arms in irritation. Why did he have to smell so good? And look like a foreign model without even trying to? His room was on the sixth floor, so I had the same problem in the elevator.

When he opened the door I walk to the farthest corner of the room and glance around defensively. The room is big and the walls are a pale shade of yellow, combined with the lush furniture it looked nice. I met Dimitri's gaze. "Talk."

"You left," he accused softly.

It wasn't the first thing I expected from him, but the pain on his face finally cracks me. I'd done a good job of running away, detaching myself from the world I'd become part of, his world, but this confrontation was inevitable and it was bound to be awful.

Tears spring to my eyes. "What did you expect me do?" My hands shake. I have to clench them to make it stop. "You lied to me. You knew exactly where she was, you knew, and you didn't say anything. You knew how much it hurt me but you didn't care."

"That's not true," he said quietly. Even in the face of grave emotion he was typically calm. "I was protecting you. Tasha's instability poses a threat to you no matter what her proximity to you is. I couldn't tell you the truth. I couldn't let you near her."

"It doesn't matter! It doesn't change anything. How could you hold me in your arms and kiss me and, and not have been anything but less than honest with me."

"I'm sorry, Rose-"

When he takes a step forward I give him a warning look.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you. But if I had to go back I would do it the same way. Tasha tried to kill you. I couldn't let her see you."

I swallowed. "You made me think you loved me, but did you?" There it was, the big fear hidden beneath all my rage and hurt. "You made me believe you did, but you kept this a secret from me."

He laughed loudly, which only fueled my anger. "Love you? You're asking me if I love you?  
>Do you know what it was like when you were gone? Did you think I just picked myself up and moved on? Do you think I just forgot you? Everywhere I went, you were there. Do you know what the worst part was? If I stayed in the apartment to long I could smell your perfume, so clearly that I could imagine you were right there with me. And then I got the call from your father. I didn't believe him. I didn't believe you were alive but fate proved me wrong again. The real question you should be asking is do I still love you?"<p>

I felt like my heart was breaking every second this conversation went on. "And the truth is I never stopped. I was guilty but now I had a second chance of saving you and I knew I would spend my life making sure of it."

Then, without warning, he's right in front of me, his hands grab my wrist and I'm pinned between him and the wall.

"One minute we're planning the rest of our lives, and the next you're gone."

His fingers dig into my wrist but I'm too stunned to feel anything. His emotions are stripped bare across his face.

"I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to keep you safe. I was supposed to save you that night."

"You couldn't-"

"I should have," he growled, "Tasha," there was venom in the name, "was my friend. My responsibility. I didn't see, didn't want to believe she was capable, but she was, _she was_."

Dimitri felt guilty for me almost dying. I should have figured out on my own a long time ago. Of course he held himself responsible. He was Dimitri. Always holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. And I hadn't made things any easier by leaving.

"It's not your fault," I argued. "You can't blame yourself for what she did to us."

His eyes, dark with emotion didn't seem to believe me.

My fingers wrapped the ring he'd given me, the one hanging from a silver thread, the ring lying against my skin.

_One minute we're planning the rest of our lives, and the next you're gone._

"No," I whispered. "Dimitri, this ring-"

"Was the only thing I could afford when I was eighteen," said Dimitri. "I wanted to give you a new one but you wouldn't let me. I proposed to you that night on the ship."

My heart was in my throat. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This wasn't real. "What did I say?"

Dimitri's forehead touched mine. He breathed on my cheek. "You said you loved me. You said no matter what happened we'd always find a way back to each other."

Glass eyed and breathless, I tell him, "I don't remember that night but I do know this; I love you, Dimitri. I love you and it scares the hell out of me but I do, and I was right. We do always find our way back to each other."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and our lips crashed. Dimitri's warmth surrounded me, sending me on a high I'd never felt before.

And this time, there was no stopping us.

**XxxxXxxxX**

...

I feel bad but I don't know why. I hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter. I seriously wasn't sure if I was going to publish this or not, but I hope it was worth it.


	29. Chapter 29

_**Thank you for the review,**__**RozaDimka, Lock Ness Monster13, Mrs. Damons, NotADreamYetNotANightMare, mylifemyrules1, LuPeters, Nellyrose1994, and to everyone adding this story to your alerts and favorites.**_

_**And I found about the **__**Molnija Awards**__** a few days ago, after voting close unfortunately. But I was pretty surprised—and crazy happy—when I saw Forgotten Roses was nominated for best romance. That actually makes me so happy, I don't need to win the award—I'm just elated over the fact that this story was even taken into consideration, and thank you, my wonderful and mysterious readers, for voting for me. And I want to know whoever you are because you inspired a fluffy moment in this chapter. :)**_

_**I hate to spoil the moment. But I think story is reaching its conclusion. I think there will only be a few chapters to come, and if you guys want an epilogue I can try but my stories don't usually have epilogues. **_

**Chapter 29**

Dimitri was waiting for me. He was leaning against his car and watching the ocean with a pensive expression.

Sydney wasn't happy when I told her we'd be going home. "I can't believe you're leaving so soon," she said and sounded like she genuinely meant it.

She surprised me with a hug and after a moment we both pulled back. I didn't think this was the last I'd see of her. "Thanks, Sage," I told her, "For everything."

"Anytime. And hey, maybe you can come down next summer. I bet things'll really be looking up by then," she looked at Dimitri and gave me a knowing look.

I smiled.

"You guys have to come to Palm Springs first," I teased, although I was completely serious. Janine and Abe were dying to meet them. Even Lissa and Christian wanted to know them.

She returned my smile. "I'd like that."

"You guys aren't going to cry now are you?"

I sighed, "Goodbye Adrian."

I slipped my arms around his waist and breathed deeply. "Thank you," I murmured, my face pressed to his chest and I tilted my head up to look into green, green eyes. "Thank you for saving me." And then I added quietly, "Don't forget the advice I gave you."

He patted my head, "I won't if you won't."

* * *

><p>Dimitri hired a driver to take my corvette back to Palm Springs so that the two of could venture home in his Jeep. He'd been insistent and claimed I technically wasn't supposed to drive on freeways because of the whole amnesia thing. Despite my protests that I'd gotten to Santa Barbra on my own, I'd relented.<p>

The car ride back home would undoubtedly be a long one and I was prepared to spend another long drive and irritating sun light but what I wasn't ready for was the sudden storm overhead. Rain poured down in currents as strong as waves and rained hard on Dimitri's Jeep.

Dimitri grumbled in Russian. "This is bad. If we don't find a place to stay we're going to have to pull over soon."

Despite how quickly the windshield was working it didn't provide much help and the rain certainly didn't look like it was going to end anytime soon.

"There's a sign," I pointed, squinting through the rain. "There's a gas station and hotel on the next intersection."

Dimitri nodded and the tension visibly left his shoulders.

It was hardly the Four Seasons but the need for a safe roof had taken precedence. By the time we were inside we looked like a pair of two fully grown half drowned cats.

"You two are lucky. There's one single bed room available. We get a lot of by passers in this weather."

Dimitri paid the receptionist. I tried not to stare at his soaked chest through his navy blue shirt but what else was I expected to do?

A moment later Dimitri opened the door to our room and flicked on the lights.

"Well, at least we have cable," I said slowly.

The room had a bad paint job and ugly matching yellow blinds. There was a lime green cushion chair in the corner of the room. And beside it in, in the centre of the room was a doubles bed. A rush of heat went through me and I recalled the last time Dimitri and I had been so close to losing ourselves in each other. I didn't think I'd ever wanted anything more than I wanted-needed-him.

Dimitri touched my arm gently and I winced. "There's towels in the washroom. You should clean up."

My suitcase was soaked but fortunately all my clothes were dry. I grabbed my pajamas, which was basically plaid blue shorts and a tank top with spaghetti straps.

My throat was dry so I just nodded and closed the washroom door behind me, just barely catching a glimpse of Dimitri taking off his shirt, revealed a stone hard body, with lean muscles and hard skin.

My heart exploded in my chest and I sighed unsteadily, emotions a tangled mess of nerves, fear, and excitement. Dimitri must have caught a wave of my feelings in that uncanny way he knew me.

My clingy wet soaked clothes fell on a pile on the floor. I took a step into the tub and yelped at the cold water that sprayed me. The water's temperature gradually warmed up and I finally relaxed, washing off all the sweat and excitement off me. But then I remembered a certain half clad Russian god waiting for his turn in the shower and I thought I would go crazy all over again.

But slowly my pulse started to slow and I reminded myself it was only Dimitri out there. There was nothing to fear when the strongest person I knew stood on the other side of that door.

In the process of drying off the fluorescent light suddenly went out. Damn it, I thought. Looks like we didn't even have cable to keep us company after all.

* * *

><p>"I can sleep on the chair," said Dimitri.<p>

He walked out of the bathroom with clad in a pair of dark boxers. I had to work hard to visibly refrain the smile creeping on my lips.

"Don't be stupid, Comrade. That thing looks like it would swallow you. Besides," that fluttery feeling returned, "There's plenty of space."

Dimitri looked like he was going to say something more but as if deciding better of it he slipped on under the covers with me.

Dimitri slid under the covers and laid on his back. And I was aware of him beside me, warmth built between us. The tension in the air was unmistakable. To my embarrassment my chest began to rise and fall quickly.

Dimitri's hand found mine in the darkness, lacing our fingers together. It was funny how that one touch managed to send myriad pointless little shivers through me.

"Relax Roza. Everything's fine. Don't worry."

I turned on my side so I was facing him. I studied his profile in the dark, the candle light casted an ethereal glow to his skin. Dark hair framed his face, the brown locks, still damp, looked like dark silk and the desire to run my fingers through them was growing harder and harder to resist. He hadn't shaved in a few days but the stubble across his chin was only that much more appealing than his usual clean look. He looked rugged and tired from the long drive, but somehow, it all just made him look more attractive in my eyes. More real. I decided I liked him like this best.

If he noticed me appraising him, he didn't show the slightest indication or maybe he just didn't mind. After a heartbeat of silence I tried to pick up the conversation again. "I'm not afraid," I said softly, a teasing note in my voice.

"I know," his voice emulated my gentle tone. His hand, smooth and warm, tightened around mine. "You're not afraid of anything."

I could tell he meant it. I just knew. Still lying on his back he tilted his head down to look at me.

The words spilled out without my permission.

"I wish that was true. But when I left..." Technically I ran away, "All I kept thinking about was that I'd lose you." I swallowed, yet somehow it was easier to voice my thoughts in the darkness that quilted us. "That scared me. You scare me."

I could feel the tension leave him as he turned on his side, jostling the bed with his weight. He removed the hand holding mine and cupped one side of my face, his long fingers caressed my skin, brushed my hair behind my ears.

Heat and affection that shown in his dark eyes, those dark eyes that seemed to see into me, knowing things about me that I didn't seem to know myself.

I think I stopped breathing. Well, that solved the heavy panting at least.

"You will never ever lose me and if something ever tries to get between us we'll fight it together because that's how it is with us."

My breath came out in a huge gust. "But why? Why would you want me?" I was puzzled and at the same time overcome with emotions. "I'm crazy and impulsive and you," I hesitated, "You're not."

A half smile crossed his face.

"You are those things," he agreed wholly, sounding awfully Zen like as he went on, "But those are parts of you that make you who you are. You're fierce and brave. You're not afraid to fight for what you believe in and you'd do anything to protect the ones you love."

I stared at him.

"And," he went on, his fingers still tracing my skin, sending heat and energy through me. "You're beautiful, so beautiful it hurts me sometimes."

Overwhelmed and lost in his scent, in his serious gaze. I shifted closer to him, resting on hand the nape of his neck and the other on his bare chest and I pressed our lips together.

Dimitri, clearly surprised, though he didn't have much reason to be, kissed me back and groaned softly. His hand which was on my face a second ago got tangled in my still damp hair, and pressed us closer together.

The kiss started out slow, like we were going at a pace that warned, 'proceed with caution.' And I was pretty sure we were both taking guilty pleasure in these soft, exploring kisses.

Rain spattered against the window, thunder shrieked outside. But for all intents and purposes I was just with Dimitri in this small shabby room we'd been lucky enough to be trapped in.

As the intensity of our kisses picked up our mouths became less hesitant and our movements became more sure.

when we both pulled away. Just for a moment our breathing was ragged. Just for a second.

Dimitri's gaze answered the silent question hanging between us, and oh so much more.

Our mouths came crashing together then, heat and power dancing between our lips. Dimitri's sure slender fingers slid beneath my shirt, caressing the bottom of my stomach.

Our kisses grew frantic as Dimitri pulled my shirt up. I helped him and yanked it over my head. His lips were already on my neck, sucking my skin and moving downwards so he could tease and caress every part of me.

My hands were trying to get his shirt off too. Sensing my struggle his lips disappeared but for only a second and his shirt went flying.

We were pressed skin to skin and it felt good. Like completion. But as more clothes came off and went flying in every corner of the room what we did then became so, so much more.

I loved Dimitri. So much. So bad.

* * *

><p>I waited for my breathing to return back to normal. Energy burned through every part of me. I felt like I could run a marathon.<p>

"Roza?"

"Yeah?"

Dimitri caressed my skin, his soft lips hovering in the crook of my neck. Our bodies were entangled under the sheets, pressed together, skin against skin.

I was having trouble forming any coherent thoughts, stunned by what our bodies had just done and how amazing it had felt. "That was..."

I felt Dimitri's quiet laughter rumble through his entire body. "Trust me, that wasn't the first time."

I blinked in surprise. And then my laughter filled the room, "I believe you," I bit down my lip while running my fingers ran down Dimitri's chest. Of course this wasn't the first time Dimitri and I had sex. Considering how things had just gone, I'd be willing to bet we'd done it a lot. Warmth spread through my face at the thought.

Dimitri growled softly, a low sound in the back of his throat that made me feel powerful, in control. His hand deftly caught mine and brought it to lay on his cheek.

"I love you."

I sighed, and rested my cheek on Dimitri's rippled hairy chest. "Me too."

I could hear Dimitri's heart, no longer steady in its rhythm. It was comforting to know I had the same effect on him that he undoubtedly had on me.

His arms tightened around me, pulling us as close together as we could get.

Despite the fire growing in me, the energy rapidly rushing through my veins. I felt comfortable in Dimitri's embrace to close my eyes and let sleep have me.

"Dimitri?" His eyes were closed.

"Mmm."

"I love you."

"I know."

* * *

><p>Dimitri and I were back on the road, both of us unable to contain our smiles.<p>

His free hand slipped into mine. "Now what?"

Dimitri's hand tightened around my fingers. His voice surprised me with the slightest edge. "And now we get answers."

I took a deep breath, overwhelmed by his words but comforted by him presence nonetheless.

This was it.

We were going to pay a visit to Natasha Ozera.

**XxxxXxxxX**

**Luckily I wrote this a few days ago because I'm sort of up to my head with family matters and I can't seem to focus on anything lately. I feel like I owe you guys a better explanation but I just can't. And I'm going to UWO in the fall but I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore. I'm frustrated. I just need a little while to disappear, you know? But I'll be back. I promise.**

**Love you all,**

**Buria**


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you Mrs. DamonS, Dreamer1103, Twilighternproud, Nellyrose1994. Every review makes me write faster.**

**Thanks for your support everyone, it means a lot. I've got my shit together, sort of. But I promised myself I was going to finish this story this summer and damn it that's what I'm going to do.**

**Chapter 30**

Dimitri made no move to open the car door and neither did I.

Tasha Ozera was in a maximum correctional facility because she had tried to kill me and nearly succeeded. It was only by stroke of luck that I had survived.

"Rose, look at me."

Reluctantly, I met Dimitri's gaze and read the vivid earnest there. He didn't want me to do this, but he'd stand behind me no matter what.

"I need to tell you something before we go in," he said, "Before you came to Palm Springs to live with your dad, I knew Tasha. For years we were friends and I didn't know how she felt until it was to late."

I had already known Dimitri and Tasha were best friends but I listened keenly. The bitter note that rang out in his voice revealed how deep his regret ran.

"But she was your friend too. She knows things about us, about me and she'll use the things she knows to manipulate the truth."

A surge of anger rushed through me.

"But nothing," said Dimitri fiercely, "Nothing she can say can stand between us. She got through us before but I promise it will never happen again."

I wanted to tell him I trusted him and believed him but words seemed to fail me at the moment. When I looked at him, with passion and promise written all over him, he was impossible to doubt.

I reached up to kiss him softly on the lips. It was a lingering kiss, one full of heat that could easily lead to more.

"I could get use to that," I admitted when we both pulled away.

Dimitri brushed a fallen strand of hair from my face. My skin tingled from his touch.

I caught the hand lingering on my cheek and laced my fingers through his long tanned ones. "When all this is over, when we leave and go home...What if I don't remember? I don't mean today but what if my memories never come back?"

It was a question I'd been wanting to ask for a long time, a very long time. But despite my bad timing, I had to know.

"Rose, I told you. Wherever you are, I'll be there with you. You're the only thing I need."

A fresh wave of relief filled me. "I don't want anyone but you either."

"Good. Because I don't think I can handle another the day without this," he said, and his lips left a smooth trail of hungry kisses down my neck.

I bit my lip. Okay, really bad timing on my part, but when his mouth moved up again and caught my lip in his teeth I thought I would die.

"Murderer to question, remember?" I gasped.

His dark gaze met mine, "Or we can do this?" His breath was hot on my cheek and the urge to touch him was rapidly growing.

"No, no," I said around his lips but my resolve was fading as quickly as my desire was growing. "Don't distract me. This is happening."

Dimitri sighed, and when he pulled away I felt empty, which for a moment I thought was scary. But no one made me feel as alive as Dimitri could.

"One last ditch effort wasted," I guessed, seeing the taunt crook of his jaw.

"Come on," I said, "Let's get this over with."

Our gazes locked, so much passing between us.

"I'm not going to run away," I said softly, "If that's what your worried about."

He didn't say anything and so taking matters into my own hands I took the liberty of crawling into his lap and making him see me.

Amusement flashed in his eyes. "Rose, we're in a parkway surrounded by cruisers..."

"Hey, you started this," I grinned, "Might as well wrap things up."

XxxxXxxxX

There was no turning back now.

A guard led us through a double set of doors, through the grey walls that surrounded us.

Dimitri was livid, with aggravation radiating from him. His jaw was slack with tension. I could see how much it killed him to do this and why he had been so adamant about keeping her whereabouts a secret from me. But this was something I had to do. And with Dimitri by my side, with no secrets and no lies between us, and our connection burning brighter than ever, I felt stronger than I had in a long time.

The tension surrounding us was strong enough to push me over but I wasn't going to fail this time. Tasha Ozera had ruined, well almost ruined, our lives completely and nearly destroyed everyone Dimitri and I loved in its path.

Not anymore. Maybe we don't go back, I thought, Maybe we go forward.

"Wait."

I glanced at Dimitri. He was giving me one last chance to walk away unscathed. I could walk away still. I shook my head.

Dimitri seemed to understand that without me telling him. He nodded at the guard and the heavy door swung open.

Heat blasted through me but not in a good way. My fingers dug into the palm of my hands. Dimitri took my hand, carefully smoothing out my fingers. Of course we would go into this as one.

While our guard stayed back, Dimitri and I entered the room.

"Dimka?"

The door closed behind us.

I was only focused on one thing, barely aware of my surroundings but the room wasn't big. A metal stable sat in the centre of the room and behind it sat Tasha Ozera. A main of long black hair flowed past her shoulders. Pale white skin was covered by the bright orange jump suit. Stark blue eyes stared at me but they were filled with a cold, cold rage.

"I should have known you were the reason he was here," she sighed wearily, those eyes never leaving mine, "He never visits me. Unless its to yell at me," she mused.

My breathing changed. "That's it? That's all you have to say to us?" I took a step closer and felt the tension in Dimitri skyrocket. "That's all you have to say to me?"

I don't know what I'd expected. But not this. Never this.

"Well, if I reckon," Tasha said, an air of unconcern surrounding her. "The last time we talked things didn't turn out quite so well, did they Rose?"

"What are you talking about?" Something told me she wasn't talking about our last phone call.

Dimitri still looked furious, agitation radiated off him but we needed answers.

"Let's see " she paused to contemplate, "July 24, 2012. Lissa Dragonmir and Christian Ozera's engagement party," she gave a shrill laugh that made me feel nauseated. "What a night to remember."

Dimitri's fingers firmly gripped my wrist and I had the sneaking suspicion it was to avoid any brash decisions on my part.

Tasha looked like she was enjoying this to much.

"It was the same night Dimka proposed to you," she pouted, but the grief in her gaze, in those blue, blue eyes, didn't seem feigned. "I saw it coming, I had to be stupid not to..." her gaze slipped past me, as if seeing something I couldn't.

I heard Dimitri's intake of breath but I couldn't think about that right now.

"That's it?" Your best friend gets engaged and you decide his fiancée's homicide is the best gift?"

Tasha sighed deeply, unmoved by the seething hate in my tone. "Dimka was mine first. You weren't supposed to be there. You stole him from me. I did what I had to do."

Bitch.

I was over the desk separating us in a flash, scrambling over the space between us. My fingers shot out like claws, ready to inflict serious damage, but Dimitri was quick to.

"Rose," he hissed in my ear, "She's already behind bars. I won't let you join her."

I pulled away from him, furious and unable to look at anything but her.

She watched on in amusement. Clawing out those pretty blue eyes might make me feel better, but it didn't make it any less okay.

"You say you love Dimitri, but I never-I would never hurt him the way you did. You thought getting rid of me would be the least of your worries, but you forgot the part where you become a savage killer to get what you want. Dimitri was one of the few people who could see the good in you, but you took that all the way for your own selfish wants and you will never, ever have him after what you've done."

With that said I looked away

XxxxXxxxX

Every step in the hall seemed to require more effort than necessary. My legs didn't want to move. None of me did.

"Rose."

I felt empty. There really was no other way to describe it. I felt detached from the world.

Dimitri's hands slid over my face, "Rose. Look at me."

Dimitri's face was fierce, the intensity in his eyes slowly stirring something inside me. Gradually bringing me back to my senses.

I couldn't breathe. Couldn't say anything. I couldn't do anything that didn't require gripping Dimitri's shirt or holding him as close as I could.

Dimitri's arms came me around then and chased away all the hurt, all the confusion. Made the emptiness disappear.

"It's okay," his arms tightened around me. "We're okay now."

I didn't say anything. How could I?  
>Tasha had stolen my memories. Taken away years of my life and countless moments with Dimitri. And she was a raging mad lunatic who thought Dimitri loved her.<p>

I just nodded, closing my against, and hoped that for all sakes, that he was right.

XxxxXxxxX

**I have a serious question for you guys**. I was watching the Half Blood Prince and the whole time, I'm just thinking, 'what does Voldy do in his spare time?' like seriously, it's not like he's lounging around in his pj's, fasting during the month of Ramadan, and watching reruns of Gossip Girl...Like some people I know...

If you give me a serious answer, I will give Rose all her memories back. You have my word. Seriously.

Every villain has to have a real motive, that's what makes them human, that's what makes them real. I'm not sure unrequited love is enough motive for someone as strong headed as the real Tasha Ozera, but I've said it before, I didn't plan this story, so I didn't pan out Tasha's motives, I didn't make her seem real. And for that I'm sorry, but hey, now there'a another chapter behind Rose and Dimitri, and maybe now that can finally move on?


	31. Chapter 31

**Thank you NotADeamYetNotANightMare, infinitely-climbing, , Little Miss Evil, imaginitivemeagan, Nellyrose1994, Lock Ness Monster13, JairahSummers, lildevilswimmer4. I will keep my promise to you.**

**I'm so sorry for the wait. I had writer's block; it was a painful week for me whenever I sat in front of my computer. I think part it is because I feel like this story is over and if I try to drag it out something bad will happen and I don't know if I can put Rose and Dimitri through that. Or you guys for that matter. **

**I **_**think**_** this is the last chapter, followed by an epilogue.**

**Chapter 31**

**Rose**

One year later...

"You're doing it wrong."

I shot an amused look at my fiancé. "I know how to do a diaper up, Comrade. Besides this'll be good practice," I added, and then triumphantly, "There. See? Piece of cake."

His hand slid around my waist and his lips brushed my ear, sending a shiver through me. "Practice?"

Andre looked at me curiously with luminous green eyes he'd inherited from his mother. I felt a twinge of guilt for enjoying Dimitri's warmth and yeah, the warm lips traveling down my neck. Son of a-

I placed a firm hand on Dimitri's chest and looked him squarely in the brown eyes I frequently got to lost in easily. "If this is what you call babysitting, we're going to have some serious marital issues."

Dimitri laughed softly in my ear. I relaxed in his arms and he tucked his chin on my shoulder. "Fine. I'll be behave. If you really want me too."

I rolled my eyes but found myself smiling nonetheless. That was probably the closest thing I was going to get to a concession.

Andre was only five months old but he had his father's dimples and his mother's perceptive gaze. His light hair had grown darker and he had Christian's smirk nailed to perfection. Only he was adorable when he did it.

I picked up Andre and his tiny fingers got lost in my hair. "You're going to break so many hearts when you're older, little stud muffin."

Dimitri pressed his lips into a thin line to keep from laughing.

"Woza," Andre yawned, and I cradled him in my arms. He wrapped his hand around one of Dimitri's fingers and smiled at his fierce protective uncle.

"You're good at this," said Dimitri. "I still don't get what the fuss was about when you thought we were going to have a third party."

"I'd only known you for two months," I reminded him wryly.

Last year Dimitri and I had struggled with the intricacy of our relationship. It had taken a lot of work and faith to make things between us work. Struggling with amnesia and my feelings for Dimitri, our relationship had needed time to heal and repair itself. One piece of that healing process had included a stormy night and hot motel room sex. And hot indeed it was, but we'd also run the risk of getting pregnant.

Thankfully it had been a false alarm, but at the time I'd been terrified of having children. Now? A year later and with Dimitri and I still going strong, the thought didn't scare me so much. I was twenty five. Thanks to Abe and his secret ways, I was back in law school. Dimitri was a great lawyer and I knew he'd make the best father in the world. And really, he was all I ever wanted.

He brushed a lock of my hair back and I would have stood there forever with him if he hadn't whispered, "Look who's asleep."

Andre was snoring softly,his soft skin looked snow white against my tan complexion.

"Yeah," I murmured, wonder struck by how peaceful he seemed.

After placing him in his crib I invited Dimitri back into the living room. A look at the clock told me Lissa and Christian were due back any minute how. Lissa hated to be away from Andre for any duration, but she trusted her son's god parents to much to resist Christian's surprise romantic dinner.

Dimitri fell into the couch and pulled me down with. I crawled into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You know, I've been thinking, comrade. Maybe a third party wouldn't be so bad after all."

His eyes widened in mock surprise. "You want to have a threesome?"

I smacked his arm hard enough to leave a bruise but my expression softened when I saw the carefully concealed laughter in his eyes.

"Roza," he smiled, "We can wait until you're ready. I'm not going anywhere, and if I have my way neither are you. We have all the time in the world."

"I know, but we have so many firsts I don't remember. I want to make new memories." That will last forever.

In the past year my memories had been coming back in bits and flashes. and Dimitri was always there to help put the pieces together. But part of me always wondered how much I was missing, how much of my past with Dimitri was missing.

His hands rubbed soothing circled on my back sending delicious little tingles in my stomach. "After we get married, and you graduate law school we can start trying. We can have as many as you want."

"How many do you want?" I teased.

To my surprise he said, "Three girls and a boy."

I almost fell out of his lap. He looked amused by my reaction.

"Four kids!" I sounded on the verge of hysterics and only barely managed to keep my voice down and avoiding waking Andre. "You want four kids."

"For you I'd be willing to downsize," he was enjoying this way to much.

"Why three girls and a boy?" I wondered aloud, despite my obvious shock.

"Because our first will be a boy and he'll be on our side when our girls grow up. Three against three but we'll get points for being the grow ups."

I laughed quietly. "That's the most twisted logic I've ever heard,"I wound my fingers in his long dark hair. "That's something I would have come up with."

He leaned forward to brush our lips together. My heart thundered in my chest and we could both hear it. "Maybe I'm crazy," he whispered, "Some say you have that effect on me."

I pressed myself closer to him and brought his hand up to cup my breast. He groaned softly.

"Ahem."

Christian stood at the front of the room, arms crossed. A wary look on his face. Lissa raced past us without a glance in our direction, to Andre's room.

Dimitri and I pulled away as soon we realized we weren't alone. Dimitri scratched his neck, and looked faintly embarrassed.

Me on the other hand, I was comfortable enough for the both of us. "I didn't hear you guys get back," I said cheerfully.

Christian rolled his eyes. "I'm just relieved you're in the living room and Andre's not."

Lissa walked back into the room, relief evident on her delicate features. "Thanks guys. We owe you one."

"It was no trouble," said Dimitri, looking relieved over the new topic. "We should probably go though, Rose. It's getting late."

I hugged Lissa and promised to come by tomorrow. We had a lot to talk about but it could wait. She seemed to understand in that eerie way we communicated with speaking. Christian ruffled my hair on the way out and I flashed him a narrowed glance.

"Bye Woza!" he called after me.

"Drive safe," Lissa added, elbowing him in the ribs. He grinned and pulled her to his side.

**XxxxXxxxX**

That night I dreamt about Dimitri. Sometimes, with his help I was able to distinguish dreams from memories. Listening to songs on my old iPod helped restore my memories too.

**XxxxXxxxX**

_I glanced away from Lissa, who still looked torn between amusement and discomfort. A few desks were shuffled as people partnered up._

_I looked up at the sound of his voice._

_For a moment I all thought and reason left my head. There was something exotic and enticing about this young stranger. His dark brown eyes were serious, and held a lot of depth. Dark brown hair framed his face, which was all hard planed by the way and his tan skin was the perfect home. Don't even get me started on his body, he wasn't bulky or anything but the hard, lean muscles of his chest and arms were noticeable through the thin fabric of his shirt._

_He extended a hand, "Dimitri Belikov," he introduced himself formally._

_I shook his hand, it was strong and warm in mine and not altogether unpleasant. I suddenly understood the macabre looks I had received only moments earlier. Who wouldn't want to be partnered with a Russian heartthrob?_

_The bell rang, shocking me out of my bizarre trance._

_He offered a brief smile, which I ate up. "Nice to meet you, Rose."_

_After he left I gathered my books up, chagrined at those last precious minutes. So what? I thought, I didn't need to drool over every guy I thought was pure, hot incarnate._

_And boy was he ever._

**XxxxXxxxX**

_"You look hot, Rose."_

_Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I looked up at my date and smiled coyly in an effort to keep him in line._

_Looking over his shoulder, I made eye contact with my friend Lissa. She smiled at me. She was dancing with her long time crush, Christian Ozera, and from the looks she wasn't the only one with a secret fixation. He held her close to him and said something in her ear that caused her to laugh._

_And then I caught someone else's unexpected gaze._

_Dimitri._

_He saw me at the same time and I felt a smile pulling the corners of my mouth. He towered over everyone and everything. I couldn't help an amused chuckle._

_And then I noticed why he was here at the silly winter dance. Or rather, who he was here with. He was dancing with another girl._

_I lowered my gaze, confusion and disappointment swirling inside me._

_"Seriously, Rose. That dress," he whistled and I frowned. "Bet it would look even better off."_

_"Well stick around and you might found out." How good my aim is in it._

_"Would you mind getting me a drink?" I asked._

_"I'll be right back," he grinned._

_I sighed in relief. What was wrong with me? I wondered. I was here with one of the hottest guys around St. Vladamirs. Sure, I was using him as a pawn to get back at Mia for hurting Lissa, but...he was nice looking, funny, and nice, albeit in his own way._

_So why did my gaze keep flickering to the other side of the room, towards a certain Russian heartthrob? My eyes found his corner empty._

_A hand touched my shoulder and the smell of aftershave flooded my senses._

_I shivered. "Hey, Comrade."_

_Dimitri slid one hand around my hip and entwined the other one with my hand. I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked up at him. His expression was hard, tense._

_"Something on your mind?"_

_"What are you doing here with happy hands?" Dimitri demanded._

_I had to admit I was taken aback by the harsh tone of his words. It sparked something inside of me._

_"He's my date and he was being a perfect gentlemen," I said, trying to sound firm. Perfect was a stretch though. And I can't help but notice yours is alone."_

_"Tasha's a friend."_

_Our gazes held and then I asked the question that was burning inside of me. "Why do you care if I'm here with Jesss?"_

_He averted his gaze and his lips pressed in a firm line._

_I laughed, surprised by the bitterness in it. "Forget it. Let's just finish the dance."_

_We swayed side to side, looking anywhere but each other._

_"Why did you laugh before?" Dimitri asked._

_I couldn't help a smile. "Because you're tall, and because you hate dances and formal stuff like this and here you are..."_

_"So I make you laugh?" he asked quietly._

_He thought I was mocking him?_

_"No," I shook my head. "You make me happy."_

_Surprise shown in his eyes, and something else. I felt butterflies in my stomach, only it was more intense than ever._

_"Then why are you here with Jesse?" he asked, "when you should be with me."_

_"Really?"_

_Dimitri leaned forward and rested his cheek on my head. "You don't belong with him. Never have. Never will."_

**XxxxXxxxX**

_Today was the anniversary of Mason Ashford's death. Every year I took out his photos and I cried and cried until there were no more tears left in me. Abe steered clear of me, even Lissa kept her distance._

_But there was one person who I knew wouldn't._

_"Rose. I know your here. Please open the door."_

_His voice was pained and it killed me to know I was the reason it was there in the first place. Hesitantly, I opened the door._

_"What are you doing here?" I whispered._

_Dimitri shut the door behind him and not a moment later, he took me into his arms. Unresisting, I rested my cheek on his chest. Somehow his warm embrace managed to ignite a fresh wave of tears._

_"I'm sorry," I lamented._

_His arms tightened around me. "It's okay. I'll always be here for you, Roza."_

_He led me to the bed, and we curled up on our sides._

_"Thank you," I squeezed his hand. "For being here."_

_You're welcome," he murmured, his breath hot on my neck._

__**  
>XxxxXxxxX<strong>

_By the time lunch came around I realized something wasn't right. I was use to the admonishing stared I'd get at St. Vladimirs on a daily basis but there was something almost creepy about it now. They were whispering about me. All of them. If I had tried paying attention during the day I would have realized what they were about._

_"Is it true?"_

_Lissa slid in the seat beside me. I barely noticed._

_"Mason," I whispered. "They know. How do they know?"_

_The answer was a girl with a very broken nose. So this is why Mia had been to busy to show up to school._

_She was plotting my downfall._

_"Rose?"_

_I shook my head disbelievingly. Mason. I looked around the lunchroom, countless eyes met my own. They know. They know my best friend died for me._

_"I have to go," I said, not recognizing my own voice._

_"What? Rose," she sounded uncertain. "Who's Mason?"_

_My breath caught._

_"Don't follow me, Liss."_

_I walked away from her before and the rest of them before everyone in the room saw me cry._

_I stayed in the pool house for the rest of the day. Abe's liquor cabinet had greeted me with open arms and I'd taken as much bottles as I could in one haul._

_Lissa came by, but I didn't let her in. How could I face her after everything I'd done?_

_"Ross. Let me in."_

_I downed a bottle of Vodka. "No can do, Dragomir," I tossed my head back and let the dizzying effects of alcohol take me._

_"Rose?"_

_I blinked._

_Dimitri._

_Oh god. I had completely forgot. What would he think of me now that he knew I was lying?_

_I wasn't ready to face Lissa, and I thought I wasn't ready to face anyone else either. But the part of me that would always be drawn to Dimitri was ready to get the condemnation over with. Or maybe I was just to drunk and wanted to see him._

_I opened the door, and sure enough he was alone._

_He wore a black dress shirt I'd never seen before and jeans. His hair was out and loose the way I liked. But for all I noticed was his dark eyes. My heart ached and I knew I had made a mistake opening the door._

_"What do you want?" I whispered._

_"You."_

_I blinked, unable to believe my ears. "Well I'm not in the mood to play, so you'll have to find someone else," my hand tightened on the door knob._

_"I'm done playing, Roza."_

_I frowned, truly confused now. "Don'tch you get it?" I asked, tears springing to my eyes. "I killed someone, Dimitri. I killed someone."_

_He shook his head, as if he didn't believe me and suddenly I was backing away. He stepped in to my spacious little pool house. Which was a mess but neither of us were concerned about that._

_"I read the papers, Rose. It was an accident."_

_My heart was beating hard before but now it was a full out race._

_"No. I. Killed. Him."_

_His strong, warm hands gripped my wrists. "No, you didn't. It was an accident. That other man-Victor-"_

_"Don't say his name!" I screamed screamed, unable to get a grip on my emotions, ripping my hands from his. "Don't say his name to me!"_

_"Rose," he looked so hopeless, so understanding._

_His heart was in his eyes and mine felt like it was being crushed under that gaze._

_"You don't understand, Dimitri. It was my fault." It was hard to make sense of anything with all the alcohol in my system. Although that's why I had it in my system in the first place. "He never would have been there if it weren't for me." He never would have died if he hadn't come back for me._

_For months I had stowed away his death in the darkest corners of my mind but now, it was almost a relief to say it out loud._

_Dimitri grabbed for me again, this time to hold me in his arms. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest. "Why don't you hate me?" I mumbled into his chest._

_"Because I love you."_

_I froze. He froze. My breathing had stopped altogether. Dimitri...loved me?_

_I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. Maybe I had fallen asleep after all. Any minute now I would wake up and..._

_"You love me?" It hurt to pull away, his arms were my safe haven. I looked up at him and a small gasp escaped my lips._

_The way he was looking at me...I had tried to ignore it...To pretend...I didn't deserve Dimitri's love. I didn't deserve him. But he really did love me. There was no more denying it._

_Dimitri Belikov loves me._

_"I think I need to lay down."_

_He helped me to the bed. Under any other circumstances I would have been excited. Now I was just confused and tired and Dimitri loves me._

_I rested my head against the pillow and Dimitri sat on the edge of my bed._

_"What do you want, Roza?" He asked gently._

_It was such a Dimitri thing to ask and as usual I didn't have any answers. None that made any sense anyways._

_"You?"_

_It was a request I wasn't sure I was in a position to make but if there was one thing I knew._

_I wanted Dimitri. Did I love him? I wasn't sure but I did know my heart aches for him when he's not there. I know I love his smile, the one that lights up his face and quite literally takes my breath away. I like the way he smells, and the way he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking. I love how sweet and warm and right he makes me feel._

_I like that I don't feel guilty when I'm with him. He makes me want to be stronger and in the months I'd stayed away from him I had been strong. He inspired me. And he loves me._

_"I changed my mind."_

_He brushed a stray lock of hair from my face. "Sorry?"_

_I was just close enough to reach out and wrap my arms around his neck. His eyes focused on mine._

_"I want this," I said and then I did the next logical thing._

_I kissed him._

_His lips were warm and wonderful and even soft and hard at the same time. Like everything Dimitri did, he was skilled and passionate and this kiss just made me need him like I'd been starved and only now was I being fed. A low moan from the back of his throat made me...aroused. I pulled him closer so that he was on the bed now to. His lean, muscled body pressed against mine. Our kiss grew harder and more ardent and I wanted-no I needed for him to touch me._

_"Wait-Roza, wait."_

_My lips trailed down his jaw, "I'm done waiting," I breathed, eagerly kissing his neck. He tasted so good._

_I felt warm and alive with his body pressed on me._

_"You said you were done playing," I splashed my hands on his chest. "Prove it to me. Prove you love me."_

_His lips crashed down on mine again and all thought escaped my mind. I was kissing Dimitri and I was ready to never stop._

**XxxxXxxxX  
><strong>  
>I reached out blindly but my fingers came up empty. It was dark still and I was reeling from what I'd just seen. It was confusing and my heart throb. But one thing I knew for certain; Dimitri Belikov had saved me from myself more than once.<p>

Sitting on a dark red sofa, he had one of his western books in his hands. He looked up at the entrance of the door where I stood.

"Rose? What's wrong?"

I just shook my head and after making some room for me I curled up under his arm.

"Nightmare?" he coaxed gently.

"No, actually," I said. "Memory, I think." I pulled back to look at him.

"On Mason's anniversary, of his death...You never told me you stayed with me."

"Every year for four years."

"You saved me."

He shook his head, "Just because you were hurt, doesn't mean you were broken. But then maybe we did save each other."

I laid my head on his chest and stared at floor, but I wasn't really seeing anything. "By the way," I murmured, my eyes sliding shut. "You're cute when you're jealous."

I could imagine his smile, the way one corner of his mouth lifted up and then the other. He pressed a kiss on my head.

"You saved me, too," he whispered, but I was already gone.

**XxxxXxxxX**

**So? What did you think? Leave me a review please. **

**The next chapter is the epilogue. If you leave me suggestions I'll try to incorporate them. Someone mentioned Tasha reading Dimitri and Rose's engagement in the paper. From behind bars of course. Pure genius if you ask me.**

**And thank you for solving my Voldemort question ahahaha. I laughed so hard when I read those reviews.**

**|Buria**


	32. Epilogue

**Thank you acr421, lildevilswimmer4, Kelly (thanks for the name sweetie!), Nellyrose1994, Mrs. DamonS, abster983, Lock Ness Monster13, anon (mwah), NotADreamYetNotANightMare, and jemily23.**

**And thank you to everyone who read this story and stuck with it to the end. Your support and kind words make me so ecstatic.**

**I'll be back with new stories, with even more romance. Wink* So if you liked this one you'll like my future stories too, I hope.**

**Epilogue**

**Rose POV**

Gentle fingers brushed my skin, stroked my cheek, and ran through my hair. A feeling of warmth bloomed in my chest, spreading through my veins.

My eyes peeled back, meeting dark brown orbs. Their intensity surprised me and made the warm feeling grow. My lips twitched.

I murmured, "Good morning."

His hand slid around the nape of my neck, rubbing small circles on my skin.

"Mmm. That's nice."

His lips replaced the fingers leaving streaks of heat on my skin. His mouth ran along my jaw, sucking my skin tenderly.

My breathing changed, and I reached up, threading my fingers through his silky soft hair. His mouth was hot and hungry on my neck, eliciting small, breathless moans from me.

"Roza," he groaned when I gripped his back, running my hands down his bare skin.

I was overjoyed as I said his name, over and over again. Nothing in the world would ever compare to waking up in Dimitri's strong, protective arms. His chest pressed against me and he brought his lips to mine.

I gasped against his mouth and kissed him hard. This was my favorite kiss. The kind that said business.

"Daddy?" said a small voice, "What are doing on mommy? You're going to hurt her."

I gave Dimitri a rueful look and his weight suddenly disappeared.

Mason stood at the door, his hair falling into his dark eyes. He held teddy in his arms, though from the way he held his favorite bear it resembled more like a chokehold. He rubbed his eyes and my expression softened.

"Mommy's fine," I assured him, laughing quietly. "C'mere, baby."

Mason crawled onto the comforter with us and leaned into Dimitri. I kissed Mason's cheek and smiled.

"Hungry bud?" Dimitri asked, tucking Mason's under his arm.

Mason looked up at his dad from under his arm, regarding him with the same caring affection Dimitri always did. Mason had inherited Dimitri's warm, brown eyes. And he was growing at speed that made left me reeling. He was the toughest three year old around.

"I'm in the mood for pancakes," I admitted, batting my eyelashes at Dimitri.

He chuckled and Mason nodded his head in agreement. "Chocolate chip pancakes," he amended quickly.

Dimitri pressed a kiss on his head. "It's settled then. Want to help make the batter?"

"Yes!" Mason said and before I could pull him in he grabbed Teddy and raced out of the room.

I bit my lip and stared at Dimitri. His hand slid over my stomach and he hunched over me again, making my heart race with the hungry look in his eyes.

"We'll finish this," he promised, "later tonight."

"I'll hold you to it," I teased and we kissed, again, and again.

"Daddy!"

I laughed against Dimitri's mouth, "C'mon comrade, someone's got to feed us."

He pulled me after him, "What would you do without me?" he smirked.

"Die of starvation," I made a face of mock horror.

Mason was setting up when we got to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and poured us some orange juice as my two men got to work.

"We should eat pancakes for lunch," Mason said.

I laughed, "I don't think so, baby. Unless..." I looked at Dimitri and he rolled his eyes.

I creeped up behind him and stretched my arms around his waist. He caught my hands and I kissed his back, unable to resist thinking about this morning.

We ate breakfast in the living room and watched TV, while we dug into crispy chocolate chip pancakes. Afterwards we cleaned up and Mason retreated to his room while Dimitri and I raced through the dishes.

"Roza," Dimitri came up from behind me and swept my hair away to kiss my neck.

"Yes?"

I tried to focus on his smooth velvety voice, but his hands gripped my waist firmly and his lips sucked my tender skin.

"Tonight is just to far away," his warm breath was almost as good as his lips on my skin. I shivered.

"We have a wedding to go," I reminded him, but my body didn't budge an inch.

I turned around and wrapped my fingers around his neck and pulled him down to brush our lips lightly.

"I love you."

"I love you, too Roza."

**XxxxXxxxX **

I had on a dark purple dress made from a sleek satiny material. It was a strapless bodice that hugged my body and showed off my legs. And tonight Dimitri would enjoy taking if off as much as he liked seeing me in it.

I couldn't help but think about my wedding as I headed for the bride's room.

Dimitri and I had gotten married in Santa Barbara. It only seemed fitting after all. The place where a miracle happened. Our safe haven. We read our vows at twilight, over the sandy shoreline, surrounded by our friends and family. I remembered the way Dimitri looked at me then, when we were figuring out how to be together and how to let go of the past.

I didn't even remember the girl with amnesia anymore. That girl was gone. Being a mom and a wife made me feel whole and happy. And the memories Dimitri and I had made with Mason in the past three years would never fade.

I opened the door hesitantly.

"Come in."

I smiled and my eyes watered a little. "You look great, Syd."

She took a deep breath, smoothing her fingers over her white dress. "Oh no, not you too!"

"Sorry," I grinned, wiping a few traitor tears. "How you doing?" I asked and went to her side.

"I've been better," she admitted, and we both grinned. I placed my hand over her shaking one.

"You're going to be great," I reminded her softly. "You guys are perfect."

"Like you and Dimitri," she murmured slyly.

I squeezed her hand. "Exactly."

A heart beat of silence followed, and then she looked up at me from under her long eyelashes. "When did you know, you know, that Dimitri was the one?"

I had a strange flash, a vivid memory of when I stepped off the dock and Lissa and Janine had hugged me fiercely. Only after did I see Dimitri for the first time since the accident, the man from my dreams.

"I think," I mused, "I've always known."

"Okay," she said, and I saw it in her eyes. She was ready, nervous as hell, but the important thing was she wanted to walk out that door, and greet her future with a brave face.

"I'll go tell the others."

She gave a short laugh, "Thanks."

I touched her shoulder and smiled. "Adrian's a lucky guy."

**XxxxXxxxX **

I stood with the other bridesmaid's when Sydney entered the large garden, surrounded by her favorite flowers, golden lilies embellished the setting.

Mason kissed his hand and blew me a kiss. I did the same and smiled at him and Dimitri, my heart growing so big I thought it might burst out of chest.

Adrian stood at the alter, his gaze firmly resting on Sydney. A smile tugged her lips as soon as she saw Adrian. He was her whole world the same way she was his.

Dimitri looked at me and all I wanted in that moment was to hold him tight and tell him I loved him. His gaze conveyed the same message.

I remembered my earlier words to Sydney and wished I could relay them to Dimitri.

_I've always known._

The ceremony passed in a flurry of sweet words, sacred vows, and heart felt kisses. I felt my eyes grow wetter as the two people I'd grown close with over the years confessed their deep love for each other.

While the bride and groom had their first dance I swam through the crowd and found Dimitri.

"Mommy," said Mason, smiling sheepishly in his adorable white suit vest.

"Hey handsome," I gave him a kiss and smiled.

Dimitri and I shared a tender look. I splayed my fingers across his soft cheek.

"Dance with me?" he took my hand before I could respond and the three of us made our way toward the dance floor.

We danced and laughed and teased each other. Mason squirmed out of Dimitri's arms so he could dance on the floor. Dimitri and I looked down at him as we swayed to the music.

"I was thinking," I said, "about that first time. That day on the dock," I clarified, "and I think I knew, even then, how much I loved you."

His lips twitched. "Roza."

He pulled me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest.

"That dress," he breathed.

I laughed breathlessly. "I know."

And then, my eyes found someone else. I met Adrian's gaze, Sydney was in his arms. We shared a secret, happy smile.

We both had our worlds back, the both of us holding them in our arms, and now we'd both made vows to never let go.

I closed my eyes and Dimitri's arms tightened around me.

I was home.

_The End  
><em>

**XxxxXxxxX**

**AHHHH! Love you guys, hope you enjoyed this story.**

**Thank you Kelly, for giving Rose and Dimitri the perfect name for their little boy. **

**Leave me a review and I'll get back to you. :)**

**Mwah mwah.**

**~ Buria**


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